Trans best friend

[steel86man]

I'll try to keep this short. I'm at a treatment facility for depression and I've gotten really close with a couple of the other clients. The only thing is I feel like part of the reason is because I'm trans. For example, the female friend of mine and I got to be really close and were roommates for a day but males are not supposed to room with females. Also, we gave each other massages which is against the rules for other males (cis males) but staff saw and didn't say anything. Plus, I've had people say they could tell I was trans. And now I want to shut down every part of my femininity.

Anyways, I can't help but feel like my being trans has become this weird thing that I didn't want it to be. I don't want to be "special" or "brave", I want to be me. And have friends for the sake of having friends not for being trans.

[WolfNightV4X1]

Its nice to be recognized and accepted as "trans" but the sad part is thats really not what you want defining you :/ Most people want to be a man or a woman, not transgender. We're not special, we're just a little different. It sucks to have the recognition for something you dont want, whivh is why going stealth is always a nice option.

If everyone calls you a man and uses proper pronouns I'd worry about it a little less, I dont have any solid advice to have them treat you more like a man than just a transgender man, though. Except maybe be upfront about the fact that you dont want people to like you just because youre trans, but rather a person who happens to be trans. That would probably involve gendered separations like not interacting with the girls so closely, though. I guess they do that because the cultural standard is the large majority of males and females interact for sexual attraction...sooo...idk they might accidentally make babies or something. Its a little weird to me to separate people but sexual tension is common with opposite sexes.

Its kind of a relief now that I can interact with and befriend other guys without sexual tension because I seemed like a girl, Im just one of them.

[lc100]

I understand you completely. I feel whiny whenever I get upset over (small things) being treated like I'm still a girl by people who seem to accept me as trans.

I don't know much about your situation (if you pass, etc.) so disregard what I'm saying if it doesn't apply. I'm under the assumption that you most likely pass and are out, but without HRT, and your gender marker/name, etc. isn't changed yet.

It's unfortunate, but from what it seems, that won't stop unless you are around lovely people, or pass 100% of the time in every aspect. I wouldn't say you have to be stealth for people to treat you like a "normal guy," just that it will take time and passing (literally. Passing as in looking like a guy. Not time passing. Pun totally intended, though).

As I said, it's rough, but you'll get through it as time goes on. I apologize for not having better advice. Good luck with your treatment.