Sadly, there's a reason why they all tend to be in the evenings: it's because a lot of pre-transitioners and early transitioners don't pass and of course that can bring with it some personal safety issues. A lot of the ladies in particular are frightened to go out in broad daylight en femme, so they feel a bit safer doing it when the lighting isn't so good.
A lot of those groups have contact forms that you could fill in if you just wanted to get in touch, or if you wanted to see whether they have any other meet-ups at more convenient hours. You could ask whether they have any members that might be willing to befriend you. Most groups have some awesome members who'd be happy to meet you for a coffee or whatever at a time that's more convenient, so you can start clawing back your sense of self-worth & start on the path you need to take.
You do not sound pathetic at all, but I understand why you're feeling pathetic: it's because your wife has been emotionally abusing you for years & that's eroded your self-esteem to the point where you feel worthless. It's not your fault that she's committed this violence against you, and I've PM'd you some contact details of support agencies that can help you deal with the domestic abuse you've been suffering. Please do contact them as soon as you feel ready (the sooner the better). It's a long, bumpy road to recovering from this sort of abuse, but I have faith in you. You can do it, and you can achieve happiness once again.
Please do stick around here. We're all here for you whenever you need us.
