Are you the same person?

[Denise]

I read in a lot of posts about people saying "but I'm the same person..."

I'm curious, how many people feel they have changed and how many feel they have not changed.

[AlyssaJ]

I answered no, however I have to caveat that. I think most people when they say "I'm the same person" mean that their likes and dislikes, their personal habits, their sense of humor, etc. weren't made up and faked.  That while their physical image and certain behaviors may change, the aspects of their personality that their SO fell in love with, that their family has gotten to know and love all their lives, etc. remains in tact.  In that way, I haven't really changed.

That said, I answered no because the actual experience of coming out and finally freeing myself to accept who I am and what it means has changed me.  I've learned through the experience and through therapy how to take care of myself emotionally.  I'm still learning to be more self focused.  It's funny, we're taught in life to be selfless and put others before ourselves, then we go to therapy and they tell us to stop doing that. I've also changed in my tolerance level for others. When you accept that you're one of the "different" ones, it becomes pretty hard to act negatively toward others that you perceive as different from the norm.  So in that way I've changed as well.

[Mirya]

The totality of our person is shaped and defined by our interactions and relationships with other people.  Once we transition, the nature of those relationships necessarily change, as those interactions are inexorably influenced by gender.

So the answer is no.  I am not, and I cannot, be the same person as before.

[cheryl reeves]

I'm the same person I have been for 51 years.

[MissGendered]

For somebody like myself with DID, and a de-transitional journey rather than a transition, this is a tricky question, ha!

But, everything about me has been altered by my de-transition to female. Every outward thing is also different.

When my DID healing recently occurred, and I re-awoke, my first impulse was to acquire some of the same stuff I used to cherish. Now it all gathers dust, I have no attachment to those things anymore, though they are cool, and I still excel at using them, too. I just can't be bothered with anything that once fascinated me for some undeniable reason. So, for me, I learned a very big lesson. I am not the person I was when I was who I used to be, and nothing can make me back into that person. That person was a caterpillar, I am a butterfly.

What remains the same is what many might call my 'soul'. The core being that was born all those years ago remains a constant, but nothing else.

So, no, this journey has stripped away all that I appeared to be, and I am glad of it. What remains was the part that existed before any of the 'wrong me' was wrapped around my true essence. What I have gained is what I lacked all along. I am very, very, very, glad for that fact.

Missy

[Angela Drakken]

I'm more or less just turning myself inside out. *shrug.*

[Nina_Ottawa]

Complete opposite of who I was before transition.

[RobynD]

I agree that same is a loaded word. We all continually change in some ways throughout our lives and many times people do not even realize it.

In many ways i am the same person i was at 18. A lot of the same interests and some of the same views on things, but a lot has changed also: My mental health is better. There have been lots of physical changes. I'm less aggressive about many things and less competitive in general. My political and social viewpoints have changed pretty dramatically in the last decade or so.

Still fundamentally i look back and recognize the old me pretty well. Sometimes i'd like to bonk that person on the head a few times, but i definitely recognize that person.

[Kylo]

Same person. But.

Thinking seriously about going back and doing something in school or training I never had the guts to before. So perhaps not quite the same.

[KathyLauren]

I am hoping that HRT will change some aspects of who I am.  But I am very early in that process (I start tomorrow!), so no changes yet.  So far, I just get to be who I always was at home and in a few situations out of the house.

[Lady Sarah]

In my past life, I was bullied a lot. I hated who I was. I didn't have goals or aspirations. So, no! I am not the same person.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I have determination and motivation I could never find before.

[Michelle_P]

I'm the same person.  I just don't hide behind that male persona any more.  The mask is gone.  The folks who liked the mask think I've changed, I'm sure.  I have gained more confidence, and am more open with people than I used to be, which I suppose is a change.  It's evolutionary, though, not revolutionary.



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[lc100]

I said I'm not out to anyone so I don't know yet, but technically I am out to several people. Most of my friends - not anyone else. In terms of that... I think I've been the same.

[Rachel]

I am doing things I never thought I could possibly do. I have confidence in myself. I still have things I need to accomplish but hen I look back I am not the same person. 

[josie76]

Tough question to answer. To me on the inside yes, but to others on the outside maybe not. Without my internal walls up my emotions flow freely like I have never let them flow before. To my wife I am the same but very different at the same time.