Talked to the wife

[scoot62]

On Sunday I told my wife I was looking for a gender therapist to talk to. She knew I had been talking to a therapist last fall on Talkspace and asked if this was related and I told her it's ongoing I just need a more specialized approach. She hadn't known that gender therapist even existed lol.

It took a while to explain the differences between gender and sexual inclination. We had a long talk about years of internal pain and ideas the other therapist had about ways to express my feelings without going public. I've been distant over the past year or so and she said she feared I was having an affair. I assured her that's not the case and that I love her so much.

She had been in therapy a long time. Just rediculous child abuse and two drunk abusive husbands before me gave her her own burden to carry. She spent ten years between her second husband and me in therapy getting herself straight. Seeing the tears streaming down my face and hearing me describe the internal pain she said she was totally committed to helping me.

Right away she suggested pedicures and a leg wax and buying some jewelry but I didn't want to rush things. Reading all the experiences on this site with you all and your significant others makes me believe that this has to be a gradual process. After we had talked and affirmed our love and commitment to stay together I was just in tears. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I was just so happy that she took it so well.

Having been with her for five years now I know that she isn't as totally on board with the transgender concept. It's a learning curve I'm sure for people who haven't lived it. The more I read about it, I feel I would identify as gender fluid I guess or non binary maybe? I don't know. There are so many terms and are used different ways by different people. I've been very happy as a man at points in my life and totally unhappy as well. That's a whole different discussion so let me wrap this up and get to work.

I just wanted to thank all you fine people for being so supportive and sharing your own experiences. Being a truck driver there isn't much time at home to spend on support groups etc so having this online group of peers to check in with has been a Godsend. All my love ❤️

Hope


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Floof]

That was a beautiful read, I'm so happy for you that your wife reacted so well. I'm sure there will be struggles along the way, but it seems like you have a very strong starting point. Absolutely find a gender therapist to talk through your situation with -that is the best starting point in my opinion..-, wish you all the best on your journey!

[KathyLauren]

Congratulations on sharing your progress with your wife.  That can be a very difficult thing to do.  I am happy for you that she is taking it well.  Taking it slow is wise.  It can take our spouses a while to catch up to stuff we have been dealing with (one way or another) all our lives.

[RobynD]

That is so awesome! A supportive loved one is a treasure.

[scoot62]

Thank you ladies. She said my tender heart is the thing she loves the most about me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MissGendered]

Thank you ladies. She said my tender heart is the thing she loves the most about me.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That is good news, Hope, good for you, and her!!

Yes, a gender therapist, that's the ticket!!

I am very happy for you, the road to our true selves can be long and rocky, hun, but sooo worth the troubles we face along the way, hang in there, and enjoy the ride...

((HUGS))

Missy

[scoot62]

That is good news, Hope, good for you, and her!!

Yes, a gender therapist, that's the ticket!!

I am very happy for you, the road to our true selves can be long and rocky, hun, but sooo worth the troubles we face along the way, hang in there, and enjoy the ride...

((HUGS))

Missy

Thankyou Missy! I'm like super excited but I don't want to rush my wife. (((Hugs back)))


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[kathb31]

That is so wonderful. I am very happy for you. I know when I came out
to my wife a year and half ago it was one of the most difficult things I've
ever done .. but she has been very loving and supportive. I feel very
fortunate and you seem to have the same kind of support

[jgravitt01]

Scoot,
Just an observation from my perspective. The fact that your wife spent time in therapy, learning to resolve her feelings and repair herself was a plus for you.
When you opened up and told her the pain and suffering you have dealt with for many years it reminded her of her own path.
She just wants to help you help yourself and accepts you for who you are.
Slowly take time to research and inform yourselves together going forward and it may help her accept the future and whats to come even easier. ( I envy your relationship and wish we all had understanding and supporting wives as you do)
The best of luck to both of you on this wonderful journey! - Jaime

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

[skirted]

My wife backs me up all the way. And if I went for SRS she would be by my side 100 per cent, and said she would not  would not leave me.

[jgravitt01]

My wife backs me up all the way. And if I went for SRS she would be by my side 100 per cent, and said she would not  would not leave me.

Congratulations Skirted, you are one of the lucky ones!- Jaime

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

[RachelH]

I've been very happy as a man at points in my life and totally unhappy as well.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

First of all, Congratulations!  This is a HUGE first step and one that I took this past summer.  Like you my wife was/is very supportive and your comment above is me to a T!  It's not that I am unhappy being a man, I am just soooo much happier as a woman, but I am at the beginning of a journey that actually started more than 45 years ago.

Keep the communication channels open with her and lean on your therapist and us.  Of course, everybody's situation is different and goes at a different pace so make sure you don't judge your timeline with anyone elses.
Hugs!!
Paula