seeing GP and coming out

[davina61]

so docs tomorrow , lets see what happens. Need to tell the missis  as cant be doing with this any more. Shes going shopping with our daughter and think it might be better if she is around when I tell. If she kicks me out then at least theres no one to stop me. I/2 full person, always a silver lining Davina needs to enjoy herself and stop being a pretended male the day I start hormones and grs will be the best days.

[HappyMoni]

Good luck Davina!

[AlyssaJ]

Good luck to you. Coming out to your spouse is rarely easy and yet I think many of us understand your point-of-view on the silver lining.  I hope whatever happens, you and your full family can find peace in it.

[davina61]

well she just came back and caught me putting my stuff in my side of the wardrobe, had to confess as she knew something was up.No knife in the back or shouting but had " after all you have put me through" (nearly lost the house after business failed ,cant pay mortgage off) so she has taken the dog for a work. Dr has put me up for psyk appointment so se what happens then- Good news no wax in ears.

[Janes Groove]

" after all you have put me through" (nearly lost the house after business failed ,cant pay mortgage off)

This doesn't have anything to do with that.  She's processing it. Give her time. I'm happy for you that you are seeing your GP and coming out.  I have found transgender care to be the solution that was staring me right in the face my whole life and what I always needed.

[FTMDiaries]

I notice you're in England, so I thought I ought to mention this:

Dr has put me up for psyk appointment so se what happens then

Does that mean that your GP has referred you to a psychiatrist instead of a Gender Identity Clinic? If so, then I'm afraid your doctor has done the wrong thing - and it will delay you unnecessarily.

The old way of doing things was that your GP would send you to a local CMHT psychiatrist who would assess you to make sure you're not mentally ill, and if they find you're sane then the psych would refer you to a gender clinic (GIC). That stopped being the case in 2013 but many GPs don't seem to be realise that it's changed - including yours.

Rather, the current system is that your GP is supposed to refer you direct to the GIC of your choice - there is absolutely no need to be referred to a psych first.

Here's NHS England's current protocol for the treatment of trans patients - I recommend you either print it out for your GP or send them the link. I'd also recommend you give it a good read-through yourself, as it's always good to be prepared. The contact details for all of the clinics are on page 24 so your doctor will now know where to send the referral. You could also call the various GICs that are of interest to you and ask them what their waiting times are, if that'd help you choose the right one for you. You don't have to attend the local clinic if you don't want to: you have the right to go to any one of the English GICs.

Welcome to the world of being a trans patient... where you're always two steps ahead of your GP and you have to keep educating them as you go along. 

[davina61]

so read posts on transgender zone  as that was all I could find. Old news then. Cant get that site to work now anyway.

[FTMDiaries]

so read posts on transgender zone  as that was all I could find. Old news then. Cant get that site to work now anyway.

I'm afraid so. When figuring out which online forums to use, I've found it's always a good idea to see how recently they've been updated, and how frequently they get updated. Transgender Zone has some useful info but each of its boards only gets a couple of posts a month at the most, so it isn't very active.

Susan's is a good resource because it's pretty much the most up-to-date forum you'll find online. And even though it's US-based, there are plenty of people here from the UK who can steer you in the right direction. It's always a good idea to mention you're in the UK when asking for advice though.

Alongside Susan's, you might want to try Facebook as a good resource. There are a lot of secret, hidden transgender groups in the UK and not only are they bang up-to-date, but you'll know the advice given will always be relevant to the UK. You generally need to know someone who's already in these groups in order to be added, so the best way to do that is to join a real-life trans group (where people meet in pubs or cafés) where you'll no doubt find people who can not only befriend you in real life and help you through transition, but who can also add you to these secret groups.

You've mentioned elsewhere that you're near Malvern; as you're no doubt discovering, Worcestershire isn't exactly a hotbed of LGBT activity. I'm in Gloucestershire and I attend The Laurels in Exeter (which is just down the M5 of course). The Laurels runs support groups for patients, including a friends & family group which your loved ones could attend. In terms of general trans support groups, there's a trans support group in Gloucestershire called Gloscats who meet a couple of times a month; if you haven't already joined I recommend you do so.

You can also meet people by attending Pride marches which are pretty much always attended by groups of trans people and tend to happen every summer. Worcestershire tends to be a bit quiet in this regard but there are usually Prides in Birmingham, Bristol, Gloucester and Hereford; but by far the best two Prides in the country are London and Manchester. Manchester also has Sparkle, which is a full weekend celebration of all things trans and it's probably the best place in the country to be if you're trans. Brighton also has a Trans Pride every year and Bristol had one last year.