Life after FFS - specifically the Facial Team

[vicki_sixx]

I'm curious to know if those who've had FFS were happy and looked like they expected to or whether reality was a letdown. I'm especially interested to hear from anyone who's been to the Facial Team as they pride themselves on their consultations - even touring the world - and provide 3-D virtual simulations of what you can expect to look like post-surgery. Did you look like your simlated image?

Thanks in advance.

[Sophia Sage]

I didn't go to Facial Team -- they weren't around when I got the full works done near the turn of the century.

Happy... isn't the right word.  Letdown certainly isn't.  These questions don't reflect the right paradigm for what it's like. My friend V calls it "the real sex-reassignment surgery."  For the vast majority of us, there's some ambiguity in our presentations, at least at the facial level.  That ambiguity goes away with FSRS.  The "lag time" it took someone to read me and gender me female disappeared -- which for me was on the order of losing a second or less, but still, I could tell I was now being gendered female automatically, subconsciously, on the part of people meeting me.  No makeup, barely any breasts, pretty tall, and still... suddenly people were clearer on who I was than I was.

For a good couple years afterwards, I kept expecting the bottom to fall out.  It never did. 

Now I'm not saying it's the end-all cure-all.  You gotta have your facial hair gone.  You've gotta have your voice down.  You've gotta be reasonably competent doing female culture.  But V is right -- it truly can be on the order of Sex Reassignment Surgery -- and yes, I'm using that term deliberately.  It isn't a confirmation.  It's about effecting an instant reassignment of who you are to the rest of the world.  Not instant after surgery -- it takes a good couple months to heal up from this -- but instant on the part of people gendering you. 

Happy... no.  It's earth-shattering.

[2cherry]

So far, I am happy with the results. 

Truth is, the "uglier" you are, the more drastic the results will be. But when you already pass most of the time, FFS can be a let down because the results can be so subtle that people don't even realize you have had FFS unless you point it out to them. If I would pass before FFS, I would never done FFS. Because the price you pay in risk, pain, annoyances can be tremendous.

It decreased my dysphoria to about 15% whereas before FFS it was about 70%. So I think that is a huge improvement. Even after FFS, I still have dysphoria and insecurities. Surgery doesn't solve internal struggles. So, when you wake up from surgery, you might find that you are still the same. Think the same, act the same, and you might not even notice the difference when you look in the mirror at first. But when taking pictures, it all becomes evident that you changed.

Yes, I think FFS is most important, next to electrolysis and hormones which are important as well. It's the whole package that seals the deal.

[MeghanMe]

That's an amazing response, Sophia. Would you mind elaborating on what you mean by 'female culture?'

[Sophia Sage]

That's an amazing response, Sophia. Would you mind elaborating on what you mean by 'female culture?'

Culture is complicated.  It varies by location, age, ethnic group, subcultural enclave.  But, in general (meaning, of course, there are plenty of exceptions), here in the West, women and men tend to relate to other people differently. What we talk about and how we talk about it, how we respond to each other, how we listen, how close we get, what kinds of cultural references we get and use, the kinds of expectations we have for each other, and so on. 

The biggest one is simply that women are expected to be empathic, because women generally are empathic and practice empathy regularly. So be empathic, be aware of your emotional impact on other people, be aware of other peoples' emotional states (insofar as that can be reasonably inferred), and act accordingly.

Beyond that, get interested in something, anything, that women tend to be more interested in than men. 

[R R H]

I'm curious to know if those who've had FFS were happy and looked like they expected to or whether reality was a letdown. I'm especially interested to hear from anyone who's been to the Facial Team as they pride themselves on their consultations - even touring the world - and provide 3-D virtual simulations of what you can expect to look like post-surgery. Did you look like your simlated image?

Thanks in advance.

Argh. Lost a long reply.

I think Dr Sutin at PAI did a superb job on me. I'm usually self-critical esp. about my face but I'm blown away by what he has done. I do think he's an outstanding aesthetic surgeon. Once all the swelling has properly reduced and I'm fully back on track I will post a full before and after report.

I had 4 consultations: Facial Team (online), Dr Rossi (online), Dr Bart van der Ven (in person) and with Dr Sutin at PAI (in person).

[vicki_sixx]

I get clocked by everyone I meet. The only way I pass is if I am several feet away and the person isn't paying close attention. I'm pretty sure that FFS would make me 100% passable. Of course, this would require getting everything done. I first looked into it just to get my jaw trimmed and my nose feminised but the key to being convincing isn't just the obvious areas such as these but those we only subconscously note - such as angle of the eyes, the distance between the top lip and the nose - so I'd have to have it all done: brow shave, chin reduction, cheek implant, eye tilt, jaw trimming, eyebrows lifted, top lip lift etc. Then there's hips and bum enhancement on top of that!

It decreased my dysphoria to about 15% whereas before FFS it was about 70%. So I think that is a huge improvement. Even after FFS, I still have dysphoria and insecurities. Surgery doesn't solve internal struggles. So, when you wake up from surgery, you might find that you are still the same.

Can you expand on what you mean? I assume you had FFS because you felt like a woman so if you now look like a woman after al that surgery then where is the dysphoria? Do you mean you still have moments where you feel yo're a man?

Thanks.

[Debra]

Talk to me in a year lol. I can't believe how long it's taking to heal.

Right away I've been happy with my profile. The brow ridge is gone woohoo!

But the frontal swelling is just so hard to ignore. Nose, cheeks, forehead, etc. My eyes are drowning in the swelling and my eyes are one of my favorite features of myself so it's difficult.

[vicki_sixx]

My biggest fear is erve damage and looking like I've had a stroke as a result. Does anyone know the percentage risk of this happening during any kind of FFS?

[Mirya]

My biggest fear is erve damage and looking like I've had a stroke as a result. Does anyone know the percentage risk of this happening during any kind of FFS?

You're not going to find any kind of data related to percentages when it comes to FFS results, because nobody tracks that information (or any kind of FFS aggregate data really).  But as long as you go to a well-known surgeon who has been doing FFS on a regular basis for many years, you're very likely to have a good result.  IMO most surgical mistakes happen early in a surgeon's career, whether that's as an FFS surgeon, a heart surgeon, or any other kind of surgeon.

[anjaq]

My impression is that nerve damage is quite common, but almost always only affects the sensory nerves. So maybe some numb areas or areas with changed sensation. motor nerve damage is very very rare with the skilled and well known surgeons

[deeiche]

Fifteen months post surgery and the top of my head is still numb within an inch or two of the coronal incision.  Hopefully my nerve endings will recover.  I injured my left hand while wrenching on a car in my teens, it was at least 5 years before feeling returned to all my fingers.

Just don't fall into a parody of some female "standard" based upon norms defined by a male dominant culture.  There are lots of strong women who aren't empathetic, society tends to call them bitches.  We all want to be accepted by society as the gender we know we are.  That does not mean you have to stop doing activities that are "normally" associated with males.

This perspective comes from being 58 and having spent almost my entire adult life as female.

[anjaq]

Fifteen months post surgery and the top of my head is still numb within an inch or two of the coronal incision.  Hopefully my nerve endings will recover.  I injured my left hand while wrenching on a car in my teens, it was at least 5 years before feeling returned to all my fingers.

That sounds not that great. 15 months is a long time. I was told that if it is not back after 1 year, the chances drop that it will fully recover, although partial recovers is still possible. Did it not improve at all yet or is there just some parts left numb? What did you do to promote healing? I hear massages can be helpful as well as some dietary supplements and a good hormone regimen - what HRT are you doing (no dosages! just what kind of hormones, antiandrogens,...)?

[Mariah]

 
Locked at least for cleanup and review.