What does thinking like a woman mean to you beyond stereotypes?

[amazonprincess]

From what i understand, trans people of either gender have a brain that resemble's the opposite gender (mtf, ftm) but i'm mtf so we'll just be talking about this, i've heard the COGIATI test based on brain sex was wrong and stereptypical. I agree to a point as it was overboard and over-stereotypical but some parts of it seemed to be based on the differences between the male and female brain which there seemed to be some difference, second part and main question is just how you feel i'd love to hear everyone's answers...what does thinking like a woman mean to you beyond stereotypes.

Here's an article on brain sex to give y'all an idea of what i'm talking about lol...http://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2015/06/13-real-differences-between-male-and-female-brains/ *hugs*.

[Harley Quinn]

I don't think that there is such a thing as "thinking like a woman".  Woman is a stereotype in that phrase.  I think we all think similarly as a society, and drastically different all at the same time.  It speaks to being an individual.

[Raell]

Proof of females and males being different comes from my own experience.

Studies I've read show that male traits (when the second trimester hormones initialize the fetus brain) are mostly on the left hemisphere of the brain, and female traits gather on the left side.

In my case, I was conceived a few months after my brother so acquired his male hormones as well as my natural female hormones, resulting in two gender personalities. I also acquired dyslexia, a male trait, and the lack of communication between the two hemispheres resulted in much confusion for me.

Objects would disappear and reappear days later in weird places. When I was growing up, people often often yelled that they had told me something only that morning, and since I had no memory of it, I assumed they were lying. I thought my world seemed nuts at times, and coped the best I could.

In 2013, I found out I was transmale, and began to officially recognized my male side, naming him Raell. I eventually became aware that I could look through the eyes of either my male or female side. But one gender mode side didn't acknowledge the other, or fully remember what happened when in the other mode. When in male mode, I'd deny I had a female side, and the reverse when in female mode. Each side had different tastes in music, books, world view, reactions, likes and dislikes.

My male side is easy-going, fun-loving, lives in the moment, loves everyone, loves all sports, loves to gamble (tiny amounts) on just about any contest, thinks women are hot (this despite my being asexual). He'd swing around to ogle someone, but any follow-up sexual thoughts would quickly shut down-no doubt by my female side waking up and nixing it.
Strangely, many "bro" characteristics were somehow hardwired in..wanting to scratch non-existent "crotch" when I first got up, being totally loyal to my male pals, sometimes feeling a ghost "erection" when seeing a beautiful girl, loving action movies, some extreme sports, laughing at slapstick humor, sympathizing with the man's perspective.

My female side is critical, picky, second-guessing, obsessive, freaks out, an obsessive bird photographer, thinks men are morons, holds grudges, a perfectionist, loves art, designing clothes, likes only a few people, a bit of a snob, religious, constantly critical of my male side, who could do nothing right in her eyes.

To escape her relentless criticism and worrying,  I chose to remain as much as possible in "male mode."

A few years ago I took a Thai evergreen herb for back pain, and strangely, the herb seemed to cure dyslexia and blended my two gender personalities.

Suddenly, when something seemed to disappear, I'd then remember where I put it. Things hadn't been vanishing after all..I had been the one who moved them. Now when people said they'd told me something earlier, I could then remember it. I no longer have to suppress my male side's tendency to notice women, and consider myself a more blended personality, now enjoying the interests of both at the same time.

[RobynD]

The question is an interesting one but yeah, i think any answer given is going to be stereotypical by its nature.

[amazonprincess]

Thing is i've been watching videos on trans women "having the brains closer to females" which raised these thoughts in me, btw thanks for all the replies . Personally, i'm just learning, i love to talk about all kinda of opinions .

[Beth Andrea]

It means I don't have to think about how I'm presenting to others.

I literally used to walk around focusing on my walk, talk, "that guy said something...is it just a "guy thing" or was he earnest about it? How should I respond, and still keep my guy-façade...?" Etc, etc.

Now my thoughts have no such distractions, I just...am.

[Sophia Sage]

Thinking like a woman entails understanding societal expectations of you, and responding accordingly.  In general, that means practicing emotional empathy. 

[SadieBlake]

First cogiati is complete bs, it has merit in reflection of stereotypes, not science.

There is a vaguely better assessment test in the book "Brain Sex" with some poorly worded questions based in a 1980s understanding of gender.

The research being done then (late '80s) was based on behavioral tests that provided a fairly convincing basis for understanding non-stereotyped (i.e. solid and repeatable research) differences. The interesting thing to me is that that early work which was based on phenomenological testing has today largely been forgotten with the advent of physical tests like fmri and PET scans.

So to answer your question, I pay heed to some stereotypes simply because they make passing socially as female easier.

However without a doubt, my experience has been that hrt has fundamentally changed things for me and in ways that feel good. In short:

It's easier to feel and act "feminine" when I'm on hrt than when I'm not. But more important, I'm simply happier and more centered. Feeling human completely overrides feeling like I'm meeting any stereotype.

[RavenMoon]

I was married for ten years. My wife didn't know I was trans. She's bi.

A year or two after we divorced I told her I was trans. She said; "oh! It all makes sense now. You aren't like any man I ever knew, and reminded me more of a woman. I like that about you."

What do I do differently? I have no idea. I'm just me. I don't try and act feminine. But I've never been the macho type either.


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[Lady Sarah]

"thinking like a woman" can seem like a struggle for those first starting out. As far as stereotypes, there are several different types of women. For instance, I will never be a stereotypical city woman. However, even with my flaws, I am still easily seen as a woman by everybody I meet. All that means to me, is that I can continue to be just who I am, and not worry about what anyone might think of me.

[JoanneB]

Do I have EMPATHY.... or am I "thinking like a woman?

[josie76]

That's a really interesting question. So now I'm wondering, do I / have I always thought as a woman does? Maybe the question that I can answer for certain is do I / have I thought as men appear to?
The later I have an answer for, NO. From all my interactions with men and the way the behave with each other, both around women and not, I can say for certain I do not think like "normal" men do. I have tried to think that way. I have made great efforts to block my emotional responses. The best I got was detached and flat reactions to things. Men get their social "high" in foreign ways to me. Younger boys like to rough house around. Both boys and men seem to love to make each other feel small. Things like jokes questioning their maleness or sexuality are common. I have spent a lifetime standing at the edge of male society baffled as to how to try to fit in. I never did.

What does a woman think like? I'm not sure. Maybe just like me?

[Stacitg1]

I don't know that there is any answer that can fully put it into words. Some of what it means to think like a woman is passed on and reinforced through interaction with others beginning with a parent, then siblings and others. Some is probably inherent but I don't believe that all women or all men think the same way. Sure there may be some more universal qualities to the thought process but how much of that is taught by society vs. how much is innate is very hard to quantify.

I do know, that for myself, I had an awareness that I was female from the age of about 4 years old. I had much resistance over it from both parents but mostly my father. I was the oldest of 4 other siblings. Eventually I found it too hard to fight against the resistance from my parents and others and tried my best to conform to societal expectations about my assigned birth gender of male. It took a lot of effort and I constantly had internal conflict over it.

I just know that now I am no longer conflicted about how I think and am allowing myself to just be me.

Like many others I have heard from I never quite felt that I fit in during all male conversations but can't say that I can put my finger on the exact reason. All I know is that it made me uncomfortable.

I read a blog by a cis gender woman who asked the same question of herself and she could not really verbally express what it felt like to be a woman or what the difference was in thinking. Her conclusion was that it was an unfair question to ask a transgender female if she could not really answer it herself. Wish I could remember the name of the blog.

[herekitten]

It would depend on who said it.  If a man, he is probably being stereotypical and in a way belittling.  If a woman said it, I would take it to mean to be smart and think of everyone involved in ways that a man does not typically do.

[LShipley]

From my experience...

As a male I think with my junk

As a female I think with my emotions

As you sit there and worry or wonder about what to think or say or feel or do, a guy just does it. Some stereotypes exist for a reason after all.

Women have no idea what it's like to be controlled by the urges of T. Men on the other hand will probably recall phrases like "stop being such a girl" from hanging with the guys.

There was a House episode about a guy that was really in touch with his feminine side and was a self help writer. Turns out he had low Testosterone. lol.

I believe that's what the chemical change in the brain is referring to when you take hormones. More emotional

[KathyLauren]

I don't know how women think.  My experience so far (pre HRT) has been, "Wow, I really don't fit in amonst all these guys.  I wish I was hanging out with the other women."  And, when I do hang out with the women, it's, "This is cool.  I can't wait until they don't see me as a man."

All subject to change when I start HRT, and to further change when I go full-time.

[Janes Groove]

One of the 1st times I really noticed it was when I started working as a customer service rep in a very large, one gigantic room, call center.  It was a real no nonsense, postmodern sweat shop, type of vibe environment.  High employee turnover. High stress.   Think of that scene in The Matrix where Morpheus is showing Neo all of the humans plugged into the machine. Row upon row of human batteries.   One of the requirements to survive in that atmosphere was the ability to simply say, "I'm sorry" early and often to upset customers.  I noticed right away that the more masculine males, lasted only a few days, maybe even only one shift.  Their male ego prevented them from saying "I'm sorry."  While the more feminine members of the workforce had no problems with it whatsoever. I noticed women handled the stress of that situation better.

[Raell]

Josie

You are quite right..males tend to belittle and kid around with each because that's how they are wired.

When I'm in full "male mode," I'm that way, and was mostly that way during childhood before I realized I was supposed to act like a "girl."

It's a hard-wired competition thing for males, and I have found that females, who don't seem to be paying attention, are really secretly sizing up the competitors, attracted to the most competitive, testosterone-charged ones. Even males are attracted to the most "manly" men, and tend to circle them, wanting to become part of their posse.

I take derris scandens to blend my dual gender personalities, but when I don't, I'm right in there, joking and teasing and competing with males, and even though I'm basically asexual, thus acting on instinct, I still win the girls' hearts, and the admiration of the males. I didn't know what to do with the giggling girls who followed me around, but when I was younger, I was the leader of a gang of boys.

Even in Thailand, after skim boarding on the violent waves of the Andaman Sea several years ago, I came out of the water to find a gang of Thai Muslim young men on the beach cheering me and calling me "the man!" in Thai.

[josie76]

Wow Raell, having two distinct personalities where the memories only partially cross between must be awefully hard to deal with.

Even when I was a teenager and I had plenty of testosterone in my blood I could never understand that hard wired competition thing you describe. The only success I had emulating the boys was by observing and trying to copy their behavior when I could. It was never ever natural for me and I never could understand why they did it.

[Raell]

What's great for me is that I can at least partially control which gender personality I am in by taking derris scandens (a natural Thai evergreen herb used for back pain). As most males know, T turns you into a predator, can make one behave arrogantly, interrupt people, think only your opinion is valid, be pushy, competitive, brag, etc.

At least with the herb I can mitigate these symptoms. If I take a a very large dose of the herb, it actually tips me toward the female side, and suddenly, when men ogle me, instead of meeting their admiring glances with a challenging glare, I find myself smiling at them, instead of striding along like a male athlete, I actually acquire a swing to my hips, and all those ugly, stupid men suddenly morph into attractive humans who are very interesting.

I become social, start hanging out with other women, make plans to go places together, etc.

But after about eight hours, as the effects of the herb wear off, about evening, women morph into gorgeous, amazing creatures and I find myself moving toward male predatory mode. The weird thing is, when this change occurred while I was at work, all the women in the room, who had been ignoring me, and I them, suddenly became alert, aware of me. They would start tossing their hair back coyly, laughing at my jokes, smiling at me.

Since this predatory mode embarrasses me (I look female) I learned that six capsules in the morning will keep me a blended, harmless gender all day.  I now use my toned-down fun-loving, competitive male side to make class fun when teaching kids..having words contests and playing learning games.