How do you feel about seeing yourself in photographs? Photo dysphoria?

[Steph Eigen]

There is an interesting thread on the forum, "Mirror dysphoria:"

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,218431.0.html

I personally have very little mirror dysphoria, but have a great deal of difficulty bringing myself to look at myself in photos.  I see a stranger; worse, one of the wrong sex.  Why I do not have this response with my image in the mirror is a mystery to me.

Anyone else have this response?

Steph

[maraesque]

Like I said in that thread, I don't think I've ever seen myself in a photograph. There are moments or half moments where I can almost see Mara in the mirror, but pictures really make me dysphoric. Looking back over old photo albums or on Facebook, it seems like I'm spying on someone else's life. Even when I recognise and remember the situations and KNOW it has to be me in the picture, I can't connect with it. It's pretty disturbing...

[Sno]

Oh yes indeed. When I look at myself, my first thought is that's not me, I can't look like that.

Personally I manage to avoid being captured, by doing the capturing...



Sno

[SailorMars1994]

Not too sure what to say. I think, in my case it depends. If i see myself within the last couple of years i am generally ok. Mainly because like every photo or so is me either as a woman or androgynous so i can breathe. But i have come across some pictures of me back in summer 2011, at the age of 17. The height of my masculine image, short hair, chinstrap with a goatee, masculine clothing with my masculine figure and seemingly broader shoulders somehow.. yup, those photos of me just over 5 years ago most certainly bring up alien like feelings.

[JMJW]

Why I hate being photographed is that alot of the make up contouring that's suitable for real life suddenly looks shallow and doesn't show up as well on cameras. Make up for the camera is blended in alot less and alot bolder.

[Kylo]

There is an interesting thread on the forum, "Mirror dysphoria:"

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,218431.0.html

I personally have very little mirror dysphoria, but have a great deal of difficulty bringing myself to look at myself in photos.  I see a stranger; worse, one of the wrong sex.  Why I do not have this response with my image in the mirror is a mystery to me.

Anyone else have this response?

Steph

Yes.

I look alien to myself in photos and it always looks different from the mirror. I have enough problems with the mirror, but I never know what the hell I will turn out like in a photo. Plus photos add ten pounds weight by not being 3D.

I've always been adverse to photos being taken. And they always get taken anyway, because people insist. Although, I might well feel ok with them in future if/when the shape of my face changes and other changes happen. One thing transition is giving me is mental armor I've never had before. If it continues at this rate I won't give a rats' if people photograph me naked passed out in a trashcan.

Maybe that's how most people feel. They don't feel raw and exposed every day, mentally... if that is the case, then I'm amazed I got this far without a breakdown. Without any kind of mental defense or wall between me and everyone's eyes. Someone once said to me they didn't want to write books because they felt the reader would be able to see into them, their thoughts, feelings, mindset. A different person said they didn't want to write and sing songs because it was just too personal to put on display. Well I feel like I've been literally on display like a piece of meat somehow all this time and I hate it. However now I am beginning to feel the genesis of a protective barrier, for the first time. I'm not hating the mirror any more, and in future I probably will not hate the camera. I'm just awaiting the changes...

[KathyLauren]

It doesn't bother me to see photos of my old self.  Soon he will be just a memory and photos will be all I have left of him.  I like the guy.  He kept me safe and alive all these years and had the good sense to step aside when it was my time.  And what's not to like about this kid...?

[SailorMars1994]

Nice photo! was the the 60s or 70s?

[Angela Drakken]

I cant look at old pictures of myself.. I can actually see what I was feeling in each one and its never good..

[KathyLauren]

Nice photo! was the the 60s or 70s?

Thanks.  1970s.  I'm old, but not that old. 

[SailorMars1994]

OMG your a fellow Canadian!!! I see you are from Nova Scotia, im from Ontario. May i ask, as i see you were in airforce, did you ever spend time in the Belleville/ Trenton area?

[Angela Drakken]

I cant look at old pictures of myself.. I can actually see what I was feeling in each one and its never good..

Naturally.. I did just this and now feel utterly miserable..

[Fresas con Nata]

Photo disphoria, well, there are no photos of me on internet, and I have none handy either. People already know I don't like to be photographed and I never need to ask them to be careful.

Which OTOH is kind of a pity because I have no images of myself on New Year, presenting as female, and having what I'd consider a good appearance.

[DawnOday]

There is an interesting thread on the forum, "Mirror dysphoria:"

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,218431.0.html

I personally have very little mirror dysphoria, but have a great deal of difficulty bringing myself to look at myself in photos.  I see a stranger; worse, one of the wrong sex.  Why I do not have this response with my image in the mirror is a mystery to me.

Anyone else have this response?

Steph

I have no problem comparing pictures and looking in the mirror.  I see how far I've grown. I remember, my first pictures of me dressed were Polaroids. Remember them? I can actually apply make-up pretty well now.

[Denise]

I'm not a fan of pictures of the old me.  The new me, aren't so bad.

Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk

[Nina_Ottawa]

I have but one baby pic remaining from my previous life. I tossed everything, not because of dysphoria, but more wanting to distance myself from the past.

[silliemunkie]

I took some pictures after a makeup session at Sephora this fall, and really haven't looked at them sense. Over the holidays I was going through my pictures for the past year, and had to do a double take, I really didn't recognize myself at first. I don't wear makeup very often (I work from home, so it's not really needed), so it was like, wow, I like what I'm seeing.

There are a few pictures I keep around from my past, but for the most part they have been thrown away, or deleted.

[SpeakYourMind]

There is an interesting thread on the forum, "Mirror dysphoria:"

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,218431.0.html

I personally have very little mirror dysphoria, but have a great deal of difficulty bringing myself to look at myself in photos.  I see a stranger; worse, one of the wrong sex.  Why I do not have this response with my image in the mirror is a mystery to me.

Anyone else have this response?

Steph

I don't live at my parents house anymore so i don't typically have the problem with photo dysphoria
because i got no old pictures of myself and i don't have to go around looking at them anymore.
But when i lived with my parents i struggled with this everyday i even tried getting my parents to remove them although that didn't work out and wasn't fair to them but it made me really distressed, i hated my old self how i looked and everything. I've got some old pictures of who i was laying around for my HRT slide show i'll someday create but i'm no wear near ready to look at them pictures i still hate them.  I also have mirror dysphoria i'm on hrt now but because i don't have any major facial changes i still get dysphoric so i just don't look at myself.

[Kylo]

When I see old pics of myself (which my sister seems oblivious annoys me) I don't feel dysphoric. I feel angry or at best dismissive. I didn't have the sort of childhood that tends to forge the best people, and all I see in it is a kid that was very unhappy. For multiple reasons. Gender isn't the first thing I think of there, it's the personal hell behind the little blue eyes.

Makes conversations with family I haven't seen in a while so fun. Do you remember when yadda yadda yadda... yeah, trying to forget, pal.