Venting : How do you deal with loneliness?

[Wild Flower]

I come to the full conclusion that no one in this world really loves anyone, and if they do, chalk it as a temporary emotion. Feelings are just something we humans have created for survival... otherwise, feelings are nothing. Friends come and go as well.

My best friend in this world is one person, and her name is Miyabina Susanti, and she exist in Second Life. That's about it, and I haven't talked to her in a few years.

And friends don't pay the bills, me and my stripper friends will agree to that! *why are my virtual friends dancers?? lol**

[Moomin]

I'm so sorry to hear your having such a hard time of it Archlord. I think every trans person goes through "loneliness" to some degree. All my friends dropped me too. As well as my work and family (only my GF stayed). It's been a difficult nearly 4 years , but things have gotten a lot better

I'll skip all the crappy attempts at making new friends and focus on what worked! First thing I did (after moving country), so I could really start fresh, was register on meetup.com. There I searched for local groups that interested me and were lgbtq friendly. I found a group that had just started called the femmetastic femmes. Its an all women's group, focused on women that really like to glam up and love being super girly and queer. It said they were trans inclusive, so I very nervously joined and went to their first meetup, which was a tea and cake social. I was super nervous, but none of the lasses seemed to notice and were all really nice. In fact most were just as nervous as me. We had a great time and we all looked so fabulous!

We started meeting up every 2 weeks and the group slowly started to grow. After only 4 meetups I became really good friends with 3 women in particular and we started to hang out, outside of the group meetups. We all shared an interest in scifi, retro fashion, gaming, reading e.t.c. which really helped us become good friends really quickly. The matter of me being trans never came up. The group has grown from 7 women, to over 70 now! And I have made loads of friends and had some really lovely times.

I think the trick was joining an lgbtq group rather than just a "trans" group, as It has allowed me to make lots of cis friends, but that are accepting of transgender people. And finding a group that wanted to meetup for chatting, tea cake socials, theater, rather than a going out, clubbing group. I've also attended lgbtq board games meetups since, which were also really fun and really inclusive.

I hope this helps to some degree. I know I've only just started hormones, but I've been out for nearly 4 years now. Even though I had my GF's support all the way, I was still very lonely the first 2 years or so. Especially from being disabled, so I can't currently work. I know its not the same, but If you ever just want to chat to somebody, I'm happy to Skype! Hope things get better hon! Xx

[Janes Groove]

Have you tried attending clubs/meetups/groups relating to more stereotypical female pursuits. Like sewing and quilting groups, cooking or even yoga.

Yoga groups are predominantly female usually 90% and up and I went to 2 different groups in the past that were 100% female with me being the lone exception.

You may not make permanent friendships, but each time you try it's a new adventure and at least its's better than sitting at home with Facebook crying on Sunday nites.  Which is 100% virtual and not real world at all.

[stephaniec]

How to deal with loneliness , good question. I've been alone for 65 years and it almost brought me down for good 4 years ago. I transitioned mostly because of loneliness and being wrong . I'm still lonely , but by transitioning I gave myself hope . I have no answers. I feel better these days even though I'm just as lonely by reaching out to Susan's and the LGBTQ... community. I for one don't care if the cis world accepts me or not. I needed to be me so be it. I was lonely as a cis male because I knew I was so wrong.  I really have no answers because I still am lonely , but I am happier .