I'm a handful - be cautious! :)

[zamber74]

Hi everyone, I'm a 42 year old gender confused person.  I am currently transitioning on my own, no hrt, no therapist, at this time mostly mentally coming to terms with this rather confusing feeling I've harbored for as long back as I can remember.

I could write quite a bit of my past, but most of you have been through it, you know what it is like.  At this point I don't even really know what I want, well I do, but I know what I desire is beyond the scope of modern medical science.   

I really wish I could start life all over again as a girl, you know?  This feeling of being the wrong gender through the years has really taken a toll on me, and no matter how much I fight it, or try to ignore it, it always comes back.  I'm exhausted with the lie I have lived for so long, and I don't want to continue it till I die.  I just don't know if I am capable of pulling it off.

I can't even pull of playing the part of a man all that well, I would like to just for once in my life be who I really am, and accepted for that.  Of course, I know it will never happen, and that makes me incredibly depressed to even think about.  It is as though I can not be happy no matter what I do.

Anyway, I can't afford a therapist, so I thought I might hang around the forums for a little while, ask a few questions, read a few posts.  Perhaps find the support I need to get on with life one way or another. 

[V M]

Hi zamber 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Please be sure to review:

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs

V M

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Some therapist charge on a sliding scale and there are ways to receive HRT that are not terribly costly. I restarted HRT and the first appointment was $500 but appointment are now $100 every 6 months. The prescription from the correct drug store for a transitioner would run about $40 for 6 months for estrogen and I am not sure what a blocker would run as I don't need it. I have a couple of links that you might find useful. The first is our WIKI with will explain the world of transgender to you. The second is "the transition channel" where you will see your first therapist and possibly learn more about yourself. If there is anything I can help you with, let me know.

[zamber74]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Some therapist charge on a sliding scale and there are ways to receive HRT that are not terribly costly. I restarted HRT and the first appointment was $500 but appointment are now $100 every 6 months. The prescription from the correct drug store for a transitioner would run about $40 for 6 months for estrogen and I am not sure what a blocker would run as I don't need it. I have a couple of links that you might find useful. The first is our WIKI with will explain the world of transgender to you. The second is "the transition channel" where you will see your first therapist and possibly learn more about yourself. If there is anything I can help you with, let me know.

Sweet! I'm slowly working my way ever so closer to getting a therapist.  My problem, for now is that I am a house husband - so my finances are nil.  Thankfully, I have a wife who is incredibly open minded and an LGBT supporter.  I'm planting little hints, here and there until it grows on her.. I even told her I would dress up as Dr. Frank N. Furter from TRHPS and she got excited!

I think she already knows I am, and has for a while but I am not going to come out full blown.  It is going to be a very slow transition, there is no rush - just knowing that I am on a transition in of itself is incredibly liberating.

[zamber74]

Hi zamber 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Please be sure to review:

Things that you should read

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation rules
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Hugs

V M

I read them all, and will do my best to abide by them   I love your avatar btw

[Mariah]

Hi Zamber74, welcome to Susan's. You are not alone. So many start transitioning on their own and may not know where or even how to get the care they need to move forward with a transition. I can totally relate to that. Not transitioning for years took its toll on my body as it does so many others. So many of us when we start out really don't know and are not sure if we can pull this off, but as we get moving along and start to learn more about the process and ourselves we discover that yes we often can pull it off and transition knowing we can't live that lie of the life we were living before that point.  Often there are options for or little costs for therapists and even some who will work with you. It could be worth looking at the options near you. You might be able to find some one who can help you that doesn't cause an issue money wise for you. i look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah