Being full-time when you're follically challenged

[vicki_sixx]

For obvious reasons, I am only looking for input from those suffering from baldness. All other input is moot.

As someone with a Jason Statham hairline, I'd love your opinion on the reality of wearing wigs all the time when you're bald. Wigs are great for a night out, but there comes a point at the end of the night where it's a relief when you take it off as it can be itchy, hot and it's liberating when it comes off.

However, when you're full-time you're wearing a wig all day and night - does it ever wear you down? Do you ever feel a fraud (or similarly inadequate) because you're wearing a wig? You can't swim, high winds and rollercoasters strike you with fear etc. Maybe it's just me but it eats away at me now I'm about to go full-time myself. I mean, I can look as femme as any girl and I can get surgeries to make me indistinguishable but at the end of the day, I'm still taking the wig off and putting it aside - even hair systems have to come off periodically

[KathyLauren]

I am pretty much accepting that that is going to be my reality.  The top of my head is not passable, and HRT is not likely to change that.  Nor do I have enough for hair transplants or other surgical interventions.  So, given the choice between baldness or a wig, I choose the wig.

It's too early to say how the day-to-day reality of it will affect me.  I don't expect to wear the wig all the time.  If I am at home on the computer, or digging in the garden, there is no need to wear it.  But for going into town, I will have to wear it.

So far, I am quite part-time, and I only wear the wig once a week.  It'll be a whole different story in a few months.

[Mariah]

I also chose a wig and as a result it has been liberating in its own right. Then when I get home and done for the day I have shed it. Now I'm getting closer to shrinking what I needed due to my own hair. Hugs
Mariah

[jentay1367]

Mistakenly thought to be a strictly male disease, women actually make up forty percent of American hair loss sufferers. Hair loss in women can be absolutely devastating for the sufferer's self image and emotional well being.

On average, women dealing with thinning hair are between the ages of 25 and 35.

- 40% of women experience thinning hair as a result of menopause.

- After age 50, many women experience senescent alopecia, the type of hair loss that naturally occurs with age.

- Unlike female pattern baldness, both the duration of hair growth and the diameter of the hair follicle decreases leading to thin hair, eyebrows and eyelashes.

These women wear wigs. They wear them and you never know...or simply don't notice most of the time. They are no less women for the fact. Neither are you. Of all the reasons to question your transition, this should be last on the list

[Michelle_P]

Jentay is absolutely right!

The number of women with hairpieces of one sort or another is astounding. There are all sorts of interesting wig and topper designs as well

Toppers match the fringe of natural hair and cover just the bald area and a small margin. The are customized. The natural hair is pulled through the edges of the topper to hold it in place. They stay pretty darn well.

Hair replacement systems stick on really well, glued in place for weeks at a time via a custom molded cap. They can be a topper or full wig. They are expensive to buy and maintain. You need two hairpieces, one to wear and one to be under maintenance til your next appointment for a swap and scalp cleaning. Yuck. And did I mention that they are expensive?

Regular wigs are actually pretty good these days. I wear mid-range ($300-400) wigs mostly, that hold up quite well with modest care every 20 or so wearing days. I wear synthetic wigs, as the material seems to hold up better than the human hair ones.

For what those hair replacement systems cost annually, I can get a lot of nice wigs, far more than I need.

The modern wig designs are very light and well ventilated. They weigh less than a baseball cap, and are more comfortable.

My avatar is wearing a Raquel Welch "Crowd Pleaser" in a nice light color. These have a neat cap design (that's the part that sits on your skull) that stretches comfortably. Little velcroed elastic strips let you set the tension. A "lace front " provides a realistic hairline that can be tinted with your foundation.

Truth be told, the human hair ones give me the creeps. Young girls in India growing their hair out for years, then being paid a pittance for a shaved head. Then there's the chemical processing, and the disintegration with use. Pass...

For swimming, do what many women do, and wear a swim cap. Leave the hair in the locker.  For exercise, wear an old wig, or better, a "do rag", head scarf, or cap.  Yeah, your forehead and brow ridges will show, so be prepared for being misgendered at the gym.

I find that I pop on a wig first thing in the morning, getting out of bed and dressed before breakfast (old, old habit). The wig goes back on its stand at bedtime.

My remaining natural hair is clipped short, with ind of those "cut yer own hair" kits from Wahl. 


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[kits]

Well my hairline is slightly worse than Jason Statham's and although I am wearing wigs for now I am not going to do it forever. I'm hellbent on getting mine back. For now its every hair regeneration technology I can get my hands on while I save up for a straight up transplant. I'll be damned if i'm not going to have a full head of hair again one day. Trichostem, Kerastem, the new therapies that will be coming out in the next 2-3  years. I'm going to use everything I can get my hands on. Basically the goal is to have a full head of hair with only one surgery and to have good density.

Until then it is wigs, but not forever.

[vicki_sixx]

First of all, thanks for your replies everybody, much appreciated.

I'm not surprised women make up such a high percentage when you consider longer life expectancy and women outlive men but even with that said, pre-menopause women (ie: my age range) still only equates to about 20% of the overall stats - just 1 in 5 - and of those that do suffer from hair loss, I bet only a minute percentage suffer baldness like Jason Statham. More likely it'll be thinning or patchiness - in other words the still have plenty of hair and won't look like an egg

Irrespective of the stats, it's hard to feel feminine or 'complete' when you're taking your hair off night after night. I am fine with it in my current part-time state as I am still living as a guy but when I go full-time I want to be femme all the time and that changes everything (for me, anyway). The thought of pottering around the house sans-wig makes me recoil in horror - that's being a bald man, not a woman, and the 'oops, time to go out, best put my hair on' - and taking it off, along with your jacket, when you return home - just adds to the fraud factor for me. It really bothers me.

Toppers match the fringe of natural hair and cover just the bald area and a small margin. The are customized. The natural hair is pulled through the edges of the topper to hold it in place. They stay pretty darn well.

This would be a brilliant solution - I'd still have my hair even when I took the topper off - if they made them with caps just for the particular region but alas they all come with full skull cap and are just like a normal wig with the 'wig problems' of discomfort and itching etc.

Hair replacement systems stick on really well, glued in place for weeks at a time via a custom molded cap. They are expensive to buy and maintain. You need two hairpieces, one to wear and one to be under maintenance til your next appointment for a swap and scalp cleaning. Yuck. And did I mention that they are expensive?

In theory a great solution and I'd only have to face up to being 'a fraud' occasionally but as you say, they're very expensive - more than the cost of a hair transplant in the long run - and it's still a cap on my head, which wouldn't be too bad if I was as hairless as a cue ball but that is not the case and so I wil be prone to discomfort.

I'm not a big swimmer so I'm not too perturbed about not being able to swim with a wig but it's just the fact that I am acutely aware of things I can't do - thus compounding the fraud/inadequate apect. Yes, I know women with severe MPB and cancer suffer the same but that doesn't make me feel better. I am trying to be the best woman I can be - not a woman with MPB.

The only real solution is a full FUE hair transplant a la Wayne Rooney and Antonio Conte but they're circa £30k and ridiculously out of my range. Plus I've other surgeries to pay for that will rack up to a similar figure Even if I could afford a full hair transplant, there's only so much hair that can be grafted and though it'd look good with a short mans cut, it'd look pretty straggly when grown out.

Overall, I know it's my problem and I don't mean to whinge but it's a big deal to me and is not making me feel good at all. As a TV I am fine with it; as a woman, I am not. I'd be very interested in hearing from anyone who feels the same (or did but got over it).

[Michelle_P]

Irrespective of the stats, it's hard to feel feminine or 'complete' when you're taking your hair off night after night. I am fine with it in my current part-time state as I am still living as a guy but when I go full-time I want to be femme all the time and that changes everything (for me, anyway). The thought of pottering around the house sans-wig makes me recoil in horror - that's being a bald man, not a woman, and the 'oops, time to go out, best put my hair on' - and taking it off, along with your jacket, when you return home - just adds to the fraud factor for me. It really bothers me.

Um.  I don't.  My hair is on from about a minute after I wake, until a minute before I go to bed, with the exception of being off when I have to wash myself, exfoliate, or get my makeup set for the day.

Once you get used to wearing a good wig, you are USED to it, and it doesn't feel at all right to take it off unless you know when it will be back on.  As in, right after the shower, or before I leave the bedroom.  If I tried 'pottering around the house' without my hair I would likely bring on a form of dysphoria.

The various 'real soon now' miracle hair restoration methods are neat, but I'm not going to put my life on hold waiting for them.  If they eventually come along, and I can somehow afford it and am a good candidate for the technique, great, I'll go for it.  Meanwhile, I'm full time, greatly enjoying being alive, and getting my hair in a box.

[JoanneB]

I went from Baby Fine Hair to no hair, otherwise known as balding since 12. Paternal grandfather was bald as a que-ball at 40. I got my mom's hips and boobs. Hair came from dad's side 

Wearing a wig has always been my reality. In a positive sense it provides a great deal of flexibility, in both male and female modes. NFW can 99% of the people casually make the connection between both modalities. If I was full-time, Sure I like "A look" for myself. But at the same time I can change my hair as readily as my clothes to suit how I feel.

Yes, I'd rather have a "Breck Girls" head of hair. But I lost out on that lottery pick

"Feeling like a fraud".... I've worked with women with alopecia. I was born and raised in a "Multi-Cultural" area with women needing to wear wigs. Were/are they any less female then I am? I allowed myself to be plagued by the "Some Guy In a Dress" feelings in my dark, and failed, past. Today I revel in the joy of being out in the real world as the real me.

Yes, it sucks. Yes, it is confusing/difficult for an SO to deal with. But like being trans, there is nothing you can do except go with the flow.... or make yourself miserable by fighting or denying it.

[jentay1367]

I would much rather have been born with a vagina and never lost my hair. Unfortunately, I, like the rest of us, have to play the cards were dealt. If I had the choice, I wouldn't be transitioning.  I'd make my life work in this male body. I can't though. I've no choice. What you may find is that hair transplants work well if you have a great deal of density in what's left as that's where they will graft from. Without that, your results will be  sketchy and not something you may imagine. Mr. Stratham looks like he may be on the cusp of it being a pointless endeavor.  I cant tell for sure. I personally had a Specialist in transplants tell me I wasn't a candidate and at the time, I looked much like him in respects to hairline and overall density. Much has to do with your genetics. If everyone in your family are cueballs with little density left in their later years, you can anticipate the same for yourself. The  hairs you have left are not permanent, some are genetically predisposed to go as well. Many on the sides and back of your head.  Under those circumstances, a good and honest Dr. Will not perform a transplant because of unsatisfactory results. I do wish you luck in your search. The one curosity I find in your post though is that you appear to have benchmarks that if cant be met, you won't transition. I think most of us would tell you it's transition or die. If it wasn't.....we wouldn't. I can't imagine doing this if I felt I had a choice.   Lisa

[big kim]

Try a bandana, met a girl who rides a big twin HD at a bike meet. No one said or noticed anything unusual