Quote from: FuschiaLipstick on January 06, 2017, 02:00:22 PM
This is something iv asked myself for a while as someone who is socially isolated quite a lot how do I know I'm not just depressed want a entire new identity to disassociate from my former self? What if I transitioned and found out "oh look this wasn't me becoming who I felt I was but someone else completely and now I'm even more depressed cause more things are wrong" anyone else every fear this idea ?
When I first started, before I chose to get HRT, this was one of several possibilities as to "why" I was suddenly interested in "softening my male-ness." I was advised by several TG people to take it slow, try out different elements and then don't try anything else until I was certain that each thing was what I wanted.
Earrings, nail polish, hair removal, asking to be called by Beth, affirming a probable MtF journey...all steps taken one at a time in order to rule out either possibility--that I was a male who'd just been beaten down by events (but would eventually recover), or that I had always been TG but had deliberately hidden my "true" self because of abuse and other reasons.
Over the course of the first year or so, in internal mental/emotional/logical mind-states, I realized that I was TG, MtF in particular. Then came the "how do we integrate our male self (and "his" life) and our female self (with a new life, behaviors, and outlook) puzzle. Again, over time "we" worked together not from fear or hurt, but from a desire to be authentic to ourselves.
It's definitely a journey...take your time, enjoy the ride, and remember YOU are the captain of your life.