I started posting in this forum under the "Coming Out of the Closet" section, and got some good support, advice, and links from other ladies here.
For now, my name is Mike. My DW refused initially to offer a name but later pled that I keep something close to my misgendered name. So, part of what I'm looking for is how to call myself. is there a subforum where I could ask advice?
So a couple of weeks ago I asked my doctor for help to locate a somewhat local gender--friendly therapist that takes medicaid. That's a mouthful to say! Especially as where I am is pretty much lacking in resources. It could be a long process, but at this point I've been closeted for 54 years, another couple of days, hours, minutes, seconds won't kill me. But it sure would be nice faster. The doc and attending nurse both had fabulous bedside manner and asked gentle questions. I'm happy I started there and not the local psych-health complex; the primary problems in this town are alcohol and meth, and I do not have either of those problems.
When I told my wife I was looking for help, she pretty much said she'd been waiting for me to admit this for a long time, but that she's also been dreading the moment. She realizes that I need to be a woman, but needs me to be her man. So, I'm getting mixed levels of support from her. We haven't told the kids yet, I'm waiting until I get better results from a doctor or therapist. They're adults now so my news isn't so important to their upbringing as it was 20 years ago, when I first tried to come out. Her complaint then was that she couldn't handle this with 2 special needs children and a new baby, to give her some time. So back in the closet I went.
To clue those who ask, I live where Esprit holds its annual conference. I haven't been yet, but I've seen some of the ladies in town having lots of fun. DW tells me I should try to go this year, maybe such an event would satisfy whatever it is she fears.
Thanks for listening. I know some of you have similar experiences, but it's always nice to have someone to talk to.
