The best way to disarm someone is to react in the way they least expect. It's something I learned later on in life and wished so much I had figured out when I was younger.
The thing about people who bully other people, is that they do it to mask their own insecurities. To make themselves feel powerful because some aspect of their lives often leaves them feeling powerless. To give you an example, back when I was a kid, I was bullied for several years by this giant of a lad. He was huge. Physically imposing. Not muscular though. He was very tall, and very overweight. And I guess he picked on me because, as Dena mentioned, he thought I was an easy target. What I didn't know at the time was that he himself was bullied because of his size. And decided the outlet for that was to take out his rage and frustration on someone else. Misery loves company, as they say.
Several years later, I happened to be listening to a radio call in show, you know, where people call in and talk about any old rubbish that's floating around in their heads? Well, this guy calls the show. He didn't give his surname but I could tell instantly by the voice, that it was him. And he started talking about how horrible his life was. Now keep in mind we were both adults at this point. To hear him talk... wow, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Apparently nothing had changed for him. He was still subject to the same ridicule and hadn't been able to find work because of his anger issues. He was on drugs and had a drink problem and... sheesh. I don't know, it made me think, I guess.
As easy as it would have been for me to think payback's a... well, you know. All I could think was I'm sorry your life turned out this way, and you felt you had to use me to vent your pain and frustration onto back when we were younger.
Bullying can affect people for years. But part of the way to deal with that, I would say, is to understand where it comes from. Why do people bully those who are different? My first thought would be because they're jealous they don't have the courage to be different themselves. They want to affect you, to make you feel like it's wrong to be yourself, if yourself doesn't match up to their ideas. Because that makes them feel like it's wrong to be different, reinforcing their belief that it doesn't matter.
Understanding what reaction these bullies are looking for is one way to overcoming it. Not necessarily the only way. If you're under threats of violence and personal safety issues, then talk to someone about it if you can. Only you can really decide the best way to go about that where you are and with the people you have around you. But the point I'm trying to make is that it's important to understand that the bullying isn't about you, and who you are. It's about the people doing it, and the things wrong with them in their own lives to make them feel the need to do it. There is nothing wrong with you, okay? And these bullies seem to be wanting to make you believe there is. And to show embarrassment for being yourself. That's the reaction they want. Don't give them that, and they have nowhere to go.
And remember, everyone grows up. A life is a long time to be alive. People who enjoy bullying others, well... as I found out, you reap what you sow.
*huggles*
