Hi, I'm Jaymie (or Cat if you prefer - it's my "new" middle name). I'm doing okay, I guess; thanks for asking, person that I pretended responded to me. Was that sentence a mess? I don't know.
Anyway, I'm relatively "new" to discovering myself in this way. Although, for a long time, I've known that I "wanted" to be a girl. "Wanted" is not quite the term, it's more like... I know that I
am a girl but I don't fit the societal gender norms.
I once came out to my parents. I thought they'd be understanding since they are very progressive in their thinking. BUT nope, I was very quickly discouraged by them. I was told that being transgendered would severely limit me. I was told that I am too masculine to "pass." Now that I have my own place and my own money, I feel ready to begin to transition. I mean, I don't want to have a sex change, I just want to be myself. It's kind of hard to explain without detail, and I'd rather not, but I feel like changing myself to be more feminine will be spiritually, mentally, and beautifully rewarding. I have certain non-christian spiritual beliefs and I feel like I'd be closer to the "feminine Divine." But that isn't the only reason... I know that I have to do this, no matter how difficult it may prove to be.
Without a life story, the reason I joined this forums is because I am looking for guidance in my transition and trying to make the most appropriate decisions for my health, safety, and my gender identity and expression as a whole. I'm not sure at this point if I really need HRT, but I am planning on buying my first set or so of women's clothes and other stuff.
I'm nervous not because this isn't what I believe about myself... I'm afraid of being a target of discrimination. I know that I'm a girl, and that I must change for my own mental health. However, I'm still worried about how people who have known me as a "man" will react. I'm also searching for jobs, and I have to use the name on my Social Security card. I'm not changing my name until my gender expression feels right to me. So, all in all, I know what I am, but it may be awkward or painful in the beginning to get it.
How do I overcome the fear?
And, nice to meet you all!
