I was so down in the dumps for a good couple months after facial surgery, maybe three. It is definitely a part of recovery. It gets better.
As to going forward with a clean break, and sorry to be blunt, but I don't think it's all that effective unless you consistently pass in the first place. Facial work helps with that, yes, but it also depends on voice. And, for better or worse, getting out into the world without a trans narrative -- at least in the Western world, which also means letting go of those people who aren't completely 100% onboard your interior reality. I mean, assuming you want to assimilate, assuming you want consistent unadulterated female gendering. Which it sounds like you do, based on your reaction to being othered as "synthetic" or "horrendous."
So I wouldn't go by your experience with your previous moves, because before your facial surgery you probably weren't where you needed to be physically to get gendered properly.
And then, at least in my experience, it took several years to actually assimilate. In some areas of my life it was quick, in other areas not so much, just subtle things about social expectations and whatnot, which of course vary from place to place as so much of it is specifically cultural. For me, a fresh start included a new career. New friends, new lovers, new coworkers, and living nowhere near where I'd ever lived before (I think 300 miles or 500 km is a decent rule of thumb) so "the story" wouldn't have the legs to follow me. Of course, that was nearly two decades ago, and the fractionization of the United States is more severe, I think, than that of Europe.
No, we can't forget the past. But letting go of it is not the same as forgetting it. Rather, we can escape its gravitational pull: weiter, weiter, immer weiter.
Or are the "troubled currents" you speak of something far different?
