Dysphoria Relief = Mental, Social or Physical

[MikeP]

Great morning everyone,  I am pondering a path to take for relief of dysphoria or compulsive sensual issues in my life.

Just about to hit the big 60 and have had some sort of gender questioning since 1st grade ".  Now it is overwhelming my ability to concentrate on things I should be concentrating on in life way too much to ignore.   I decided to get help from a gender councilor and see if I could sort things out and things are becoming clearer each session but also the way of relief or the path seems to be getting broader all the time.  Everyone is different!

Growing up I had physical issues with unwanted erections and a lot of masturbation at times and nobody to talk with because I felt odd and thought friends would label me gay.  Kept to myself for years.  Unwanted erections finally stopped around age 50.  I read about eunuchs in my teens and thought I was supposed to be one. 

Socially I was different because I was wearing panties as often as possible starting in the 2nd grade and hung with girls till about 7th grade. I was buying men's lingerie and would not wear a "typical" guys underwear.  Growing up in the 70,s it was not uncommon to buy pantie like underwear in the men,s dept.  Silk, lace, sheer the more feminine the better.  When they went out of style I started to buy underwear in the woman's dept and still do. 

Mentally I am typically male and have had a strong sexual drive and sensual thoughts are always there and most of them are embracing some sort of feminine desires or appriaction.  Even not without getting erections the thoughts are there. 

Question is,  do I get used to society not embracing dressing and accept my like for feminine clothes on a guy and wearing perfume etc.

Do I use HRT to reduce some of my sensual thoughts by lowering T

Do I pursue HRT with female hormones and see if I balance out.

Wondering which roads to take as my councilor is thinking I need to try something,  I am in a transcendent group now that meets weekly.  Thanks everyone for your help, always a pleasure reading your stories on how to navigate this. 

Huggs, Mike

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Mike.

My story is quite similar to yours, although I got married in my 40s.  Don't be confused by erections and erotic thoughts.  That may just be testosterone doing its thing.  And it could be your body's way of relieving dysphoria.

You mention underdressing, but not dressing in women's outer clothing.  I think it would be a good thing to try that, even if it is only at home.  That was what convinced me that there was more going on than erotic fantasies.  Yes, they were there (just T doing its thing), but it felt good and "right" wearing a skirt even without the fantasies.

For a long time before I seriously considered transitioning, I thought that, if a person could choose their sexual orientation, I would choose lesbian.  Well, duh, the answer should have been obvious at that point, but I continued to think that 2+2=5 for a while.

But, by the time I was ready to do something about it, it was clear to me that I needed transition or bust (pun not intended, but appreciated  ).  So I went into the therapist's office asking how to go about it.

That is my experience, and yours is likely to be different.  All I can give you is my experience; I can't tell you what you should do.  But your story sounds a lot like mine, so perhaps mine will help.

[Karen]

I am at an earlier place in my journey.

My dam broke open, finally figured out it was a gender issue, told my wife, started therapy, diagnosed with severe gender dysphoria, and started antiandrogens and anti anxiety meds....it has made a big difference in my well being and ability manage this journey.

Hope this helps.

Karen

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Mike

I have crossdressed and bodyshaved all my adult life and because the GD became so dominant, I was forced to take action by seeking therapy last year aged 62 and then HRT for the last 7 months. However I have few sensual thoughts and I describe myself as asexual with minor lesbian tendencies.

My advice to your questions is:

1. Try to ignore what society dictates. Wear what you wish. I suggest full female dressing in the house and see how you feel. It has always felt right to me!

2. I feel it would be wise if counsellor approves to start blocking T with an AA.

3. Probably female hormones in the future if your counsellor agrees, but I think for the present if would be better to just follow 1. & 2.

I hope you secure resolution whichever option(s) you choose.

Hugs

Pamela