I cant even... SUNUVA-

[Angela Drakken]

So today I was *supposed* to do laser treatment number 5. This time starting removal of chest and abdomen as well as continuing what precious little stubbornly clings to my face. Shover, and shave the night before as per instruction. Wake up nice and early for my appointment, grab a nice breakfast and coffee on the way..

2 or so pulses in, machine breaks down.. I'm laying there with goo all over my face while the tech tries to get the machine up and running again, its done. machine is DONE. (And so is my appointment..) I'm literally crying on the table. (Thanks to the goggles no one noticed.)

The girls there were great about it though, my appointment is rescheduled, but I'm still just, UGH! I can't even describe how upset/disappointed I am. Whatever, moving on. No ones fault.

So I'm already like, on the brink and I run into some redneck types in the parking lot by my bank, obviously making their 10 AM BEER RUN ON A WEEKDAY. (They clearly don't have jobs..) Naturally they give me static.
I just laugh, still crying, and comment how funny it's going to be to watch them drink their beer with a straw because when I'm finished with them, they're going to need their jaw wired shut. They didn't have much to say after that.

After my business at the bank is concluded, another mouth-breathing hick, gives me the cut eye for about 10 minutes straight while I'm trying to compose myself and calm down enough to drive 'home.' So I decide I'm just gonna stare back. This clown wont break eye contact. Which amuses me, part of me wanted to walk up to his window and ask him if he had something he wanted to get of his chest, maybe he thinks I'm cute, maybe he thinks I look familiar, maybe he just has a problem with his eyes and needs his FACE REARRANGED.. *Calm my violent temper. CALM.* Obviously, I chicken out, and don't do any of this other then mouthing ' What the (expletive) are YOU looking at?!' as I drive away. He continues staring. I don't even think he BLINKS.

I definitely didn't NEED this today.

My whole day is thrown.

I think I'm going to cry for a couple hours, and then go back to bed until it's tomorrow.

[Michelle_P]

It doesn't take much to throw us off, especially early on in treatment, and it sounds like the world let you have it with both barrels today, Angela.    At least you had a nice breakfast and coffee.

The 'hicks' are the worst.  I've gotten all passive-aggressive with them.  I'll generally slip my left hand into my bag, fingers on the grip of the pepper spray and thumb on the safety latch, ready to go.  Then I look back at them, cock my head to one side, give them my "come hither" smile and wink at them.  It generally threatens their manhood to have what they see me as acting interested in them, and they turn away.  I haven't had one approach me yet.  Yeah, it's a bit risky to do this, I know.

The good news is that you know what these people are.  10 AM beer runs, mouth breathing hicks.  Not the sort of people you really need affirmation from, right?  Who cares what they think?   

You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.

- Jim, Blazing Saddles 1974

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[Angela Drakken]

It doesn't take much to throw us off, especially early on in treatment, and it sounds like the world let you have it with both barrels today, Angela.    At least you had a nice breakfast and coffee.

The 'hicks' are the worst.  I've gotten all passive-aggressive with them.  I'll generally slip my left hand into my bag, fingers on the grip of the pepper spray and thumb on the safety latch, ready to go.  Then I look back at them, cock my head to one side, give them my "come hither" smile and wink at them.  It generally threatens their manhood to have what they see me as acting interested in them, and they turn away.  I haven't had one approach me yet.  Yeah, it's a bit risky to do this, I know.

The good news is that you know what these people are.  10 AM beer runs, mouth breathing hicks.  Not the sort of people you really need affirmation from, right?  Who cares what they think?   

I haven't had a need for pepper spray yet, I've boxed for over 12 years on top of other self defense lessons, and when I did need that extra little nudge, I used to have an (illegal) extendable baton that would make very short work of CROWDS if needed.

BUT I just don't want violence in my life anymore, and I know I don't need affirmation from the inbreds in this world, even though they make up 90% of my co workers. Plus in a small town, where everyone knows everyone, they can cause a LOT of problems for me, or anyone I know.

What are we supposed to do about that?

[Dena]

Stand your ground, relax and possibly get a little smile on your face. People who are thinking about confronting you are looking for fear and confidence throws them completely off balance. If you win the mind game, you don't have to be physical. If they attack you, do you best to damage them and the word will get around that it's not wise to cross you.

The other side is I suspect many people in your town will support you if you treat them well. Pay attention to others, greet them when you see them, give them a hand if they need it and if you do business with them, treat them well. The more people who get to know you, the more the word will get around and the fewer problems you will face. It's a fair amount of work but over time it will pay off.

[Angela Drakken]

I've always been a big believer in 'you treat people the way you want to be treated.'
I hold doors for people, I smile, I wave, I've done everything I humanly can. I'm at the point now where I feel it's a lost effort. 17 years is along time for people to hate you for no reason, when you do everything you can to prove yourself. I've been bottled by people in vehicles and left for dead on the side of the road when they stop me and ask for directions..!

I think I'm done with this town and everyone who lives here.

I just want to be invisible.

[jentay1367]

Really....if were thinking it through, the best tact with Neanderthal, inbred, redneck hicks from hell is to ignore them and move out of their purview as fast as possible. Anything else is absolutely unproductive and possibly....dangerous. Leaving someone that may be reading this thread and possibly ill equipped to handle confrontation because they were told it works here or that being flip with violent morons because it's cute and funny, really serves no one.
Women generally move away from such confrontations. It seems like the most practical response.

[Michelle_P]

I'm at the point now where I feel it's a lost effort. 17 years is along time for people to hate you for no reason, when you do everything you can to prove yourself. I've been bottled by people in vehicles and left for dead on the side of the road when they stop me and ask for directions..!

I think I'm done with this town and everyone who lives here.

I think you have your answer right there.

It really sounds like it is time to relocate, without even considering transgender issues. That community sounds actively hostile towards you.

I've seen this before. One of my brothers lived with my mom, and had a pretty bad rep. He'd be followed by local law enforcement whenever he was in town, just waiting for him to make a mistake.  Businesses would refuse him service. When I was there dealing with Moms estate, the locals noticed my last name, and I was instantly on the outs, followed by the sheriff deputy on duty, and not welcome. All I was doing was cleaning and repairing a house for sale and closing accounts.

I was happy to be done with that after a few months. 17 years!  I don't know why you'd stay. It just sounds unsafe for you and anyone close to you.


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[Beth Andrea]

Neanderthal?

In-bred?

Redneck?

"Threatens their manhood"?

"Mouth breather"?

Are all of you so insecure with who you are that you have to resort to the same tactics as they do? How effective is it when they call you names or look at you funny?

It's not effective at changing behaviors, is it?

Ya'all do what you want, but I've seen these kinds of people in all walks of life, and learned a long time to not stereotype people.

You can do better than this.

[Michelle_P]

There are some people in the world so wrapped up in their own belief systems, and silo'd with others in a tight self-reinforced system that any attempt to educate them is futile.

They likely regard us the same way, if they are capable of such thought. They are a real danger to us, if only because they are what Lenin called polezniye duraki, useful idiots easily controlled by propagandists. We probably shouldn't mock them, lest we forget how dangerous they can be en masse.

My apologies. I'll just go with the concealed carry and otherwise ignore them.

Mustn't upset the transphobes.


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[Raell]

@Angela

It's hard to tell by your photo, but you could just be cute, and your face so ambiguous that the redneck guy staring at you was just trying to decide whether to hit on you or to attack and hit you.

I lived on the family farm in eastern KY redneck country for 22 years, and the Scotch-Irish culture is extremely patriarchal, hyper-trans/homophobic, and racist. Their creed is to attack anyone who looks black or exhibits "->-bleeped-<-got" tendencies, possibly even kill them "accidentally."

All ages are usually within three feet of a gun, and deadly shots...from six years old to the 80-year-old granny with a walker. Most of them supplement their grocery needs with hunting, hunting season or not.

Once a man dates a woman, she's his property forever, even if they later break up and she begins to date someone else. Even if the men themselves have new girlfriends, they often would go to their ex-girlfriends' places of work, shoot them in front of their co-workers, then shoot their boyfriends. The stories would be on the back pages of the tiny local newspaper and the men would get short sentences because everyone knew the girls "had it coming."

If your town is like that, then moving sounds like a good option.

[jentay1367]

You can do better than this

Nothing personal Beth, but that's some pretentious, self serving crap.

You can do better than this.

[Angela Drakken]

@Angela

It's hard to tell by your photo, but you could just be cute, and your face so ambiguous that the redneck guy staring at you was just trying to decide whether to hit on you or to attack and hit you.

I lived on the family farm in eastern KY redneck country for 22 years, and the Scotch-Irish culture is extremely patriarchal, hyper-trans/homophobic, and racist. Their creed is to attack anyone who looks black or exhibits "->-bleeped-<-got" tendencies, possibly even kill them "accidentally."

All ages are usually within three feet of a gun, and deadly shots...from six years old to the 80-year-old granny with a walker. Most of them supplement their grocery needs with hunting, hunting season or not.

Once a man dates a woman, she's his property forever, even if they later break up and she begins to date someone else. Even if the men themselves have new girlfriends, they often would go to their ex-girlfriends' places of work, shoot them in front of their co-workers, then shoot their boyfriends. The stories would be on the back pages of the tiny local newspaper and the men would get short sentences because everyone knew the girls "had it coming."

If your town is like that, then moving sounds like a good option.

I really dont think I'm anything to look at [emoji28]

That's pretty horrible stuff..  Im not so sure it's different here in Canada, the land of 'tolerance.' The general opinions Im exposed to at work are that its 'funny' that some communities in Africa and Jamaica still stone people to death for being homosexual or that the 'Orlando shooter didnt get NEARLY ENOUGH OF THEM.' I dont exactly live in a backwater either. I live in a 'happy' little suburb east of Toronto. Most of these 'rednecks' are pretenders with bumper stickers 'farmers feed cities' but have never tilled anything in their life..

I've survived this long by fluke I think.
I grew up having to defend myself like a wild animal with shows of aggression often even preemptively. Thats the only thing some of these 'people' understand. Someone with sharper teeth and claws than they do.

[Raell]

Maybe it's just me, but I loved the way you handled those rednecks in the bank parking lot.

Good job!

[Angela Drakken]

Maybe it's just me, but I loved the way you handled those rednecks in the bank parking lot.

Good job!

I've always been a bit of a mouthpiece, ever since junior high. >.<