I've lived for extensive periods with levels that were much too high(more than 4x the norm), too low, and where they should be. I've experienced differences with each, as well as just general HRT changes.
In the beginning my levels were too low (about 1/4 of where they should be). I was swapping patches twice a week. I found during this period I cried a LOT. This is a common side effect with low Estradiol level, but may have been due to the adjustments of HRT as well.
During this time, I questioned my orientation a bit. I'd only really had attraction to women up to this point. I think transitioning made it easier to revisit my position on which genders I found myself attracted to and made me ask myself if I could ever see myself dating a trans person.
There was a brief period where I identified as possibly bi (or even pan), but ultimately found myself to be like a 5.9 on the Kinsey scale (assuming decimals count and we're talking about parts/shapes, not gender identity). Based on my own self reflection, I determined the period where I questioned my orientation was most likely driven by a subconscious desire to fulfill social norms.
Transitioning socially and physically from one gender to another certainly makes it easier to see gender as anything but binary and to understand people are just people. IMO it really comes down to what parts, shapes, and personalities you're most attracted to.
I also found myself more interested in fashion around this time. I also started reading magazines (which I'd never really had in interest in prior). I started cooking, doing crafts, and developed a love for cooking shows and documentaries. I found these newfound interests noteworthy (for me at least). These were interests I'd previously prevented myself from pursuing or even allowing myself to indulge in, as they didn't fit into the stereotypical gender norms.
As far as libido, mine was pretty high when I first started HTR, but I felt less driven by sex than I did pre-HRT (but still a bit driven - at least in the beginning). My doctor later moved me to shots (and my starting dosage was WAY too high), which pretty much killed my libido with exception to one person I dated who had the right amount of confidence, intellect, and charm to constantly drive me wild. Outside of that relationship my libido was completely dead.
Since then, my levels have been lowered to a much more acceptable level. I feel sexual, my libido is fine. Sex is sex; I'm not driven by it. I enjoy it a lot, but I could just as easily live without it (MUCH different than pre-HRT). When my partner or I want it, we know what to do to get the other one to feel the same.
I have also noticed there's a much more sensual aspect to sex since starting HRT. I'm much more in tune to my partner's wants and needs than my own, and I get just as much satisfaction from making her orgasm as I do orgasming myself. I still like to orgasm tho [emoji57][emoji39]
As far as mental and emotional changes I've experienced.. I think I've seen more emotional changes than anything..there have definitely been mental changes, but I'm not entirely confident those weren't at least in some part due to social influences, environmental changes, and/or feeling like I'm finally living authentically.
Emotionally, I'm happy - like seriously happy. My depression fell away, and I'm fairly carefree. I have noticed a change in emotional stability as I get closer to my next weekly shot. I'm 99% certain this is due to changes in levels as the week goes by - based off of my own observations when my endo had adjusted my dosage. This was more noticeable when she had me on a lower dose, and has been mostly nonexistent since choosing to go back to my original dosage. *i don't condone self-medicating, but am stuck with my endo for now, and she's been blowing me off whenever I've tried to address the adverse effects I've been experiencing with her lowing my dosage further.
Mentally, I've felt much more social or at least as though I'm finally feeling like I want to be social (I've always been fairly reclusive). I still find that I have social anxiety, but this is mostly due to my own insecurities. I've also noticed based on medication adjustments that my hormones levels directly impact my ability to think, process thought/reason, and remember things.
When my levels have been low, I've had issues to the point of almost losing my job. I can't think; I'm slow, unmotivated, I can't remember anything, I experience a sort of constant 'foggy-brain'. My partner and a few others have related interacting with me (when I was having these issues) to interacting with someone with Alzheimer's. The biggest piece of advice I could ever give anyone transitioning is to find a doctor who listens to you, who you feel truly has your best interests in mind.
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