finding a place to live

[Shauna89]

So I currently live in NC which hasn't been all that great to transgender people or really any minorities. They finally got rid of Pat Mccrory which is great, but now Trump/Pence are here( Kinda feels like an season finale of Supernatural) and the racism and LGBTQ hate has already started to spike and it's probably gonna get worse here in the South. So if anyone has any suggestions they would be much appreciated.

[Sophia Sage]

New York, Chicago, California

[SophieD]

Maryland has pretty good legal protections for LGBTQIA folks.  There are strong activist communities in Maryland and the District of Columbia.  (Funny, at one point was wondering about moving to NC.  Now I count my blessings here).

[SailorMars1994]

Consider: California, Virginia (NoVa) and Vermont
Avoid: Oklahoma, West Virginia and Mississippi

[EmilyMK03]

Use this map, select the issues that are most important to you, and see which states have protections in place for those issues.

http://www.hrc.org/state_maps

Based on that information, you can try to figure out where you want to live.

You'll notice that in more than half the states, employers are still legally permitted to fire a worker simply for being transgender.  In fact, there actually aren't that many safe states to live in the US where all of the core 3 rights (housing, employment, public accomodations) are protected by state-wide laws with regard to gender identity.

[Katie Evelyn]

Consider: California, Virginia (NoVa) and Vermont
Avoid: Oklahoma, West Virginia and Mississippi

I currently live in MS, and planning on moving to TN(temporary, my parents live there) and I must be honest. If, and this is a big IF, you live in the far south, such as Long Beach, Gulfport, Biloxi and D'iberville it's not that bad. Most people don't bother me, my bank I go to(Regions) went from calling me "Mr Cody" to calling me "Miss Cody", given that I can't expect them to see beyond the name on the account or remember a special name for a given person, it's nice that they recognized that I was presenting differently and in-turn treated me with respect.

I cannot speak for any other parts of MS however, but the coast at least is somewhat friendly, and New Orleans isn't that far away(1h30m at most) and it seems pretty LGBT friendly.

Ideally I'd like to live somewhere like Portland or in Cali, but my friends and family live around KY and TN, so I am considering IL, although Chicago is the only decent sized city and I'm paranoid about it's crime reputation(gangs) O_O

[DuchessBianca]

I always wonder why the state I live in, Massachusetts is never really brought up in these kinds of conversations. I feel lucky that I was born and live here. In Boston they have the largest (IIRC) LGBT health/research center in the country, SRS and BA is covered by my insurance, only doctors letter needed to change gender marker on SSA/State I.D/Passport etc..., first state to legalize same sex marriage and we have a governor who's a republican that actually went an extended further protections from discrimination for trans people both residents and visiting guests this year. Rents not bad in my city, can get a 3 bedroom apartment for $650-$700 though Boston is quite expensive.

[FTMax]

I live in northern Virginia but spend a lot of time throughout the state. I have never had any social issues, and the government here has made it quite easy to get documents changed. Northern VA in particular has tons of community resources for trans people, as does Richmond in the central part of the state. Rent and opportunities will vary based on where you are.

In general, the advice to move to a larger city if you have the means is good, I think. Places like NYC, Chicago, LA, DC are all great options for trans people if you're able to find work to support yourself there, keeping in mind that cities typically have a higher cost of living than rural areas.

If you're young, my vote would be to go to school. It is easy to get out of a bad place by going to school and relocating to a different state.

[Shauna89]

Thanks Everyone!!

Maryland has pretty good legal protections for LGBTQIA folks.  There are strong activist communities in Maryland and the District of Columbia.  (Funny, at one point was wondering about moving to NC.  Now I count my blessings here).

I was looking actually looking into District of Columbia I've heard good things, but yea NC was heading in a decent direction they built up the Charlotte area pretty nice (Epicenter NoDa), But then HB2 happened and a lot of the progressive company's pulled out, then the riots, and now the Supremacist groups are coming out of the woodwork after the election, Sooooo probabaly time to jump ship.

[DawnOday]

I currently live in MS, and planning on moving to TN(temporary, my parents live there) and I must be honest. If, and this is a big IF, you live in the far south, such as Long Beach, Gulfport, Biloxi and D'iberville it's not that bad. Most people don't bother me, my bank I go to(Regions) went from calling me "Mr Cody" to calling me "Miss Cody", given that I can't expect them to see beyond the name on the account or remember a special name for a given person, it's nice that they recognized that I was presenting differently and in-turn treated me with respect.

I cannot speak for any other parts of MS however, but the coast at least is somewhat friendly, and New Orleans isn't that far away(1h30m at most) and it seems pretty LGBT friendly.

Ideally I'd like to live somewhere like Portland or in Cali, but my friends and family live around KY and TN, so I am considering IL, although Chicago is the only decent sized city and I'm paranoid about it's crime reputation(gangs) O_O

Portland, Seattle are both great cities to live. Chicago is not that dangerous. It is the burbs that suck. Sort of like Compton is not LA and Harlem is not NY. and Ferguson is not St. louis.

[Valkyrie_2]

I live in South Carolina. The neighbor 2 doors down flies a confederate flag. That pretty much tells you everything about SC. This is why I'm finishing building a motorhome out of an old bus. That'll get me outta here, away from minimum wage jobs. I drive a school bus for a living and $12 per hour, 30 hours a week for 180 days a year doesn't buy much.


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[Amy1988]

So I currently live in NC which hasn't been all that great to transgender people or really any minorities. They finally got rid of Pat Mccrory which is great, but now Trump/Pence are here( Kinda feels like an season finale of Supernatural) and the racism and LGBTQ hate has already started to spike and it's probably gonna get worse here in the South. So if anyone has any suggestions they would be much appreciated.

See my earlier post.

[AlyssaJ]

My company is based in Maryland which has very good employee protection laws specifically for Transgender.  Just outside Baltimore is a town called Columbia.  Really nice suburban spot.  Otherwise, Massachusetts is pretty good, especially as you get closer to Boston.  Of course coming from NC that amount of snow may be a shock for you.

If you don't mind moving across the country, Portland, Oregon is actually one of the best places for LGBTQ folks to live.  Kind of a liberal island in an otherwise fairly conservative state but the overall state politics are dominated by the liberals.  Good legal protections there as well.

[Valkyrie_2]

I like liberal states but I also enjoy owning things that unfortunately, liberals dislike. Having said that, I'd be interesting in joining such a liberal company. The previous liberal company I worked with was Barnes and Noble, years ago, when I was a Head Cashier.



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[AlyssaJ]

I like liberal states but I also enjoy owning things that unfortunately, liberals dislike. Having said that, I'd be interesting in joining such a liberal company. The previous liberal company I worked with was Barnes and Noble, years ago, when I was a Head Cashier.



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Yes I'm in the same boat, that is why California is off my list. I'm not willing to give mine up to move there.  However, that's where Portland is really supposed to be nice.  Kind of on the bleeding edge of LGBTQ rights but enough conservatism elsewhere in the state to keep other rights in tact too.

Maryland and Mass are little stricter on the noisy things but not too bad that I could probably tolerate it.  Alas for now I'm stuck in conservative hell in the midwest for at least a couple years yet.  Thankfully, in the meantime my company is based in Maryland so I get all the employment protections from their state.

[Valkyrie_2]

Yes I'm in the same boat, that is why California is off my list. I'm not willing to give mine up to move there.  However, that's where Portland is really supposed to be nice.  Kind of on the bleeding edge of LGBTQ rights but enough conservatism elsewhere in the state to keep other rights in tact too.

Maryland and Mass are little stricter on the noisy things but not too bad that I could probably tolerate it.  Alas for now I'm stuck in conservative hell in the midwest for at least a couple years yet.  Thankfully, in the meantime my company is based in Maryland so I get all the employment protections from their state.

It's not that I use my noisy things much... maybe one or twice a year but I enjoy doing it when I do. I've been kinda 50/50 over selling them but there's always the what if.

Anyway, I built my motorhome. Now I can get to more liberal places. That is... as soon as I get a tow bar properly attached as per manufacturers specs. It's kinda primitive in some ways but eminently livable with a pink bedroom area

What I need is a real, office job, somewhere away from the redneck South.


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[FTMax]

I like liberal states but I also enjoy owning things that unfortunately, liberals dislike. Having said that, I'd be interesting in joining such a liberal company. The previous liberal company I worked with was Barnes and Noble, years ago, when I was a Head Cashier.

Yes I'm in the same boat, that is why California is off my list. I'm not willing to give mine up to move there.  However, that's where Portland is really supposed to be nice.  Kind of on the bleeding edge of LGBTQ rights but enough conservatism elsewhere in the state to keep other rights in tact too.

Maryland and Mass are little stricter on the noisy things but not too bad that I could probably tolerate it.  Alas for now I'm stuck in conservative hell in the midwest for at least a couple years yet.  Thankfully, in the meantime my company is based in Maryland so I get all the employment protections from their state.

Maryland is not the most gun friendly state. That's most of why I live in Virginia, despite being a native Marylander and the COL being much cheaper.