Hello Sasha.
Let me first tell you that one social security worker does not represent all of them. When I had my gender marker changed, all I had to do was send a copy of the court order to them, along with the usual paperwork, and it was a done deal. Of all the documents I had changed, no agency gave me any grief.
I am surprised you are having this problem in this day and age. Please see a worker other than the one that insulted you so horrendously. There is no call for such behavior.