Hi, welcome to Susan's!
Quote from: Babygirl96 on December 23, 2016, 09:31:29 PM
Question is what do i do!? And what if me and him do talk and become something serious? What if he wants to introduce me to his family and they do not accept me? What if people give him a hard time because he is dating me!? i cannot carry his children neither (i know in the far future lol) I push guys away because of my trans insecurities 
help and thank u!!!!!!
You will find that, as with life, transition is full of "what ifs?"...it's fair enough to be aware of our actions having certain potential outcomes but the thing is you won't know until you know. What if they do? What if they don't? What if, what if? If you want something, like really want it, then shoot for it but be prepared to ride out whatever comes of it. Nothing, something, everything. Be prepared for pain and/or glory. Don't let "what ifs" hold you back and chain your life to fear.
I once went to apply for a job at a well known graphics agency, it was just going to be a walk in, no phone call no letter...just ring the door bell and go in. I got to the door and was about to press the bell when all of a sudden all my nerve abandoned me. I must have stood there at the door, practically frozen in fear and doubt, debating the reasons why I shouldn't press the ringer. What if they said no? What if they laughed at me? What if what if? In the end I decided the "worst" thing would be that they'd say "no" and that would be that but at least I would know and at least I would have tried and overcome the fear that was holding me back. So I rang the buzzer, went upstairs, spoke to the editor and left with a commission for 6 or 8 pages of well paid work. As I result of that I ended up with more commissions then part-time work, then full-time work and became the editor myself several years later.
I know that example had nothing to do with being trans and nothing to do with relationships, but the fear I felt before pressing that buzzer was palpable. It wasn't the first or last time I had run the "what if" scenario through my head... about transition, about relationships, about everything. In the past "what if" kept me from living my life, afraid that the judgement of others could or would destroy me. Fortunately these days I've managed to (mostly) overcome it...it didn't happen overnight, it happened one step at a time... each time I squashed a "what if".
In your case you seem to have pre-imagined a total relationship that involves his family, children/non-children and everything. That is getting way, way, waaaay ahead of the ball game. First things first... get the ball rolling and take it one step at a time.
Your first step... just say "hi" to him.
