How does the full transition end? (M to F)

[MissGendered]

Yes, that's been so mind-boggling, the overwriting of memories. 

And yes, I also found there's no "effort at all" to avoiding "slip-ups."  But I never had a problem with that, even when I started out with an open narrative (for we all pretty much start with open narratives upon the beginning of transition).  When I finally transitioned, I was absolutely sure of my internal truth, and it's very easy to speak from one's truth.

I think what's most difficult isn't the living of the life, but some of the steps that are necessary to living the life -- in particular, letting go of some old relationships, and secondarily avoiding the temptation to revisit the past out of nostalgia. 

It's easier if there weren't a lot of relationships to hold onto in the first place.

There was a weird time shortly after going full-time, where I was passing pretty well everywhere, but still seeing the 'old me' residual memories in the mirror. During that time, I sometimes outed myself while assuming I was being clocked, only to realize I hadn't been, but duh, too late, I was now 'other' in their eyes. Later I was very good with anybody that did not know me before HRT, but I still tried to make people that new me from before my transition more comfortable by relenting a bit and acting more as they expected than I should have. That sucked, too.

I also made the mistake of revisiting places and relationships when feeling nostalgic for the companionship and fellowship of old times, but as a woman, without revealing who I had been before. Even on fora where I had been a dominant contributor, a leader in the field in real life, expounding the very same opinions garnered me ridicule or contradiction, or worse, accusations of being a man pretending to be a woman 'for some weird reason'. How could any woman know such things? It was very disheartening, and proved to me that a return to past professional accomplishments was a poor choice for me, even hobby stuff brought similar negativity my way. Boys in boys clubs keep women out with a variety of means, even men I used to respect tore into me. If I were to return to such things, as a woman, they would tear into me until they discovered my secret, and then would 'other' me out of my rewards for excelling.

So, lessons learned, and I am just grateful I didn't connect my present life with my past life, and have them tear down the legends I created back then. I was a woman outdoing men at what men do, if they knew this, they would other me out of existence, and tear down the edifices that still stand in memorium of the man they believe passed away honorably many years ago. I am very proud of my staged death, it was brilliant in conception, and even more brilliant in execution. They have a man's man to admire still, even in death. I won't take that away from them, lol.

Missy

[Georgette]

Open or Closed Narrative, slip ups, stealth or not.

I think in this age of the Internet, If you are of an older age that would be very difficult.

Since I transitioned at an earlier age and before the Internet.  People would be hard pressed to find much of my previous history.  Using my dead name, They will see my new name and some might be able to piece things together.

As far as slip-ups, I have done that in the past.  In a club and mentioned to some guy that I was in US Navy.  He asked if I was in the WAVES, and I quickly said yes and changed subject.

After my job where I transitioned, I changed my resume to be vague on US Navy time.

[MissGendered]

Open or Closed Narrative, slip ups, stealth or not.

I think in this age of the Internet, If you are of an older age that would be very difficult.

My old name has almost faded away completely on the net, the first couple of pages of any search engine results are unrelated to me in any way. The results used to be many, many pages deep, with lots of photos, too.

My current name brings up nothing.

I was doing a deal over the phone with a guy that knew me before, and he didn't know me now, of course, but he asked me if I was in witness protection. I asked why, and he said because he had been looking into me, but I was 'a ghost', lol..

I run a tight ship.

Missy

[Georgette]

My current name brings up pages and pages of stuff about me.

I even went and changed some past names like school listings and even some Navy stuff.

Don't think true stealth can be had.

[Sophia Sage]

Just using my legal name, I didn't get any hits on the first three pages, and then I stopped looking... there were a lot of obits, actually.  So many other people share my name.  Or used to.  No photos show up, either -- I'm so glad I've never posted photos of myself online.  Looking up someone I transitioned with back in the day -- got one photo, and no mention of her past, just one of her current interests.  Others friends, I get only their recent business references on google, and one who used to post regularly back in the day under a pseudonym, well, even that pseudonym is pretty much dead in the search engine now. 

Importantly, perhaps, none of us maintained any professional links (or much of any kind of link, really) to our pasts; we all moved on to new careers. 

So I still think it's possible to effectively maintain a closed narrative and practice non-disclosure (really, it's not "stealth" and I don't think it helps to refer to it that way, despite that common shorthand).  It kind of depends on how you live your life, and what you're willing (or not) to give up. While it's always possible for narratives to inadvertently be opened, I'd still be inclined to call this "bad luck" and not really a refutation of practicing non-disclosure, any more than the possibility (and widespread prevalence) of an automobile accident is going to get me to stop driving my car. 

[MissGendered]

Importantly, perhaps, none of us maintained any professional links (or much of any kind of link, really) to our pasts; we all moved on to new careers.

It kind of depends on how you live your life, and what you're willing (or not) to give up.

Exactly!

I am one move and name change away from being completely airtight. I already know my destination, new name and what is involved. Still have some details to handle first, but no hurry, even soft stealth provides me with all the practical privacy I require.

They used to say that if god wanted us to fly, he'd have given us wings. Nowadays, well, you know...

It is all about priorities and discipline and commitment.

Missy