I'm feed up with all the negative stuffs the T-community says about detransition

[Sebby Michelango]

I knows I've written many posts about detransition at this forum. But I've heard about some people in certain transgender communities who's against detransition and I'm so feed up with that kind of stuffs. (I'm not talking about this forum, but other tg-communities.) I thinks it's bad that people who usually supports transition doesn't support detransition like we do leave them or they believes we won't support them anymore. I do still support the transgender community even though I choose to detransistion. I'm not like certain peoples in interviews who suddenly says they "dislikes" people who transition after figuring out transition weren't for them. I doesn't identify myself as transgender anymore and therefor wants to detransition. But I'm still going to stay at this forum. I'm a bit nervous to telling my class that I'm going back. Hopeful it would go well.

Earlier post I wrote about coming out at school:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,213434.msg1889988.html#msg1889988

[Elis]

As long as detransitioning isn't due to how people treat you as a trans person or because transitioning seems impossible then I have no problem with it. At least you know for definite now how you identify and what would make you happiest. Hope it goes well for you

[Dena]

This site welcomes people who are transitioning or detransitioning. The word of warning going either way is to be very aware of yourself before going either direction and understand yourself well if you feel you made a mistake. The feelings you have/had will not go way though fear and pressure can push them into the background. MTFs on blockers can feel they are cured but leaving the blockers will cause a return of the old feelings. Therapy is always a good idea when making a decision like this because you will get an outside view to compare your feelings with.

We have people on the site who for a number of reasons have decided a transition was not right at this point in their life. Some are post surgical but all have decided the time isn't right and they are better off living with the discomfort. It's a personal decision and only you are able to judge what's best for you. We have insufficient information to judge if your decision is correct.

[Ashley3]

I knows I've written many posts about detransition at this forum. But I've heard about some people in certain transgender communities who's against detransition and I'm so feed up with that kind of stuffs. (I'm not talking about this forum, but other tg-communities.) I thinks it's bad that people who usually supports transition doesn't support detransition like we do leave them or they believes we won't support them anymore. I do still support the transgender community even though I choose to detransistion. I'm not like certain peoples in interviews who suddenly says they "dislikes" people who transition after figuring out transition weren't for them. I doesn't identify myself as transgender anymore and therefor wants to detransition. But I'm still going to stay at this forum. I'm a bit nervous to telling my class that I'm going back. Hopeful it would go well.

Earlier post I wrote about coming out at school:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,213434.msg1889988.html#msg1889988

I think this other thread offered a lot of wisdom.

In the spirit of some of those answers, I sort of believe there is no such thing as detransition. You merely work to take steps that lead to living a happy healthy fulfilling life.

I do believe detransition is sometimes looked at as "not accepted" or "one who is not part of the club" or the like but that's no different than many other clickish things... one just needs to use wisdom to navigate it. You can hang around folks like that and buffer that stuff, or not, etc.

It seems your method is to have courage to speak about it... that's great but you might want to make sure you're not stigmatizing yourself with a label that may not be necessary. What I mean is that the use of the term detransition sort of implies a binary of transition or detransition which I think is too limiting. Perhaps you want to not live in the role for a while to see how you feel... that's fine... but I don't see that as detransitioning. I get why folks use that term... well, I'm understanding of it... it's our language and we need a way to communicate things... I just think it's helpful to remember you and your authenticity come first, then the labels... and the latter are super limited in what they can express.

For some folks who are in the midst of many exciting life changes and transition goals and enjoying changes, where they encounter someone who wants to discuss the concept of detransition, I'm guessing it can feel negative... because many such folks deal with so much negativity, often negativity which has a reparative therapy tone so the term detransition can feel like someone is trying to convince them of something.

Also, imagine someone excited about FFS scheduled next month, as an example, where they have a friend who is saying "I detransitioned... and that's valid." Well, in that case, the person who has surgery scheduled is excited about upcoming changes, they may also be in a fragile state and guarded of obstacles or negativity, and they may sense subtext in that detransitioning person that may feel like an agenda or a need to gain acceptance. It's sort of no different than a transitioner sort of fawning on others for acceptance... I think it's best to avoid that because it seems the best transition (or detransition) is one of confidence, not needing to fawn on others in that way.

I think the best thing is for folks to find friends who accept them for who they are, transition or no transition. In that case it becomes more about the things those people do as friends (see movies, go to lunch, museum, etc.) and not so much where they each are on the superficial bar of transition validity.

[GlobalPessimum]

I think it's very unfortunate that there is very little support for detransitioners in the community. This is just making it all that much harder to go back, even for those who would really want to. It's easy to find stories of people who transitioned, then figured out that was the wrong thing to do, and ended up in a right pickle, having lost family and friends to transition and trans family and friends to detransition.

There might still be hope though. Detransitioning used to be rare because transitioning was rare. There's now a definite spike in the number of people who transition (e.g. see Gender identity clinic services under strain as referral rates soar), so there's going to be an uptick on the number of detransitioners also. It's just a matter of time before there's enough people who decide to go back, that they begin getting together to give each other the support the community has not been able to provide until now.

In time, we may even be able to build some bridges between us. Making it easy for people to take back a wrong decision is surely going to be beneficial to all.

[LizK]

I agree a decision to detransition can be made for many reason and not always because the transitioner is not an appropriate candidate to transition. In some cases that will happen but isn't that just part of the whole learning curve of being trans? We may enter this journey with a goal in mind only to have this or circumstances change. Help for folks to be able to accomplish going back I think would be worthwhile.

I hope that following the guidelines as they are set out will hopefully avoid too many getting too far into transition before needing to go back...as always prevention is better than cure but to have resources for those who need to detransition  is a good idea.

Liz 

[stephaniec]

find yourself  be free

[Michelle_P]

Transition isn't for everybody.  Detransition isn't for everybody.

It's just something we all need to learn and accept.  Folks can change their mind.  That's OK.  We each have to find our own path.  My path isn't right for anyone else.  It may be similar to yours.  It may be different.  That's OK, too.

What I don't find acceptible is forced detransition.  When someone has to give up their search for their authentic self, in spite of their desires and needs, I find that very disturbing.  Yet, it happens.  Some folks are convinced by authority figures in their lives that transition is wrong, evil, or a sin, and detransition.  Some folks do it under manipulation of others who are uncomfortable with their transition and use influences such as emotional blackmail to force a detransition.  And some folks just lose access to the things they need for their transition, like medical care.

Detransition as an honest choice is perfectly valid.  Forced detransition is just horrible.

[SailorMars1994]

I dont think any decent trans person hates or is negative in regards to a detrans person. In anycase if one was it is likely a begining trans person who is all excited and happy about living as their desired gender and when they hear or see a detransitioner then they may feel overwhelmed with doubt. But even then, if the trans person is well adjusted and mature it shouldnt affect their views. On the other hand, detransitioners are all over the place, sure a small number like trans indivisuals but are still valid and around everywhere. As long as the detransitioner is cool and open minded (as 99% of them are) and are more like sat Chris Crocker as opposed to a Walt Heyer then there is no reason to have ill feelings towards a detransitioner. Time for both communitys to bridge together. Its important everyone finds themselves no matter who they are

[Denni]

We are so quick to judge one another. It is not wrong to transition, it is not wrong to de-transition. It should be left up to the individual to make these life altering decisions, not anyone else being judge and jury. As has been said many times on this site, each of has our own set of circumstances to deal with and only each of us can make those decisions in our journeys. To offer advice with what we have experienced in our own personal life and our journey can be very beneficial, to judge others for making a decision we do not agree with is not.