Is this "crazy"?

[OtokoSuki]

I wear the things I want (androgynous)and not baggy clothes that most typical boys wear because thats just not my style although I don't have the right (male) body...YET.  Whenever people say to my parents "oh is this your child?"what a beautiful girl"....I am completely fine with the complements until the word "girl"pops up...So now that I finally know whatI am, I have no problem saying that I am not a "girl" and I'll even say that I am a boy because I am.  I know I dont have  a body that belongs to me yet but to me its always mind over body. And whenever I make the comment in front of them, they get incredibly upset with me and say that I am not their child.  So ...I was just wondering, is this retarded of me saying when I have not even begun transitioning?  Because there is absolutely no way that I'll ever use the word female when referring to myself.  I even put male on all the forms.  But that causes even more problems which is another long story.  Its just that I have no support whatsoever that I am posting this here.

[Cire]

Is it crazy?

Depends. How old are you? Do you depend on your parents to live? If you live in their house and they're paying for your sake, you could at least be polite to their wishes. If you're over 18, move out, get started on what you want to do.

No matter how good or bad your parents are, as long as you depend on them, you need to consider their feelings.

Personally, I'm just going to let people assume what they want. I'll be happy when they can assume that I'm what I want to be.

[Dante]

I agree with Cire. If you live with your parents, then you need to respect their wishes. (Besides, you don't want to get in trouble, do you?) If you want to tell people, then go ahead and tell the people you know. Like your friends or close cousins.

I myself still live with my parents, but they're ok with it. I don't tell a lot of people; I haven't told my friends.

So I suggest to tell those you can, but try not to say it to your parents' friends. (I know it's hard. You can pretend not to hear or just clench your fists or something.)

Good luck!

[OtokoSuki]

Yes I live with my parents and on top of that I have been staying home for the third year after I graduated from high school...I know I have no right to cause misery to others but Its all because of this female body which I loath.  Mine is a long story but to cut it short,...I know I can still go to college and work and other stuff but from the way  bind it makes things extremely painful and uncomfortable. You wouldnt believe what I use for binding just so it looks completely natural.  But anyways everyone in my family knows this now..the reason my mom doesn't accept this is because of the risks of the surgery especially the chest one...I am thinking about starting my so called life from some point by taking only a little bit of testosterone for now but I am still all alone at this point.  I seriously have noone except you guys.

[Teri Anne]

You said you might start by "taking only a little bit of testosterone for now" -- taking a "little bit of testosterone" can affect you (your voice, for one thing) permanently.  Before embarking on any hormone process, do the normal things:  see a TS psychologist regularly and make damn sure of your course of action before doing anything.  If you're still feeling compelled, you should do the "real life test" of living as a guy for a year or more.  There are millions of reasons to NOT proceed.  One key factor is seeing whether you can be truly comfortable living full time in what you feel is your true gender.  Sometimes, bigotry and poverty can be even stronger deciding factors in changing people's minds on whether to transition.

Sorry to take a cautious view, but sometimes you THINK you can take something (like bigotry) but, in living it, you find out that it's more difficult than it seems.

Good luck in whatever path you choose.

Teri Anne

[Mychil_shane]

I dont think its crazy just remember to stay safe even with the parents.

[OtokoSuki]

Now that I think about it, I shouldn't even bother correcting what anyone calls me as...after all, who are they supposed to be?  And what would they understand?  Of course absolutely nothing since I am the one who is living inside of me.  From now on I wont even bother putting male or female.  Even though I know I am never going to have any support from anyone...wouldnt I need at least one person to get me through surgery? 

[Dante]

Well, you may not have anyone at home, but remember, we're always here for you.