i'm so done! what should i do?

[burnxd]

  I'm so sick of these gender idenity issues i've been having for the past 5 years i wanna blow my head off because this is too hard to deal with. I feel that i'm trans but now i'm starting to dout myself. How can i confirm that i'm transgender? What do i need to do? I want to know for sure that i don't believe in a lie. It might seem ridiculous but i don't know if i'm trans anymore because when i was 5 years old, i didn't like the pink ranger in power rangers and i know that sounds really stupid but my mind over complicates things. i have too much to think. and i over think, but this is starting to bother me. Maybe i was never feminine. But then i think again and i noticed that i have bad disphoria. Like, i will never cut my hair in my life again. I don't want to look masculine. This keeps messing with me and i don't know if i should transition or not. But wanna get rid of this confusion. I've literally have been going threw this every since puberty.






btw, im new to this fourm so i don't really know how to use it yet.

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. It's not so much are you transgender because you are. The question is what flavor and what to do about it. The best place to start is to see a gender therapist. The are trained in diagnosing and helping you explore your feelings. I have a couple of links you might find useful while you are waiting to see a therapist. The first is our WIKI where you will learn the terms that describe ->-bleeped-<-. The second is "the transition channel" 🔗 [Link: youtube.com/channel/UCfO3B57E6NpIn-​KsVjvmLLw/] where a gender therapist will go over some questions that will help you understand yourself better. It's past my bed time right now but if you leave any questions you have on this thread, I will address them tomorrow.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

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[Amanda_Combs]

I can really relate to feeling so crazy! Please try to relax, though.  Your dysphoria means you definitely have a problem to address; so do whatever will make you happy.  But here's the part that totally blew me away... cis people don't think about their gender.  They don't wonder about it every day, they don't have it nag at them all day, it's not the first thing they think about in the morning and they don't feel sad/uncomfortable about it.  You know you are dysphoric, and now you have the choice of what you want to do to be happier.  And You've found a really great place for support and advice.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Raell]

Dena and Amanda are right. If you question your gender at all, or feel discomfort with your assigned gender role, you are technically transgender.

There are many variations, as Dena also said. I'm not even transitioning, since I'm a nonbinary, partial transmale.

I could qualify for many labels, depending on which definition one prefers.
I am also what some might call asexual, gray demisexual, gender fluid, androgyne, agender, bigender, panromantic, etc., but really that just means that I'm close to the middle of the gender sliding scale, tipped somewhat toward the male side, and without a strong affinity for either side. I suppose the asexual part comes from my gender sides cancelling each other out.

[jgravitt01]

I will only add one thing to whats already been stated above. Make sure it is a ("gender therapist").
A normal run of the mill therapist is not what your looking for.
I searched for trans friendly therapist in order to find the proper type in my state of Minnesota.


-Jaime

[Hope springs]

  If you were to watch a movie of my childhood, you would say im 1,000% boy. I started HRT yesterday. Having similar interests to girls can help clarify if your trans but its not required. My little daughter loves dresses, and will wear them to climb trees and play nerf guns with the boys.
    Dont judge, just be honest with yourself and roll with it.

[JoanneB]

"How can you confirm you are transgender?"

Well... If you are asking you are.

Now... The HARD Part. Where on the spectrum between cis-male and cis-female are you? The answer is only valid for the next 24..... minutes maybe?

[boheme]

My, does your story sounds familiar...

I knew that there was something wrong as soon as puberty started. I 'put up with it' throughout my teenage years, blissly naïve that such a thing as trans people existed, then 'tried to be a man' for the next decade, by that stage realising that as comfortable as I was presenting as my 'guy self' (having known nothing else), that the feeling of my body being 'wrong' was never going to go away.

Even after 6 months of therapy and doctors appointments to get a referral for HRT, I *still* didn't know whether I was 'really' trans. Indeed, nowadays, I wonder if there is such a thing -- many people have such different experiences.

But within a week of starting hormones, feeling 'alive' for the first time in almost twenty years, I knew one thing with absolute certainty -- I never wanted to have testosterone running rampant around my body again!

So to answer your question, what should you do? Easy -- find out what the process is to start HRT where you live, and take the first step! You don't need to tell anyone, or starting presenting any differently; what medicines you take is noone else's business. Then, see how things are going -- do you feel better? If so, then carry on! If not, well then you stop! I know it doesn't seem like it when you're stressing out about things, but it really is that simple 🙂

[Deborah]

I used to vacillate between believing I was trans and then doubting it all.  The thing that finally settled the issue in my mind was HRT.  It was the only thing, and I had tried lots of things, that cleared the darkness from my mind.

Having settled that though I'm not sure I really fit anyone's stereotype. That used to bother me a little but not any more.  I spent decades forcing myself into a stereotype that didn't fit.  It would seem kind of dumb to free myself from one stereotype just to adopt another.  No.  I am simply me.


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote

[RobynD]

Asking if you are is the first huge flag and i agree hormones and the results from them, pretty much confirmed it for me.

[DawnOday]

Feeling feminine and being female are two different things. I promise you I do not have a feminine bone in my body. But in my head I am a female, always have been, always will be. I am working on it with my therapist. In fact taking estradiol has in some ways been a journey back to pre birth times. When I started it felt like something I had been missing was again available. The longer I am on it, the easier it is to adjust. In seven months I have not questioned my decision, am looking forward to spend the rest of my days, the way I was intended,

[Denise]

I hate piling on but I agree with every comment above.

In my case if there is a spectrum on how we feel I would be....

Male                        Mid                          Female
|-------------------------+----------------------------|
                                      ^
                                     Me

As of 03-March-2017 I'm presenting 100% female and I've never felt better.  I'm not into dresses, at least for now.  Pastels are not for me, flowery tops nope.  To me it's just what's above the waste below the clothes. 

Female pronouns - I'm still having trouble with them.  I'm assuming they will become easier. 

We are all different. 

What finally made me consider transitioning was "I was ready to blow my head off with envy/jealousy over other women."  I literally had a mental meltdown (I don't recommend it) and said - I have to transition, it's no longer in my hands.  Ever since that month of hell I've been a peace with myself and transitioning.