How to orgasm when you are post op

[CrysC]

I figured things out when I was 4 months post op, to the day as a matter of fact.  I had tried getting in the mood, rubbing things for up to 2 hours until my arms were going to give out and all manner of tricks but it all failed.  It didn't work because I was still trying to make it happen.

The key for me was something I saw on Dr McGinn's site that didn't click when I had read it before. 
The orgasm is like a sneeze.

If you are trying to make things work similar to a male orgasm you are going totally in the wrong direction.  You can't make it happen the way you do as a male.  It's a reflex reaction.  It's almost like you are teasing it out. 

In my case I played a compendium of female orgasms and a rather nice video at the same time while gently stimulating things.  Those things were very important but what really mattered was that state of mind that it was like a sneeze.  If you can get your mind in that state while also as aroused as you can get it, well.... good times await. 

Anyhow, good luck girls.  I thought I would share my experience in the event it would prove helpful.

[SadieBlake]

Not so much about post op as post HRT effect (it's been a full year on estrogen now) I see some of what you're saying. The sneeze analogy wasn't wrong before and yet since being on estrogen for so long I have learned how to get myself in the mood with some foreplay or by reading something that gets the juices flowing. The orgasm and build up to orgasm now feel more in my body. Before, just rubbing would get me hot but I usually had to be actively engaging fantasy to get to and achieve orgasm.

Now it's more the reverse, I have to engage fantasy and more whole body stimulation to get started and once I approach orgasm I can just keep them rolling via touch.

[HappyMoni]

So you are saying don't try to make it happen, relax, enjoy, and allow it to happen. I can picture a sneeze as just giving into it, and letting go. It  can't be a goal oriented type of attitude, correct?
Thanks for posting this.
Monica

[SadieBlake]

That's how it works for me, I think maybe there's more difference between individuals than between genders and I've changed so radically due to hrt I'm kinda wary of thinking what works for me is necessarily right for you and I have no idea how much more it will change after GCS.

[Nicole]

Firstly, while you're on HRT Pre-Op you should be relearning your body.
What might have got you going before HRT might not work, a lot of transgirls say their sex drives died when they started HRT, going on what I went through and reading what other sexual transgirls say, its not true at all.
You react differently on HRT, its not about sight, its about emotion.

So that said, for me, post GRS I spent time relearning my body.
Firstly, after a few months of dilation I started to want to associate my vagina with sex, so I would make dilation more and more about sex.
I would run a bath, get relaxed, put on sexy music and read a sexy book, all while dilating.
At first it just made the time pass a little quicker, after a while I was almost looking forward to it (how many girls can say that).

While it wasn't until about 4 months after my GRS that I orgasmed.

There were times I got to know what it looked and felt like, I would get a mirror and check things out, I would again do this while getting in the mood.

After a while I knew the new signs, I started to really work out what was happening and what I was enjoying, what I disliked and what was getting me closer.

I soon learned that one of the things that I 100% needed what as I neared orgasmed I needed to focus directly on the clitoris itself, none of this playing around and it'll happen, it was hard, it was quick and it was BANG!.

The thing was if I touched my clitoris before I was close I would jump back a bit and it'll almost be too much.

I talked about this with a friend, she said that sometimes if her partner touched her clitoris directly at all it'll hurt and she'll switched straight out of the mood.

The one bit of advice I have is explore and play around, learn and enjoy, work out what works

[SadieBlake]

Nicole, you've related just about exactly my plan for post op, I'm hoping that's a good sign.

My gf and a few other women I've had sex with were of the clitoris being too sensitive for direct stimulation until close to orgasm.

[Inarasarah]

This is great advise Nicole.  Thanks for posting

-S

[CrysC]

Getting in the mood and finding what stimulates you is critical to be sure.  The big thing I suppose I wanted to relay was you can't make it happen with effort like a guy.  You trick it out by triggering the reflex.  Sneeze is the best way that I can describe it. 
Nicole is correct too.  Thinking about sex a lot is very important.  Before you touch yourself get yourself really primed.  Read, watch, imagine or whatever does the trick.  You want to get yourself really primed mentally.

Oh yes, be warm.  That makes a difference.  I read one thing that wearing socks was a good idea. 

[Inarasarah]

Oh yes, be warm.  That makes a difference.  I read one thing that wearing socks was a good idea.

I partially agree, there is no way I can wear socks and get in the mood.  I find them to constricting, and it kind of interferes with the curling of the toes. 

But definitely setting the mood and being mentally primed has helped a lot.

[Georgette]

My experiences may be a little different.

When I was Post-Op back in the early 80s, didn't have too much trouble with orgasm/ejaculation.  Can't remember when my first ones started, Post SRS in 77.  Stopped HRT back in 85.

As the years have gone by I was very intermittent when not in the mood.  Found reading porn stories helps get in the mood.  My partner was not interested in sex for a very long time.

In the last few years it is a chore to even have one, and long periods between.  Don't know if it is just old age. 

Had an interesting experience recently, some kind of sex dream.  Woke to find I had an orgasm/ejaculation.
Don't know if this happens to others.

[JeanetteLW]

Are you telling me the new equipment doesn't come with an owner's manual? 

Is it like learning to drive an automatic when you've learned on a stick shift?

Glad you got it figured out. Enjoy

    Jeanette

[Rachel]

Dr. McGinn recommends a book "The Science of Orgasm" by Beverly Whipple. Dr McGinn helped edit the chapter on transsexual orgasm.

She also recommends a sex therapist. If you can not find one look up AASECT on the web. 

I hope this helps.

[Michelle_P]

Are you telling me the new equipment doesn't come with an owner's manual? 

Is it like learning to drive an automatic when you've learned on a stick shift?

Glad you got it figured out. Enjoy

    Jeanette

Oh, my!  I was just thinking this when I saw the thread!  Then I saw your post and burst out laughing.

Thank you for that! 

Yeah, an owner's manual would be neat.  This whole transition thing feels very much like a DIY project, of a scale that SHOULD require trained professionals and building permits.   "I saw Caitlyn do it on the TV.  How hard could it be..."  8|



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[MissGendered]

Interesting..

My experience may just be due to my own anatomy, I was born with a vagina, but had FTM surgery as an infant, then vaginal reconstruction as an adult..

What I found was that while HRT changed my perceptions, nothing prepared me for the realities of the splicing and dicing of tissues and nerve-bunching and the re-mapping of mind/genital/functional realities.

I had my first vaginal orgasm 11 days post-op. Almost had a big clitoral orgasm a few weeks later, but I got antsy, and 'lost' it. It wasn't until 6 months later that I had a big clitoral orgasm, and then they became easy to achieve.

For me, there are two things involved. One, being warm and cozy and wet and feeling nice and relaxed and safe and happy and calm. The other is mental, I need to be in sync with a pleasant emotionally stimulating experience. I can't just watch porn, I have to be able to feel like I am the reason the guy has a woodie, that he is into me, and that I am pleasing him. Once he starts to 'do his thing', out of nowhere, my vagina has a sympathetic reaction, and we 'sneeze' together, lol. Without visual aids, I have to be thinking about somebody I really like, not just lust after.

For me, orgasm seems to be about being with someone when they are climaxing, not witnessing something on a screen, nor simply masturbating myself, nothing merely mechanical suffices...

I guess it has to do with feeling like I am giving something to somebody, rather than taking something...

Maybe that's just me, I dunno..

Missy

[PhoenixGurl2016]

I am in the process of giving up trying. I can't get in the mood or get alot feeling in the area. Pretty sure it's too soon for me, but it's still depressing not be able to have that release. I am hoping that a partner will do the trick lol

[Georgette]

Are you telling me the new equipment doesn't come with an owner's manual? 

Is it like learning to drive an automatic when you've learned on a stick shift?

I was chatting and laughing with a friend last MON morn about 3 am about some of the problems.  She had an Orchi last year, getting FFS in MAR, not sure if or when SRS.
She gave me the same response about an owner's manual.  Laugh that a man might say that, but how many men would actually read any manual.

I will give her your response.

[chinee]

we are still individuals and not all have the same way of strategy to make it work. You have to explore and try different techniques and strokes down there.

In my case, I mastered the art of orgasming and now I can even go thru it while having sexual intercourse with a man. Its more fun

[El]

I don't have much in the way of advice but I have to share the fact I've just figured out my own body. I had my first post-op orgasm on day 8 after surgery from my partner just touching my neck and upper chest and I think it was possibly due to that being the first time I got really aroused after surgery and my clit being inside a bunch of swollen tissue. I put that down as a one off knowing that it probably wasn't going to be that easy going forwards. Over the weeks that followed I slowly explored my new bits but even getting turned on was painful let alone manipulating anything.

Two months post op and my clitoris is still completely hidden underneath my pubic mound (in my surgical shopping list that my surgeon gave me I ticked the box for "partially covered clitoris" but I figure that list is more "what the surgeon is going to aim for" rather than "what the surgeon is definitely going to achieve") and my light probing had yet to produce anything other than a mildly nice feeling. But then on day 58 post op something clicked, i figured out where to rub during a dilation session and ended up managing to bring myself to orgasm pretty easily. Now I can do it whenever I want (and have done every dilation session since xD)

For me it comes down to rubbing the pubic mound at the right angle which stimulates my hidden clit but obviously YMMV!

(My surgeon was amazed when I told her I orgasmed on day 8, I always way impatient though xD)

[Doreen]

I woke up the night after surgery having an orgasm...no foreplay no rubbing just bingo.  It was very pleasant and very warm, and loved it... so I knew everything would be fine after that.

Now, 16 years later, all I have to do is pretty much nothing to get aroused.  If I even start to fantasize or rub or w/e things get really going.  Depending on how much or how often I want to, it tends to take a bit longer but I can easily reach orgasm 2-3x a day if I so desire.  Honestly its a bit distracting at times.

I did find out the higher estrogen count in my blood the worse it got, so that's an interesting side note (for what its worth).  As far as masturbation goes, rubbing the labia or sometimes around the clit does it.  I saw Sanguan Kunaporn in Phuket back in 2001.

[lovelessheart]

It took about 6 months for me to have my first orgasm . I tried before then and things were like a tingly but it was really... Forced ... I was horny. But it was forced.. I didn't know how to work things down there. So one day I got horny and I was like I'm gonna try again... Started rubbing things ... And I'm relax and just thinking dirty. This buildup just started . Like a sneeze people are mentioning. Then AHhhCHuuuu. I had an orgasm..And I laid there in awwww . I was thinking I'm glad they didn't mess my ability to orgasm despite being closed up . Almost 2 years post, I can cum cum cum . I do almost every other day masturbate . Sometimes it's amazing other days , being days where I'm just bored, their ok. But it really depends on ones mood with the outcome.