Hello everyone my name is Lisa. I'm just shy of 40 years old, married and father, and I'm transgender. I was assigned male at birth but right now am working through my gender exploration to really understand where I fall. I've been self-identifying as gender fluid but am still trying to determine whether the connections I feel to my masculine persona are real or just the result of almost 40 years of conditioning.
I've come out to my wife, children, parents, siblings and a few very select friends. My wife is struggling mightily to process all of this and find a way to support it. Right now, she hates it but is working with me to try and keep our marriage together. We both are separately seeing therapists and we are also going to couples counseling. The hardest part right now is the uncertainty. I can't tell her for sure what transition means for me.
So far the only modifications I've made to myself physically have been less than permanent. I've gone clean shaven (ditching a beard and mustache I had for decades), body shaven, pierced my ears and am starting to let my hair grow out. But I can't rule out at this point the possibility of more permanent changes such as HRT, surgeries or full transition to female.
I'll leave it at that for now, I'm sure I'll be sharing much more with you soon.
