Would a doctor lie to you?

[KathyLauren]

how can a majority not know your trans, but a small minority does? Does it mean that person dosnt pass?

Like gender itself, "passing" is not binary.  If 2% of the people clock you and 98% don't, your passing is 98%.  Nothing in life is 100% except death and taxes.

[MissGendered]

Hey babe!

A doctor, just like any person, might tell you something you needed to hear rather than the absolute, most detailed facts. That said, I think your doctor was being truthful...

Now, the bigger question, is why do some people feel the need to try to spot the trans girl?

Well, first off, we have to realize that a lot of cis women are mis-gendered, accidentally, or with bad intent, also. These days, with sooooo much trans stuff all over the news, some people think it their duty to sort out the masses, this one is a man, this one is a girl, this one is a muslim, this one is gay, this one is liberal, this one is a whatever. People can be very insecure within themselves, and feel the need to classify us as one of theirs, or something 'other'...

I have big hands, big feet, and am usually the tallest person in the room, I need a type III forehead reconstruction, I have a strong jaw, a square chin, and broad shoulders, no hips or butt...

But I pass without exception in my day to day life. On very rare occasion, somebody will look at me sideways, but when I speak to them, I can see their 'oh, ok, not trans' thought run across their face. Had I reacted with an 'oh, dang, they KNOW', that would have run across MY face, and they would feel confirmed in their 'suspicion'.

In pictures, I know my limits, in real life, I can rise above them by just being a woman. I am not gender-variant in my dress, movement, voice, or demeanor. No matter what anybody may think, if I am NOT that, they will move on, and try to find another person to judge.

I have very mixed feelings about celebrity trans people. I am sure they are good for those that come after, but they have robbed those of us that came before of our easy anonymity. Trans people with privilege and fame and money and social acceptance seem to be exploiting their trans-status, to the detriment of those that only want to live as if they weren't any different from any other person.

I can't really say what might be getting you clocked when it happens, but I do know that some people float a guess and see what happens. How we react will make all the difference, reagardless..

Sorry this is troubling you. You are clearly a gorgeous woman!

Missy

[Iliana.Found]

i still feel insecure because there are times when someone clocks me. What does it mean when a lot of people think your female and not know, but a few clock you?

I remember one time a guy was interested in me. He was referring to me in female pronouns, treating me like a lady, and all that good stuff. When I felt like he was getting serious feelings, I told him that I was trans and he said he knew. I asked how and he said because he was in the military and has been to cities in countries with a high number of trans women. He said I was attractive and had a great personality which he felt to be more important than trans or cis. From how he was treating me, I would never have known that he knew unless I asked him, which I did.

I think it has to do with experience or exposure. So even though someone may ma'am you, treat you like a lady, and all the stuff we deserve, because we are women after all, it doesn't mean they didn't clock you( I mean you in a general sense). It may just mean they don't care and can see past the whole "trans" thing which I think is better than being clocked or not Just my 2 cents. I'll take acceptance anyday over being clocked or not 

[Angélique LaCava]

I remember one time a guy was interested in me. He was referring to me in female pronouns, treating me like a lady, and all that good stuff. When I felt like he was getting serious feelings, I told him that I was trans and he said he knew. I asked how and he said because he was in the military and has been to cities in countries with a high number of trans women. He said I was attractive and had a great personality which he felt to be more important than trans or cis. From how he was treating me, I would never have known that he knew unless I asked him, which I did.

I think it has to do with experience or exposure. So even though someone may ma'am you, treat you like a lady, and all the stuff we deserve, because we are women after all, it doesn't mean they didn't clock you( I mean you in a general sense). It may just mean they don't care and can see past the whole "trans" thing which I think is better than being clocked or not Just my 2 cents. I'll take acceptance anyday over being clocked or not 

my ex told me he noticed people looking at me one time when we went to Mississippi and he said that it was the first time that's ever happened. He thought they knew I was trans by the way they was looking so I asked him if he really thought I looked female and he said yea that he wouldn't be dating me if I didn't, he then said that they probably knew transgenders and knew what to look for to spot one.

[Iliana.Found]

my ex told me he noticed people looking at me one time when we went to Mississippi and he said that it was the first time that's ever happened. He thought they knew I was trans by the way they was looking so I asked him if he really thought I looked female and he said yea that he wouldn't be dating me if I didn't lol, he then said that they probably knew transgenders and knew what to look for to spot one.

I've seen some of the pics that you have posted here and you are very pretty And I honestly think that you look female. If I was staring at you on the street it would be because you look attractive. But that's one opinion. You never know what others think so there's really no point in trying to read their minds, unless you actually can  I'm always told that women are stared at because there is some kind of invisible set of laws of attraction and appearance that we must adhere to. That we have to compete with all other women in all manners therefore just turning us into objects to be stared at and compared. Hence all of the staring, maybe. Or they see something not common in other women and decide to stare more to "investigate" lol At the end of the day your beautiful and take it as they are staring because you are attractive unless they do something that is obviously because you've been clocked

[MissGendered]

he then said that they probably knew transgenders and knew what to look for to spot one.

One of the negative aspects to all the transitions being celebrated on You Tube and TV is that the general population is now being educated about which features to look for while out 'trans-spotting'..

When I was early in my transition, I had a guy on a dating website message me with a hateful message, declaring that with shoulders as wide as mine, and that jaw, and forehead, I was just another dude trying to trick men into sex. I was devastated, of course, heck, I don't even have a Y chromosome, but his trans-hate was so intense, he felt it was his duty to assail me with his 'judgement'. The last time I was on a dating site, I had no such problems, none. My guess was that the way I wrote my profile was more lady-like, and my physical changes sufficient, that nobody felt so sure that I was not a 'normal' woman.

I don't do anything online anymore. One guy asked me the last time I was doing online stuff "why would a woman as gorgeous as you are have to use online dating to find a man?". That made me rethink my approach entirely, I realized he had a point, and that my insecurities were bigger than my reality. I hope to build up a better real life situation this year that makes the chances of meeting a good man better than ever. But, things like that take time, so I guess it's a good thing I have toys and dilators to keep me company until warm weather returns and I can get back into skirts and sandals, crop tops and halters, lol...

You are gorgeous, sweetie. Just sayin'..

Missy

[alex82]

I'd have thought that openly lying to a patient would be against the first principle of 'do no harm'.