Shoulder woes

[zamber74]

Whenever I go to a store now, I look around at women and see these tiny shoulders everywhere, and it makes me super depressed (and jealous ).  I'm 5'9, but my shoulder circumference is 44 inches.. I know I have muscle and fat to lose, but I don't see them ever being as small as cis women's are, which is really depressing.  I can handle my gargantuan hands, my lumberjack feet, but my shoulders are just making me feel miserable.

I don't know what to do with them, they just annoying. 

Should I roll them back, so my chest is pushed forward?  Or is that going to make me look weird? If I do, how far back should I roll them, all the way?  I'm so confused     

How exactly does one measure their own shoulder anyway?  Is there a guide out there?  Is it from outer arm to outer arm, armpit to armpit?  I want to have a better idea of what I can work with.

[April_Girl]

I understand your pain, I'm 5.9 with a 45" around the shoulders (outer), Im hoping this will get smaller with weight and mucsle loss and learning to correct my lazy posture, hopefully to the 40" mark.

What filled me with hope was seeing my auntie who is taller and has a similar build I was looking at her the other day and comparing our sizes and with the correct work I am sure I could end up more petite.

[gabriellesophia]

A ballet class will do wonder for your posture also yoga or Pilates and chirp adjustment could help you improve this more


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ms Grace]

Comparing yourself with cis genetic women is a surefire way to depression, jealousy and other unhelpful emotions. It's only natural to compare and contrast I know, but it does tend to be a selective process which ignores the fact that there are plenty of burly genetic women too. If you pick and choose the most petite to compare yourself against then you're only doing yourself a massive disservice.

That said, yes, on average genetic women have smaller shoulders, rib cages, hands, feet, etc. There's not a lot we can do if testosterone has left us with the opposite but HRT and posture will help with shoulders. Ultimately, coming to terms with it and accepting it will help immensely. It doesn't change how you look but it does change how you feel about how you look.

At 6'3" I wish I was a good six inches shorter...ain't gonna happen so I just had to come to terms with it. I saw a trans woman at my endo's this week who was actually my ideal height but her shoulders must have been more than twice as wide as her hips. I know a trans woman almost as tall as me and her shoulders are remarkably square and broad and much wider than her hips. Maybe she wishes she was more petite, she never talks about it, but even so she has learned to accept and work with that. It's an unfortunate burden we have to bear sometimes.

[zamber74]

Comparing yourself with cis genetic women is a surefire way to depression, jealousy and other unhelpful emotions. It's only natural to compare and contrast I know, but it does tend to be a selective process which ignores the fact that there are plenty of burly genetic women too. If you pick and choose the most petite to compare yourself against then you're only doing yourself a massive disservice.

That said, yes, on average genetic women have smaller shoulders, rib cages, hands, feet, etc. There's not a lot we can do if testosterone has left us with the opposite but HRT and posture will help with shoulders. Ultimately, coming to terms with it and accepting it will help immensely. It doesn't change how you look but it does change how you feel about how you look.

At 6'3" I wish I was a good six inches shorter...ain't gonna happen so I just had to come to terms with it. I saw a trans woman at my endo's this week who was actually my ideal height but her shoulders must have been more than twice as wide as her hips. I know a trans woman almost as tall as me and her shoulders are remarkably square and broad and much wider than her hips. Maybe she wishes she was more petite, she never talks about it, but even so she has learned to accept and work with that. It's an unfortunate burden we have to bear sometimes.

I have bigger hips, I think.  They have a circumference of around 40 inches (under my stomach)  which is about the same size as my measured under bust.  Both could probably lose some inches.  I have had a stomach for so long now, it is hard to say exactly what kind of body I have.  My arms are a bit meaty, so I'm hoping it trims down a bit, but it is just too early to tell.  I need to lose about 60 to 70 pounds to know for sure.  Right now though, they look huge to me, and my body just looks boxy, my legs look like tree trunks.. bleh. 

I think I have about the equivalent of Kevin James body.  A little lighter, but probably the same frame.  Imagine Kevin James as a m2f and that is probably where I am going be in a few years.  I've been cursed!! lol, it is sad but I do find humor in it at the same time.  I'll make do with what I have.

[zamber74]

I understand your pain, I'm 5.9 with a 45" around the shoulders (outer), Im hoping this will get smaller with weight and mucsle loss and learning to correct my lazy posture, hopefully to the 40" mark.

What filled me with hope was seeing my auntie who is taller and has a similar build I was looking at her the other day and comparing our sizes and with the correct work I am sure I could end up more petite.

That is encouraging, I think 40 is doable because we are both measuring around the arms, and our backs add to it as well.  I don't think my posture is lazy, I've never had back pains, and I don't slouch as far as I can tell.  My shoulders are rested usually though, I can roll them back and make them look smaller, as well as my back, but I'm not sure if that looks out of place or not. 

[KathyLauren]

Posture will help.  Women do indeed walk upright with their chests forward, shoulders back, compared to men who walk slouched with their shoulders forward. 

Once you acquire some boobs (through HRT, surgery or padding), they will help to balance your proportions.  Larger boobs will de-emphasize wide shoulders.  I like the look of a B cup, but I realized that a C will look more proportional.  It's the difference between "She's got wide shoulders" or "She's a big girl".

[zamber74]

Posture will help.  Women do indeed walk upright with their chests forward, shoulders back, compared to men who walk slouched with their shoulders forward. 

Once you acquire some boobs (through HRT, surgery or padding), they will help to balance your proportions.  Larger boobs will de-emphasize wide shoulders.  I like the look of a B cup, but I realized that a C will look more proportional.  It's the difference between "She's got wide shoulders" or "She's a big girl".

I'm gonna give it a try today, while at the store.  It feels a little unnatural, but it does bring down the size of my shoulders and back, or at least that is how it appears in the mirror.  Therapy is still a bit away for me, so no boobs for a while   But, I do have moobs lol

[Ms Grace]

If your shoulders and hips are about the same width you're actually doing pretty good!

[zamber74]

If your shoulders and hips are about the same width you're actually doing pretty good!

I wish!  Nah, my shoulders have about 4 inches on my hips when measured in a circumference.  I might get them a bit closer after I lose weight it is hard to tell though.  They are the same size as my rib cage when measured under the chest though.  With all of the fat and muscle in the way, it is hard to get a firm grasp of my proportions.  Perhaps with HRT they will be even a bit closer, I wish I had a time machine to see how this will all turn out for me.

[silliemunkie]

I have 42" Shoulders, and a 31" waist. Some days I wish I would have narrower shoulders, but I have to work with what I've got. There are women at the gym with much larger shoulders, and muscles, so I think I can pass.

[Janes Groove]

I agree with Ms Grace.  We're trans.  It's other people's expectations that is the root of our dysphoria.   Buddhist philosophy/spirituality is a huge help in quieting down the monkeys that inhabit our minds and sometimes awaken like a monkey house in a zoo.

That out of the way I would stick with dark colors, even black.  Lighter colors and white tend to make body parts look bigger.

[Kylo]

Naturally I wish I had bigger ones. They're not too bad, they're broader than the rest of my profile by about 2 inches, working out may help, but I'm generally puny.

[HappyMoni]

Zamber,
   I think of woman swimmers or gymnasts, they are cis and have bigger shoulders. It was pointed out to me that the seam on the shoulder on blouses is very important for appearance. The seam should not coincide with the corner of the shoulder. If it is further down on the arm a few inches or so, it makes a big difference in how it looks.
Monica

[bluepaint]

We are all "big boned" in my family being from a Normand Viking heritage so my shoulders are not only wide but bulky and rounded, I avoid t tops in summer and things like that, that really draw attention to them! Funny I do strength training ( lifting weights) but I find it actually defines so it looks like im athletic but I dont bulk , most women cant bulk anyways unless the really push heavy weights and protein!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[flytrap]

44 inches sounds about right for 5'9". I'm 5 10 146 pounds. My shoulders are 43 inches around and I rock bikinis and sleeves tops (34B and 36" hips). It's important to think about the proportions that go with different heights, weights, frame sizes (small medium and large) and body types (ecto, endo or meso). It's not fare to compare yourself to someone who is smaller or has a different body shape.

This meaurement isn't all that important, but guys tend to be built more like upside down triangle. And it's longer around a girls boobs than her overbust (under the armpits).