Non-binary gender pronouns - what are yours and why?

[Cailan Jerika]

I tend to refer to my masculine self as he, but even when I'm fully male in presentation and/or "mental mode," I don't want to be called "he." I figure 2/3 of me (female side, female body, male side) is female, so "she" just feels right all the time.

My husband and I going to a major trans event where I hope to be able to properly dress male at least one of those three days, and trying to explain that I am still "she" is likely to confuse everyone.

[Tessa James]

When people ask that direct question I feel grateful for the opportunity and reply she/her, tho I aspire to be comfortable with all of the above.  My identity is toward the female end of the spectrum but is inclusive of my entire life... that includes decades of growth, socialization and experience as male.  She/her are also frankly easier for other people to get even with my asterisk sort of explanations.

My expression and appearance are also part of a reality that bridges a considerably broad perspective regarding gender identity and gender roles.  I applaud those that own they/them, zie/zir sorts of alternatives as I assume they may get questioned or raised eyebrows more often?

[Elis]

After starting T made my mind clearer; I realised I'm nb and not a binary trans male; although I knew that never felt right. I identify as a demiguy; someone who feels mostly male but also another gender identity. For me I feel roughly 90% male and the rest agender; but feel slightly dysphoric when referred to as 'he'. I would much prefer it if everyone could use they/them pronouns and not use a masculine social title; but I know few people know about nb identities and I'd rather just remain stealth. So I simply have to grin and bare it when someone sees me or refers to me as male; even though inside I want to tell them they need to stop.

[frnkierondthedysphoria]

I consider myself to be a  transmasculine enby (possibly a demiboy?) and I accept he/him or they/them pronouns. I mainly want to be as androgynous as possible because both binary genders make me feel dysphoric but bring referred to as male feels better than being seen as female and I feel a smaller amount of dysphoria that way.

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[Elis]

I consider myself to be a  transmasculine enby (possibly a demiboy?) and I accept he/him or they/them pronouns. I mainly want to be as androgynous as possible because both binary genders make me feel dysphoric but bring referred to as male feels better than being seen as female and I feel a smaller amount of dysphoria that way.

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Good to hear from someone who feels exactly the same as I do. Being nb often makes me feel crazy 

[JoanneB]

In my case my presentation is either No doubt whatsoever a guy, or as girlie girl as appropriate for the circumstances. There is no in between states for this NB. In fem mode for sure female pronouns are preferred. Even in male mode it's OK around the right people, but male pronouns is perfectly natural for me to accept. Hard to accept is male in fem mode. Only my wife gets a pass on that and she generally catches herself and/or apologizes right away

[cej]

I find the pronouns question hard because sometimes I'm in boymode or interacting with people I'm not out to. I told my housemates I'm fine with he/she/they and they can use whatever feels right in the moment. Probably I'll use binary female pronouns if I manage to pass consistently.

[frnkierondthedysphoria]

Good to hear from someone who feels exactly the same as I do. Being nb often makes me feel crazy 

Agreed.

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[Sno]

When a child asked me recently, what I was, I simply replied 'Alien' - why try to stick a label on it, and use one of the designed pronouns, that would be equally confusing so I stuck with something she would understand. In reality it's how I feel - alien and alienated. Having only,(relatively), recently worked out how much of my thinking is feminine, and developed an understanding of what makes me dysphoric (mis-understanding of my feminine behaviours - I react as female in the main), it fits as the stranger in familiar lands.


Rowan

[Tessa James]

When a child asked me recently, what I was, I simply replied 'Alien' - why try to stick a label on it, and use one of the designed pronouns, that would be equally confusing so I stuck with something she would understand. In reality it's how I feel - alien and alienated. Having only,(relatively), recently worked out how much of my thinking is feminine, and developed an understanding of what makes me dysphoric (mis-understanding of my feminine behaviours - I react as female in the main), it fits as the stranger in familiar lands.


Rowan

Rowan your use of Alien as a descriptor is telling and what I often said 30 years ago.  While some Aliens are good and benevolent ETs others are the type that burst out all bloody and shrieking from our abdomen!  I try to respect anyones self definition but would rather fewer of us feel that lonely alienation that kept me in the closet all too long. 

All labels and pronouns are insufficient shortcuts to knowing you in my book.  thanks for sharing with us.

[Lunacorn]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hurray pronoun thread <3 <3 <3


yaaaas mine are she / they.  enterchangable and welcome use of both

<3 yall and thanks for clarification i neverwant to assume pronouns.  can this be stickyed in the main index thread?

Though subject would need some adjustment if so

[Jackie S]

Much like Joanne, my presentation is usually pretty unambiguous, so a matching pronoun is fine with me. When I am in guy mode, he, etc. is fine. When I am in girl mode, she, etc. is good.

But, truth be told, I am pretty easy-going about being cross-referenced. I had enough harassment/teasing/and such in my early years (and my father (among others) telling me "you look like a girl" because my haircut wasn't close-cropped) that I've heard both used when it didn't match my presentation. And, since I acknowledged my femme side, it doesn't bother me. I now look at it as if they are addressing either my masculine side or my feminine side -- since I have both. (I am in the 60-40 range -- which is 60 and which is 40 depends on the day  .) To me, that is one advantage of being non-binary -- I am both... and then some.

Hugs,
Jackie

[Ubiq]

They/them.

I present as female so that's usually what I'm referred to IRL, but on the Internet I'm typically assumed to be male.

[Satinjoy]

sh'e
h'er.

And they when presenting male androgyne or pushing hard into the nonbinary genderqueer presentations.

Sh'e, h'er is very real to me.