I want a boyfriend but...

[Annaiyah]

I want a boyfriend but...
Only after i've had my SRS
Only if he likes me for the girl i am, not because i'm trans
I'm scared he'll kill me, even if he says he okay with me being trans
Knowing how straight guys are with being "tricked" by trans girls scare me
The thought of being at some guy's house for the first time also scare me
Not if he's one of those down-low guys who only wants to be with me behind closed doors
Not if he sees me as some sort of sexual fetish




This is why i hate being trans...

[AshleyUSMC]

I know how that feels! I want a boyfriend but only after my srs because I literally cant do it in the back door, unpleasant. and at the same time im sooo freaked out at what if after srs, my vagina doesn't look aesthetically correct and he clocks me and he kills me! Scary stuff, especially when I just want to go stealth for the rest of my life.

[julia-madrid]

Hi Annaiyah

There's no need to hate being trans, honey:  we were given some extremely special cards to play, and like any card game, your success depends on how you play.  And that's a general comment about life, as well as love.

As for the guys, there are all types.  I'd agree that things could be easier after SRS, but they could also be interesting and fulfilling before SRS as well.  It's depends on the guy.  Not all of them are women-beaters, and some are up for accompanying you on your journey and sticking around afterwards.

What makes me say this?  I have a friend - young and cute.  When he heard that I was transitioning, he was both a friend and a friend "with benefits".  And he was there both before and after, and it allowed me (and him) to explore, and for me to avoid being a nun for 8 months.  Girl, it did wonders for my ego, and it was fun.

Best regards
Julia

[Floof]

For my part I don't think I could pursue intimacy with someone if they didn't know I was trans, even if in my future I am highly passable, have my genitals and all. Feels just too risky, and I have the 'trap' jokes of some of my male associates and the awful news stories one sometimes reads about 'panic murders' in mind when I say so. There are plenty of open minded and accepting men out there who are not bothered by our past and will still love us for who we are.

My last relationship was 6 years ago, and it was with a man who I later found out very much had a thing for non-passing and awkward trans women that were only just starting to transition.. And I was absolutely devastated and completely turned off him when I found out I was basically his fetish. He tried to argue it should make me feel attractive and desirable, but I absolutely did not take it that way! I don't want to be this awkward middle ground forever, and I wonder still if he would have stayed with me as I progressed with HRT and surgery. About a year after breaking it off I discovered he was with a new trans woman also very early in her transition, so that clearly is his type.

Now I too will do my best to be patient and wait until after my SRS to date again.. And after HRT has made a proper change for me, and after I have had any other surgeries I may end up wanting/needing. I've been on my own for 6 years, should be able to handle another 1 or 2! And I'm kind of done with guys.. Bad experiences, I most definitely want a woman next time.