Keep doubting my plans to be me for vacation

[josie76]

So my wife, girls, and I are going on a cruise in a week. I have been packing no male clothes but I keep having doubts about passing for a week. I have become comfortable just wearing my clothes in the city but I have not tried to fully pass except the one time. I am still doubting my ability to cover my facial hair shadow and stuffing a bra since I'm not yet on HRT feels a bit like faking again just like I faked being a man for years. On the other hand the prospect of being female in society for a week is exciting. So I'm a bit torn between wanting to be full time for a week and the fear of not feeling like I'm ready to be full time yet.

[Denise]

I did the same just a year ago, months before I started hormones. One thing I did was pack 50/50.  When I wanted I could dress either way.  I learned sooooo much that week.  The world didn't end, the sky didn't fall.

How are your wife and kids about it?  See what they say.

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[josie76]

The kids want me to be Josie. My wife said she wants me to go and be comfortable but she said going with a girl friend sounded like fun. I believe she feels like if I'm more partly passing that I'll be more relaxed which will make her more relaxed. She's been feeling very protective of me in public since she has come to realize how emotional I truely am. And she spent a couple of evenings plucking my old beard hairs for me. It seems the IPL I've been using is working slowly but the dark hairs did not want to shed out very well. The grey hairs have her a bit too much entertainment as those were unaffected by the IPL and came out with the root attached. I think my biggest issue has been feeling like I can just be comfortable around so many people. It kind of seems strange as I have been going g out with nail polish in my home town and wearing women's jeans everywhere. Maybe it's just the passing step that has me giving pause. Then again I know what I should do is just not care since it will be on a ship with people who I will never see again anyway. I'm working on that part.
I did get a swimsuit I can feel comfortable in. It's a purple tankini top with a high front neck and a skirt bottom. I think if we stick to the hottubs and not the big pool I won't have to worry about any parents making a scene if they don't like me being there. Seems like most people even those you would expect to be more biased just stay quiet. Last week we went to a crowded Chinese restaurant. There was a loud group of guys in there for lunch. They had some pretty southern accents but the most they did was get quiet when I walked past and I was definitely not passing that day.

[Raell]

My guess is that the loud boys weren't sure..what if they started harassing you, and you turned out to be a cis woman, and started beating them with your purse, then went screaming to management? Maybe it's happened to them before!