Hello Everyone!

[EyesOpen]

Where to begin...it's been an eventful few months!

I'm 29, AMAB, and currently finding some sort of peace with the label 'genderfluid', though I expect this to evolve over the next few months. I remember expressing more feminine / androgynously as a very young child, but as I was raised in the rural American south, this side of me was locked away and suppressed rather quickly. I despise confrontation, and being a queer kid in a religious-conservative dystopia was more than I was willing to take on.

Over the last few years, I've started to embrace my bisexuality. This is something I've been more or less aware of since high school, but have kept to myself out of the fear of harassment and violence. I now live in the capital region of NY, and find it much easier to be comfortable exploring my feelings here. I'm no where near being "out", but I'm finally being honest with myself. Tugging at the bisexuality thread started to unravel the mask that I'd created over the years to hide my actual self, which lead to the realization that I fit somewhere on the transgender spectrum.

I'm married to an amazingly supportive wife, who has been helping me sort myself out as I learn more and more about this side of me that's been neglected for so long. I've just made my first appointment with a gender therapist to start working through this with professional guidance and I'm excited to see where this road will lead. That surprises me, to be honest -- I always thought I'd be terrified instead of happy to confront this, but here we are :-)

I don't want to ramble, so I'll wrap this up by saying THANK YOU to all of the wonderful people who are active on this site. I've been lurking for a few weeks now, and reading your experiences, struggles, and supportive words has given me strength when I needed it, and helped me feel more normal when I've felt down about myself. These forums are an invaluable service to our community and I hope to give back as much as I've gotten out of them!

Thanks for reading, and I'm looking forward to talking with you all <3

[RedfootDaddy]

<3

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. I am sure that you will find before long you are contributing to the forums. If not your past gender knowledge, possibly your life skills or just your support of others. In time you will learn more and find yourself helping even more. For now, relax and enjoy the site. If there is anything I can help you with, let me know.

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[EyesOpen]

Thanks Dena!

<3

Hello friend

[aislingofD]

another <3 from your sister. So proud of you!

[DawnOday]

Welcome, This is a great source for information and friendship with others going through the same trials and tribulations as you are. I've learned so much since I showed up here seeking answers to my life long pain. I am at peace with myself now that I have been on HRT a couple months. No more dwelling on things I cannot control. I hope your journey allows you to carve the path you seek. It's not going to be easy and it is a lot of hard work outside of being VERY expensive. Having an accepting spouse is half the battle. I find it so out of whack that people say we are deviant and we had a choice. I am pretty sure at this point, most did not have a choice. What we need is more research to understand our sexuality and why we are the way we are. But as long as it is a religious POV that leads government, acceptance will be a fight we have to make. Do I want to pass? That would be a welcome happenstance, but my goal is to be accepted for my personal decision whether I pass or not is not such a big deal as long as when I look in the mirror I am satisfied with what looks back at me. At least at my age.   

[V M]

Hi EyesOpen 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[EyesOpen]

Thanks again for all the welcomes

I find it so out of whack that people say we are deviant and we had a choice. I am pretty sure at this point, most did not have a choice.

It's sickening how much misinformation is out there. The entire neurological/hormonal/medical side of it is completely unknown to most people. They think it's just a sexual thing and write us off as perverts, not realizing that our brains are wired different and transitioning is about the ability to express your actual personality and not about getting your jollies. Hell, MtF HRT kills libido, so if it were a sexual thing, why would we transition? -_-

But I really can't blame others for being ignorant about it. I never knew about that side of TG until I started investigating it over my own identity. The information just isn't widely known, and people continue thinking ideas that were disproven decades ago.

[Torchickens]

Welcome to the forums EyesOpen. 

*hugs*