Female to... what? Transition.

[Cailan Jerika]

For many years, the literal translation of hermaphrodite - both sexes - has appealed to me. I dismissed it as an impossible fantasy for most of my life, but when I discovered it is physically possible for a woman to transition to a nearly hermaphroditic condition (simple release metoidioplasty) which includes a fully functional vagina and reproductive organs, and a mostly functional if very small penis.

I have been working on an acronym that represents the transition I seek. I'm not FtM. I want to gain physical maleness without giving up my femininity.

After some thought, I consider myself to be FtH - female to hermaphrodite.

However, I was told recently "hermaphrodite" is considered a pejorative in certain parts of the trans community, which I have not heard of. Yet it is the word I most identify with, and strive to be. Not agender, neutrois/neutral or androgynous but BOTH genders, distinctly. Non-binary is too generic and has too many meanings. I don't ever want to be perceived as androgynous. I want to be perceived as either male OR female, but never something in between.

Also, I recognize that many transmen have this very same procedure and consider themselves to be men, and might be insulted by my describing the results as being a hermaphrodite. Though a major difference is that I intend to keep my breasts, though in a smaller form; a D cup instead of my current H cup, and would bind when I wish to present as male (primary presentation I expect to remain female).

I also recognize the word "intersex" is pretty well claimed by those born with the condition, which I am of the understanding doesn't really mean both, but rather indeterminate, so I don't consider it to be a description of who I am inside, and what my body to reflect.

[jgravitt01]

Well I will say that you hav e definitely put a lot of thought into  your post. If that is how you feel you identify then why not go with it.
There are alot of words society has deemed inappropriate or ugly. The "F" word is one of those but it can be used so  .  Many ways and have so many meanings that it's a perfect example. Maybe your the person to change that "ugly" word into a definition that is accepted at some point.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

[Dena]

Two thoughts come to mind. The first would be "FT?" and the second FTB with B standing for both.

[MissGendered]

Interesting, very interesting, indeed...

It is so very fascinating how within the gender-variant community, there exists, side-by-side, those that despise their particular birth status and those that would gladly exchange their own to possess that which is despised by another.

I was born xx intersex, and have been diagnosed as hermaphroditic, and nothing would make me happier than to have been born neither, but just a normal baby girl. That which I am seeking to 'correct', is very much that which you are seeking to embrace, if I read you rightly. Is it no wonder there are sometimes moments of friction within our community? ;-)

It was very conceivable that I could have had my vagina re-opened, without losing my very enlarged clitoris. Dr. Reed, in Miami, suggested he could make that a reality for me, if I had so desired. It is also true that had my parents not sought to 'normalize' me as a 'male', I would have lived my life as a fertile woman, but with a clitoris capable of penetrating and giving pleasure.

Ironic, no?

But, all that aside, there remains your question as to how to self-identify going forward with your journey...

Yes, intersex is usually reserved for those born with tissues that are perceived as male and female, concurrently. I am loathe to be identified as such, for whatever reason, and identify solely by my gender identity, which is female.

And, yes, the term hermaphrodite is usually reserved for those born that way, and it overlaps with intersex, but the additional downside is that it can also be seen as pejorative. I know I recoil from being described as a hermaphrodite, but hey, that's me.

I am trying to wrap my head around your question, and help you find a useful answer. There certainly must be a way to describe yourself and your journey that will satisfy both your need to define yourself, and to make who you are plain to others when you share your self-description.

I'll get back to you when I have something, hopefully somebody else will have an epiphany soon, instead, lol.

Tough question, oh my!

Good luck!!

Missy

[sigsi]

First, I say to go with what you feel. Other's viewpoints do not matter in the long run with how you view yourself, so if you feel female-to-hermaphrodite suits you best then stick with it.

Otherwise, the first things that came to mind while I was reading your post was "bigender" or "gender fluid". I think these technically may fall under a gender-queer umbrella of sorts.
I linked the Aven Lexicon http://wiki.asexuality.org/Lexicon as that is what helped me when figuring out terms a couple of years ago. Then there is always google as well

Best of luck, and stick with the terms that you are the most comfortable with.

[MissGendered]

Hmmm, I have been thinking a lot more about your dilemma...

And I guess I need some clarification on some points in particular.

Is the term you seek meant to be a reflection of your gender identity?  Or your emerging physicality? Or both, all wrapped up in one descriptor?

Missy

[Cailan Jerika]

I already know I'm bi-gender. I'm looking for a term to encompass the physical body transition, from all girl to elements of both.

[MissGendered]

I already know I'm bi-gender. I'm looking for a term to encompass the physical body transition, from all girl to elements of both.

Thank you..

Then the term Ambisexual may be something to consider..

Perhaps Female to Ambisexual is a bit clunky, but simply saying you are a "Bi-gender Ambisexual" might possibly cover everything?

Of course, ambisexual could easily be mistaken for a synonym for bisexual, too...hmm...

Maybe 'Duo-sexual' makes more sense, at least it is more literal and therefore perhaps almost self-explanatory?

A Female to Dual-sexual transitioner? Or female to dual-sex?

Female to Dualgyne? Or Duogyne.

Yeah, FtD, Female to Duogyne, I think Duogyne sounds best to the ear, but hey, its about what you think suits you best!

Dang, I just Google 'Duogyne', and there isn't anything there, did I just invent a new word for a 'synthetic hermaphrodite'? Hmm, cool! Whether you use it, or not, I really do like it. Thanks for prompting the thought process, very cool! Yay!

Hmm, I may have just inadvertently invented two things, lol, the word 'duogyne', for you, AND the term 'synthetic hermaphrodite', which actually describes my pre-natal and early life journey as well, or better, than your desired outcome. But it does have the added 'bonus' of being something of a potential, double pejorative, ha! Fun, fun, fun!

Ain't English grate? ;-)

Thank you again for your post, your question has lead me into not only delving into matters of language, but into delving more deeply into my own self-concept and physical realities. :-)

Okay, off to bed for me, I can let it rest now..

Missy

[east]

There is a generic term for transitioning people who were assigned female at birth but don't identify (entirely or at all) as male: FtX. I think it may sort of match what you are describing. I've mostly seen it in the nonbinary community.

[Devlyn]

I already know I'm bi-gender. I'm looking for a term to encompass the physical body transition, from all girl to elements of both.

Sometimes you have to resist the label and just be "you". 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Cailan Jerika]

There is a generic term for transitioning people who were assigned female at birth but don't identify (entirely or at all) as male: FtX. I think it may sort of match what you are describing. I've mostly seen it in the nonbinary community.

FtX usually refers to those who are going androgynous, and usually refers to social/presentation change, not surgical change. I am not doing that.

Sometimes you have to resist the label and just be "you". 

Hugs, Devlyn

I have found that labels are comforting. For some people labels are something to avoid. For me, I need a word that describes me, one that I am comfortable with, and is easily understandable without having to explain it.

This is why I still am leaning toward "Female to hermaphrodite." If people can retake "queer" to give it a new meaning, which I find to be terribly insulting, I can retake hermaphrodite. The intersex folks don't want it!

[MissGendered]

FtX usually refers to those who are going androgynous, and usually refers to social/presentation change, not surgical change. I am not doing that.

I have found that labels are comforting. For some people labels are something to avoid. For me, I need a word that describes me, one that I am comfortable with, and is easily understandable without having to explain it.

This is why I still am leaning toward "Female to hermaphrodite." If people can retake "queer" to give it a new meaning, which I find to be terribly insulting, I can retake hermaphrodite. The intersex folks don't want it!

Of course, it is your choice what you call yourself. Certain people use the N-word, right? No harm there, right?

Or 'queer', some use that word, despite the fact that millions have been traumatized by it, so yeah, no harm there, right?

And, being born an actual hermaphrodite, with both male and female tissues, who cares what I think about the terms you choose to appropriate? No harm there, either, right?

Words have power. With power, comes responsibility.

Sometimes the things we choose to say about ourselves say more than we realize.

Missy

[Cailan Jerika]

Of course, it is your choice what you call yourself. Certain people use the N-word, right? No harm there, right?

Or 'queer', some use that word, despite the fact that millions have been traumatized by it, so yeah, no harm there, right?

And, being born an actual hermaphrodite, with both male and female tissues, who cares what I think about the terms you choose to appropriate? No harm there, either, right?

Words have power. With power, comes responsibility.

Sometimes the things we choose to say about ourselves say more than we realize.

Missy

By that logic, transmen should not be called men, and transwomen should not be called women. They weren't born with the parts.

Also, within the black community, the N-word is being "normalized" among themselves. I'm not using the N-word about them. They are. If they want to call themselves and each other that, then that's their business. They are retaking the word to give it a new meaning.

I am not applying the word to others. I am applying it to myself, as in that's the surgical step I want to take, using the classical meaning, which was the only one I was aware of until last week.

[MissGendered]

By that logic, transmen should not be called men, and transwomen should not be called women. They weren't born with the parts.

Transmen and transwomen are transmen and transwomen. If anybody has a gender identity of male, or female, we appropriately address them as men and women. And, generally speaking, neither the term man nor woman are seen as offensive or pejorative.

Hermaphrodite is not a term that denotes gender identity, it is an antiquated physical description of somebody born with male and female tissues, and is perceived as a pejorative term by those that were born such. Its use has been rejected because it is hurtful to those that are born that way.

You are engaging a false corollary.

In addition to employing bad logic, you seem to be willing to employ a hurtful term for your own convenience. And it is not even an accurate reflection of your physicality. No matter how many surgeries you have, nor how much T you ingest, you cannot go back in time, and be born with male and female anatomy, retroactively..

It seems to me, that your needs would be better served with a NEW term, one that reflects your truth clearly, and accurately, but without alienating, nor offending, others in the gender-variant community.

But, again, you have free will, and your choices are yours to make, as are the consequences yours to inherit...

[east]

FtX usually refers to those who are going androgynous, and usually refers to social/presentation change, not surgical change. I am not doing that.

I have found that labels are comforting. For some people labels are something to avoid. For me, I need a word that describes me, one that I am comfortable with, and is easily understandable without having to explain it.

FtX (and MtX) usually encompasses all aspects of transition, as do MtF and FtM. Whether it's any or all of social, hormonal or surgical transition–as you may already know, there is a variety of steps trans people may or may not want to take. For instance, I am agender, on T, and plan to have surgery, and the label FtX fits. I am also not androgynous, and not trying to be androgynous at all, though some may want to be.

But of course, you're the only one who can decide what words to use to describe yourself. If you feel this isn't the right term for you, then you're free to come up with a better one (preferably one that isn't hurtful or offensive). If it's new, eventually you'll have to explain what it means anyway, even if it seems easily understandable. Within the trans and more generally LGBT+ community, there are many new and not-so new terms that not everyone knows or understands. "Hermaphrodite" I'm sure refers to intersex people as a medical condition that needs to be fixed, but I'm not the most informed on the intersex topic so I'll let those concerned discuss it.

[Benvolio]

Most intersex people don't identify with the word "hermaphrodite". A lot of people would go so far as to call it a slur. I think you should find a different word to describe yourself.

It seems like you've already made your mind up, though, and are just arguing with people who disagree with you.

[MissGendered]

Most intersex people don't identify with the word "hermaphrodite". A lot of people would go so far as to call it a slur. I think you should find a different word to describe yourself.

It seems like you've already made your mind up, though, and are just arguing with people who disagree with you.

Additionally, for someone not born with both male and female tissues to appropriate the term hermaphrodite, such as I was, calling one's self an hermaphrodite is actually analogous to a white person with a deep tan appropriating the N-word to describe themselves. There are multiple pathways employable to reach the clear and obvious conclusion that neither situation will be seen as socially acceptable. It only takes one pathway to suffice, though...

Missy

[josie76]

Sorry to sidetrack the thread but Missy, I thought about why you have been ostracized from some of the trans communities. I believe it is jealousy. Many of us hope there is physically evidence that can be found to point to as why we are as we are. A medical proof if you will, to show to family and friends to get understanding and validation. Being trans is still so misunderstood and stigmatized. There is plenty of medical studies on the formation of structures in the brain but that cannot be shown to others. Having a genetic test showing you are what you say you are takes the pressure to prove you're not mentally defective away. That's why some are so exclusively biased against others. Sad but true.

[MissGendered]

Sorry to sidetrack the thread but Missy, I thought about why you have been ostracized from some of the trans communities. I believe it is jealousy. Many of us hope there is physically evidence that can be found to point to as why we are as we are. A medical proof if you will, to show to family and friends to get understanding and validation. Being trans is still so misunderstood and stigmatized. There is plenty of medical studies on the formation of structures in the brain but that cannot be shown to others. Having a genetic test showing you are what you say you are takes the pressure to prove you're not mentally defective away. That's why some are so exclusively biased against others. Sad but true.

Hi Josie!

Well, I can tell you from experience, that having an intersex diagnosis did not exclude me from misunderstanding and stigmatization, though it did help me with my fundie sister, I doubt she would have been as accepting without it. But, in her defense, she now has a very good grasp on a wide variety of trans and same-sex perspectives. She 'believes' the one man, one woman dogma about marriage, yet says she has no problem with me marrying a woman. Now, that may be  because deep down, she still 'others' me, and sees me as something less than exactly female, but if so, she never, ever, ever seems to show that belief in any of our interactions. She has become a rock in my life.

I am beginning to think we gender-variant folk have been beaten down so long that we have internalized so much prejudice and self-loathing, that we miss the most fundamental empowerment we have, namely, the RIGHT to transition, if we so choose. Now that I am so much less troubled by my own emotional and psychological burdens, I am kinda embarrassed that I was so apologetic when I first came out. If I had it all to do over again, I would like to think I would have just told everybody to kiss off, I am going to transition because I WANT to transition, and nobody has a right to say squat about that fact. I would like to think that my conviction about my true gender would be enough to power me through, and the heck with anybody, and everybody that would stand in my way. Yes, I think the SOC is a very good way to suss out one's true feelings, but the medicalization of gender-variance has served to get us some insurance coverages, but at the same time, it has robbed us of our confidence and inborn right for self-determination.

I would have been better served to have been more direct about my identity, instead of pandering to the expectations and demands placed on me, both by myself, and the culture at large. Of course, I should have been honest with my spouse from the moment we met, so yeah, the shame and guilt of having hid myself from her, and the fear of losing her, also undermined my confidence. Having medical proof did help in some ways with her acceptance, but it did nothing to prevent the downward spiral that ensued after the truth became obvious.

I hope that all us gender-variant folk find the inner strength to just be who we are, and learn to stop looking for approval and outside validation. We must do what we must, because we must, but we have the right to be who we wish to be, regardless of any medical diagnosis. We are humans. We are free to be as we wish. And ultimately, it is only ourselves than can hold us back. Gender-variance is NOT a crime, and we should not let ourselves feel like criminals.

Missy