T and Being Sad

[Noah]

im just over 2 months and T
and i feel so sad, dont get me wrong i feel happy to be on T and starting to Transition but i feel so lonely
so sad and like a failure
I dont know if others have gone through a phase like this ?

[Kylo]

Why are you feeling like a failure? Surely it's early days into your transition yet.

I'm about the same into my T regimen and I don't feel as much as I used to. Or rather I do still feel, but I don't dwell on bad stuff like I used to. I can get to sleep at night, out like a light, for once. I have good dreams. Hasn't T affected you in any good ways?

[Elis]

It took me longer for my brain to adjust to T; plus coupled with waiting what felt like forever for any signs it was doing something; I often felt unhappy. Give it time; the first year is the hardest.

[SpeakYourMind]

im just over 2 months and T
and i feel so sad, dont get me wrong i feel happy to be on T and starting to Transition but i feel so lonely
so sad and like a failure
I dont know if others have gone through a phase like this ?

T made me calm within a couple days but the first day or two i actually broke down and had a couple meltdowns
I don't know if it was the hormones changing or if the reality hit me hard but either way yes i was sad on T for a while and i didn't see that coming. For you it may be happening later in transition but i think its very normal and your sadness may not even be coming from HRT it may be coming from something else also, we have other things outside of being transgender and to feel sad in life sometimes is very normal.

[RaptorChops]

My emotions when I first started were all over the place. There were days where I was angry and had some battles with feeling suicidal. I felt like I was never going to pass as male and I felt like I was never going to look "manly" enough. I'm 2 years transitioning (also had my top surgery) now and I feel a ton better. I feel like my brain has clicked and I'm at a much better point. I do still have my days where I stay in my room and want to be left alone but, I try to push myself to do something even if it's just playing video games or working out. Keeping your mind occupied is the best thing to do.

[Kylo]

Luckily I don't feel like transition will be a failure yet. I haven't given it long enough to know. I'll give it 5 years. If it hasn't delivered by then, I'm sure I'll have real problems.

I feel sad for other reasons, I feel like I now have to get life back on track after most of my best years being wasted in neurotic doldrums. I don't have time to really switch any kind of career now, I'm stuck in the one I'm in - creative stuff, so I'll have to try new avenues in that. There are things I wanted to do in 2005 but couldn't due to being the wrong gender. Now I'm impatient as hell because I know my time is ticking and I don't feel like I have 5 years to mess around waiting to be dude-ified. I want to do it NOW.

And life is generally a mess. I'm not in the best position financially, nor is there much hope of an improvement there. Hope is the weirdest thing - once you have it you can become infinitely more miserable at the thought of losing it again.

Rather than feeling chilled about life I feel more like it's a sinking ship that's on fire that needs to be escaped and swapped for one that floats and isn't on fire and can go where I want to go. I feel pretty chill on T but that doesn't matter when it comes to life goals. I always treated those deadly seriously. And if there's one thing I can't stand it's not achieving them.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I was sad shortly after I started T because I had waited so long for something I so obviously needed. I also got angry. Delve into your feelings because there is probably a reason for them. Journaling can help put these thoughts to bed. Give it a try.