Am I trans? - lost my virginity

[Alex1588]

I have been unsure if I am trans or not for awhile mainly because I still am attracted to girls and thought that I wanted to have sex as a man. Recently I finally lost my virginity and while I was expecting it to be amazing I felt pretty ->-bleeped-<-ty afterwards. I was really turned on leading up to sex and for awhile during, but after a bit I felt really awkward and I wasn't going to be able to finish. I feel kinda bad about the whole experience and am wondering if it could be because I was having sex as a man instead of a woman. So my question is has anyone else had a similar experience before they realized they were trans?

[cheryl reeves]

Nope didn't have that problem.. I used my trans to last longer for I imagined it was a dildo til I wanted release which my wife loved about our lovemaking. I knew I was different at a very early age and knew how to hide in plain sight.

[ImSomething]

Hi!

So I'm pretty new to all this and am still working through things myself, but, in my own searching around, I think I've found similar complaints to what you're describing? Like, it just doesn't feel right for whatever reason, even though it feels so right. I know in my case that sexual interactions tend to be more of me working for my girlfriend's enjoyment rather than me getting anything out of it, but that could more be due to limitations of my own experiences. I do also notice that I enjoy interactions more now that I have started to accept my being trans?

My best advice would be to keep searching for other, trustable accounts and keep learning from your own experiences. Go into things with an open mind. Best of luck!

xoxo
Renée

[jjvoerman]

I have been unsure if I am trans or not for awhile mainly because I still am attracted to girls and thought that I wanted to have sex as a man. Recently I finally lost my virginity and while I was expecting it to be amazing I felt pretty ->-bleeped-<-ty afterwards. I was really turned on leading up to sex and for awhile during, but after a bit I felt really awkward and I wasn't going to be able to finish. I feel kinda bad about the whole experience and am wondering if it could be because I was having sex as a man instead of a woman. So my question is has anyone else had a similar experience before they realized they were trans?

Yes I have.. just recently discovered i am trans. 55 years. 35 years if mariage. 4 kids. Still feel like a virgin. Havent enjoied sex ever.

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[JeanetteLW]

   Sex was never a high priority in my life and when I was active, I found myself imagining the gender roles reversed and preferred the passive role over the aggressive.

  Jeanette

[Floof]

Hey,

I've never been able to enjoy sex with my own genitals involved. When I find someone I like I can get intimate, we can have fun and fool around in bed but.. Every time the very idea of involving it pops into my mind -usually through my partners encouragement- it just absolutely kills the mood and I feel awful. Really can't bring myself to doing it; its my greatest source of self hatred. BTW I'm attracted primarily to girls -go a bit both ways- but still it feels just so unnatural and wrong for me to have male genitals, it absolutely destroys my mood right away. Being attracted to women is not really a sign your not transgender, certainly not for me. I know with every fiber of my being who and what I need to be, and I'm gona do my best to get there.

Good luck figuring yourself out <3

[LizK]

I have two kids so you know I did it at least twice LOL, but when we first met...like rabbits...to me the sex was...OK...but I never could work out what the fuss was all about. I really enjoyed just being intimate with her but after the kids came along there was very little activity and in the end we stopped having sex, which was a long time before I dropped the final Tbomb. She had some physical complications going on herself and didn't really want it, which suited me just fine...In retrospect, sex was like a race I just wanted to get it over and done with in the early days. It was pleasurable but not the mind blowing stuff people often talked about. Having to be the woman in my head was difficult when love making with my wife but it was about the only way I could do it in the end. When we stopped it was such a relief.

Maybe with the right equipment I may understand what all the fuss is about...don't know but time will tell for sure

Liz

[Sarah.VanDistel]

I'm in a very initial phase of MtF transition (after many years of knowing that something was wrong, I recently accepted the fact that I am transgender and that there is, at least for me, only one solution if I want to keep on with life); I will have my first appointment at a gender clinic in a few months... Anyways, I never, ever felt any attraction whatsoever to men. Still, I have nowdays no doubts that I am transgender and that I must transition. I'm married (for almost 17 years) and father of two children. This means that, as so many of us, I also "did it" as a man... But that was almost out of necessity of getting my wife pregnant, because what I really enjoyed was to imagine myself as having sex as a lesbian with my wife. I used to ask her to caress my breasts, I sat on top of her (don't ask), I wore sexy lingerie, I loved to make love just after shaving my whole body... And in all those years, I never fantasized about having sex with a man. In short: I enjoyed sex as a lesbian girl. I did use my male parts because it's what I had in order to reach orgasm... Not because I felt like a man! At the moment, there's not much sex in my life, but I hope that in the future I will find other (more feminine) ways to obtain and give pleasure. I don't miss having sex as a man, but I look forward to having sex as a woman! So yeah... The fact that you're only attracted to girls does not make you less transgender. But by what I've been reading in the forums and elsewhere, it is not impossible that this will change in the future, so keep an open mind.

Hugs, Sarah

[Sno]

Our journeys really do reveal a lot, slowly...  gender and sexuality really are disconnected, so your trans* badge is untarnished

And for me, you've helped, as in thinking about your question, I've realised that I respond sexually in a very female way - I need to feel nurtured, cared for, attractive, desired -sexy even. Sometimes it's weird, because, anatomy and dysphoria - but sometimes that's a bonus, as the dissociation enables me to make sure that it is always as good as it can be for my partner.

Thank you (hugs)

Rowan

[Shy]

One of the reasons i'm transitioning is because I knew I could never have and 'honest' relationship the way I was.
I just can't sexually function as a biological male...tried, tested, failed, hurt the person I loved dearly. I also know i'm not gay, it's nothing that's ever attracted me, although I do want to eventually settle down with a man. I'm female in the in the wrong body, but thankfully i'm started on a journey to correct that.

Hope you connect the dots and figure a way forward for yourself. It can feel you're being pulled in every direction sometimes, but eventually you find your grounding truth.

Personally i've always know I was transgender, I just took the long way round to accepting it.

shy

[Denise]

I'm 55, married for 31 years, sex for us was good.

One thing I've learned here is everyone is different.

[jgravitt01]

Trust your feelings and what your body tells you and/or has been telling you for most of your life.
There is where you will find the answers to your questions. My childhood was one filled with feelings of wanting to be a woman and many of the things that go along with that. Suppressed that from age 16 up & have been married twice with 3 children of my own.
For the last 5 years the unhappiness in my current form has took it's toll and become unsupressable (did I just make up a word). Sex has been more of another chore that you regret having to do but push through it. Same for my current wife who has no interest in it and also was more of obligation than need.
I would suggest finding a therapist that specializes in gender therapy. Sit down with he/she and talk though this so you can have a better idea of whats going on.
Therapy has helped me "validate" what I already knew but also how to move forward.

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