SRS in Ontario Canada, Need advice.

[AutumnLeaves]

perhaps you should give it some time. you sound like somebody who's trying to go fast. that never ends well

I agree. The fact that you refer to wearing female garb as "crossdressing" and have apparently not started living full-time, and have no plan to, does not bode well, in my opinion. Rushing into surgery wouldn't help and will not make you acceptable as female, and wanting to wear skinny jeans is not a valid reason they would approve you for surgery. You don't have to wear heavy makeup or dresses to live as a woman, but doing the social transition should be the FIRST thing you do. Worry about surgery down the road a bit when you are full time and know you will be happy, permanently, in your new gender role.

[Paige]

Hi Mika,

Just in case you don't know there's only really one place you can get surgery in Canada, Dr. Brassard in Montreal.   The Ontario government will pay for it if you jump through the hoops.  The last time I heard, the waiting time was a year and half.  Because of this, Ontario will now apparently pay for surgeries done in Thailand.

As for clothing.  I know cis-women that dress in "men's" clothing or something very similar.  I'm not sure how you judge this in this day and age.

Good luck in your journey.
Paige

[Mikka55]

As for clothing.  I know cis-women that dress in "men's" clothing or something very similar.  I'm not sure how you judge this in this day and age.
Good luck in your journey.
Paige

That's what I mean.  How will my therapist or the nurse know I am living my life 24/7 as my opposite gender?  Because no matter what... I will always be viewed as a male in publics eye,  say if I don't cross dress.



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[Mikka55]

Here is my struggle. 
Here is my struggle I consider myself gender fluid.  Nogender/Female.  And I wish to have more of a female body.  The nurse at the endo knows... So does that mean it will slim down my chances down the road.? When in time I were to go further.   Last time I checked Gender and Sex were 2 different things.

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[Mikka55]

No.  I get it its like saying,  if you can't accept yourself and let people know you are trans.  Then why even bother do a sex change,  just means you are not ready.

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[LiliFee]

Here is my struggle. 
Here is my struggle I consider myself gender fluid.  Nogender/Female.  And I wish to have more of a female body.  The nurse at the endo knows... So does that mean it will slim down my chances down the road.? When in time I were to go further.   Last time I checked Gender and Sex were 2 different things.

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Just take it easy. What you write comes across as disjointed and rushed. Taking a couple of years to figure this one out isn't bad, it'll only do you good in the end.

On that note: from what I'm feeling when reading your posts, you're constantly worried. And probably for good reason, SRS is a big thing and the hoops they put in place are there for a reason. Those entail a thorough psychiatric and psychologic review + a couple of years of psychotherapy. To be honest: they're never gonna give you the green light if you're unsure like this. No doctor will want to sign off on a project that might not be what you need. I suspect you already know this, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking these questions.

So: leave this topic for now. Go live your life, whatever that means for you. It doesn't matter whether you enjoy it as a man or as a woman, as long as you're happy, it's fine!

I've stood where you are now. Right now I'm 31, have been on HRT for 18 months and SRS in 4. I did pass all of the tests, living fulltime for a long time now and happy for it. But: it hasn't been like that. I also had a time when I was 23/24 that I self-medicated for a year, how stupid I was. Back then, I was a really different person and far from stable. In the end, that led me to the choice to detransition and to emigrate to another country, to give myself one last chance as a man. In the end I still chose to transition again, but at least I gave it a shot. It taught me to let go of my fears and to focus on my happiness first, being a woman second.

So, give it some time. Your life won't come to a halt, you'll still learn and grow. Just it'll give you the stability you need, and to pull through with the results.

Just my 2 cents

[Dena]

No.  I get it its like saying,  if you can't accept yourself and let people know you are trans.  Then why even bother do a sex change,  just means you are not ready.

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RLE is about experiencing life as it will be. If you are comfortable in the new role, then surgery is right for you. If you are not comfortable, then you should reconsider your decision for surgery. Because of money issues, my RLE went two and a half years and about at the year an a half point I realized there was no way I would return to my male identity. If surgery for some reason wasn't possible, I could be reasonably comfortable as Dena without surgery however I wanted surgery.

Until you have lived in the new role 24 hours a day for an extended period of time, you are not prepared to make the decision for surgery. How you will present is up to you. You may feel you are a blue jeans and top girl or you may be skirts and dresses most of the time. That will be dependent on what is appropriate for the life you live.

People are confused about doctors saying you are ready for surgery. That is not the doctors job. The doctors is certifying that you have the ability to decide your fate and have the information needed to do so. If you lie about being full time, you are not giving the doctor the information required to determine if you are ready to make the decision. Be honest with the doctor and yourself so when the time comes to decide on surgery, you will make the right one.

[jfong]

☝ what she said.. be sure about yourself first.

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