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Really transgender or just hate ones life?

Started by FuschiaLipstick, January 06, 2017, 02:00:22 PM

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FuschiaLipstick

This is something iv asked myself for a while as someone who is socially isolated quite a lot how do I know I'm not just depressed want a entire new identity to disassociate from my former self? What if I transitioned and found out "oh look this wasn't me becoming who I felt I was but someone else completely and now I'm even more depressed cause more things are wrong" anyone else every fear this idea ?
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Abbiem

No, i dont fear this idea,
i never felt that i hated my life, or my partner at all, though i do not like the place i live now, so it does effect how you feel very much.
i do not fear transition or playing different roles in life.
i fear not trying , just to play the role as everyone accepts me to play, i raTHER DECIDE MYSELF, PLAN FOR MYSELF WHAT I WILL DO, NO ONE DECIDES FOR ME.
I think control, moral police personalities living between them depresses me.
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Tessa James

There is no objective test for determining who is really transgender.  Being transgender is a subjective and deeply personal reality that many of us pay a substantial price to own.

There are oppressive people, discriminatory and prejudicial behaviors that are concerning and may be the source of fear, depression and self loathing.  Our fears can grow and magnify in isolation while living in reality, facing our fears, reducing our depression is accomplished by people here every day.  We celebrate and congratulate those who can embrace this challenging process.

Transition does not happen on a whim or overnight.  One may find validation, growing in the process or learn their own limits.  The most frequent regret I have read about during my many years here is wishing I had started sooner.
Open, out and evolving queer trans person forever with HRT support since March 13, 2013
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Abbiem

tess
Quote from: Tessa James on January 06, 2017, 02:22:40 PM
There is no objective test for determining who is really transgender.  Being transgender is a subjective and deeply personal reality that many of us pay a substantial price to own.

There are oppressive people, discriminatory and prejudicial behaviors.

Oppressive people, Tessa you are right, oppression is dealing with close minded ppl.
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: FuschiaLipstick on January 06, 2017, 02:00:22 PM
This is something iv asked myself for a while as someone who is socially isolated quite a lot how do I know I'm not just depressed want a entire new identity to disassociate from my former self? What if I transitioned and found out "oh look this wasn't me becoming who I felt I was but someone else completely and now I'm even more depressed cause more things are wrong" anyone else every fear this idea ?

When I first started, before I chose to get HRT, this was one of several possibilities as to "why" I was suddenly interested in "softening my male-ness." I was advised by several TG people to take it slow, try out different elements and then don't try anything else until I was certain that each thing was what I wanted.

Earrings, nail polish, hair removal, asking to be called by Beth, affirming a probable MtF journey...all steps taken one at a time in order to rule out either possibility--that I was a male who'd just been beaten down by events (but would eventually recover), or that I had always been TG but had deliberately hidden my "true" self because of abuse and other reasons.

Over the course of the first year or so, in internal mental/emotional/logical mind-states, I realized that I was TG, MtF in particular. Then came the "how do we integrate our male self (and "his" life) and our female self (with a new life, behaviors, and outlook) puzzle. Again, over time "we" worked together not from fear or hurt, but from a desire to be authentic to ourselves.

It's definitely a journey...take your time, enjoy the ride, and remember YOU are the captain of your life.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Artesia

I had the same thoughts/fears when I first started.  My reaction when I read a note saying "rule out Gender Dysphoria" was anger, disappointment, and a bit of sadness.  Then I talked with my therapist about it, and she informed me that it was a way for her to follow lines of thought/questioning for a means to rule it out or confirm it as time progressed.  That was the point that I realized that this was what I wanted for myself.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date
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Kylo

Quote from: FuschiaLipstick on January 06, 2017, 02:00:22 PM
This is something iv asked myself for a while as someone who is socially isolated quite a lot how do I know I'm not just depressed want a entire new identity to disassociate from my former self? What if I transitioned and found out "oh look this wasn't me becoming who I felt I was but someone else completely and now I'm even more depressed cause more things are wrong" anyone else every fear this idea ?

I think most trans people ask themselves this at some point.

We all know that emotions and feelings can be transient and may not reflect the truth. But one of the big red flags is time - years, specifically. If you have felt the same way for a long time despite gaining experience and perspective in life you can be pretty sure that is the problem.

I do reckon the idea or desire to be someone else can be a separate issue. But it seems a strong one among trans people.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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Raell

I could be wrong, but cis people might think they are in the wrong profession, married to the wrong person, or living in the wrong location, but I don't know any of them who question their genders.

I used to complain how girls had the dirty end of the stick, how unfair it was that men were always favored, etc. but assumed all girls felt that way.
I was blind to how my cis friends loved dressing up, playing with dolls, and getting crushes on boys. All I could see is that boys were allowed to do things I was barred from doing. It never occurred to me that the other girls didn't even WANT to do those things.
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SpeakYourMind

Quote from: FuschiaLipstick on January 06, 2017, 02:00:22 PM
This is something iv asked myself for a while as someone who is socially isolated quite a lot how do I know I'm not just depressed want a entire new identity to disassociate from my former self? What if I transitioned and found out "oh look this wasn't me becoming who I felt I was but someone else completely and now I'm even more depressed cause more things are wrong" anyone else every fear this idea ?

Oh i felt that before i started HRT that was always a thought
I was scared i'd flip flop around or it would  be the wrong thing and i'd make my life problems worse
turns out it was really just doubts and in the end i was fine.
Sometimes it's take the leap and don't doubt
my fears where so intense i don't completely advice this but i think its important to note for my fears personally
it was so bad i blocked out my fears and took the leap and as much as i thought it's the end.
It wasn't i'm happy.


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flytrap

With as rare as transsexualism is, there are alot more likely reasons a person would want a new life and identity.
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