I wish I had someone to talk to

[kallaran]

About struggling with this and life in general though that is going off the rails.

I'd hate to bore anyone with long boring details and sounding like broken record.

[LizK]

About struggling with this and life in general though that is going off the rails.

I'd hate to bore anyone with long boring details and sounding like broken record.

Bore me.... I like broken records 

Liz

[JeanetteLW]

Hi Kalleran

  I'm Jeanette. I understand that wish. I have no one for me to talk to either. So I make up for it here at Susan's Place.
That is part of why the site is here. I encourage you to make use of it. I do.
   Pick a subject, type it in, and converse. It can and does help.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

[Amanda_Combs]

You're welcome to complain at me! [emoji16]. Go ahead and post it or send me a PM or something, I'll be glad to listen.  God knows I've been known to bend an ear before!


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[Raell]

I actually seem to like hearing people talking about their life challenges..I feel less alone, more like a fellow human.

That said, as a nontransitioning partial transmale, I might not have enough in common with most on this forum to be much of a comfort.

[Karrie]

Kallaran please feel free to converse here. Or as stated you can PM most any of us and we'd  be happy to chat or just listen. Life is tough enough without feeling alone with no ear to bend.

Karrie

[kallaran]

Since multiple people asked to listen , I guess I will just talk here. I mean I don't have anything to lose.

My life hasn't been a fun ride at all. I've struggled with trying to express myself for a very long time and it causes me undesirable sadness. But on top of that my life itself hasn't been great at all. I've struggled with things like school and unfortunately have no talents. I've honestly never been able to turn things around with school and it feels like it's too late or at least a hopeless situation for me currently. I haven't been too successful with jobs either unfortunately. It's hard to not call myself a failure at times and a lot of other things. If one sad thing isn't dragging me down then it's pretty much the other one bringing me down. I struggle to find motivation and to believe that something great could happen to me and that both my troubles can even disappear. Living with family isn't fun at all but it's unfortunately that I have to deal with and they are the most unaccepting people on the planet. An unfortunate outting has already happened in my life and the only thing that I received from it all was for it all to be forgotten after a long few years. I am extremely depressed and don't have drive to get out of the bed sometimes. I wish that I didn't bring myself down. How can I overcome two things that have been making me unhappy for me for the longest.

I hate to say it but I sometimes think that a tragic end would best for me but I am not quite to that point yet. I should talk to a doctor but honestly I don't have one and I don't have transportation or anything to get around. I fear getting outted again by the whole process and being homeless somewhere. There isn't a plan B for me or even a plan A. Having no family or friends in process would kill me the most.

[barbie]

I guess you are very depressed. How about joining some clubs for hobby.
Outdoor exercise can help it. I run alone and it relieves my depression.
My friend, who mostly lives alone, joined a club for cycling and mountain bicycle, socializing with other people. He always cycles in the weekends.

barbie~~

[Raell]

My observation is that people of mixed gender, or "non-cis," often have gender hormone clashes that cause depression, among other things.
Anyway, I've fought depression since it dawned on me I don't fit in with societal expectations. I didn't really know how I was different, but I knew I wasn't like my happily integrated siblings and friends.

I began getting panic attacks in my early 40s, so learned to take hormone-balancing herbs, eat fish etc. I also exercise outdoors, have many outdoor hobbies, keep pets, focus on things that make me happy, do a lot of reading, whatever keeps me from mulling over past failings.

None of my relationships lasted, but since I'm bigender/partial transmale, I can see why, since I was trying to play the role of a female.

The main thing is to find what makes you happy and think about and do only that.

[RachelH]

I do recommend finding a local thetrapist.  They can help with so much more than gender issues.  I talk to mine about my gender dysphiroia about half and the remaining on stuff. 

As far as a hobby goes, as silly as it may sound, try getting a fist tank.  Then take the time to learn about it and then try it.  Come up with a theme or something and try to recreate it.  When you are not "working" on it, simply watching is very relaxing!  I had a salt water system for years and they can get expensive so I recommend start with a fresh water and go from there.  Now, I am not talking about a small fish bowl, but a 20 gal tank at the smallest.  They can be enough work to keep you occupied but not so much as to so you don't enjoy it.  You can find good used ones without going to a pet store.  Find a local fish store and ask lots of questions....

Keep your head up and know you are NOT alone with the struggle even if family and friends don't understand or accept.  Talk away and vent all you want herer!!!!

[Amanda_Combs]

I would recommend going to a therapist.  It's pretty much a classic move to go to a therapist for your depression, but you of course tell the therapist how related it is to issues with your gender. 
Also, while you're depressed, self care becomes doubly important, even while you feel the least like doing it. That means eating as healthy as you can manage, as consistently as you can manage.  Be sure to go outside for a little bit every single day.  Getting enough sleep is important as well.  I know those things are just things everyone is supposed to do, but I know first hand how difficult it can become. 
Hobbies and activities can help a lot.  If you're feeling like you have no talents, you should choose anything you wouldn't mind practicing a lot.  Then just keep doing that.  The best way to become proficient at anything is to get tonnes of practice.  So I would recommend taking anything you like, whether you know anything about it or not, and keep at it for as long as you can on a daily basis.  For me, I do art, sometimes not very frequently or very well...I enjoy it, though.  You are in a hard place, but you have the greatest tool.  That is your desire to keep on and improve your situation.  That's why you're here.  I hope this helps.  We all want for you to be happy and be yourself.  And I hope you feel better! [emoji170]


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[AllisonFS]

I am in that same boat. That's the reason I'm (and I suspect most others) here in the first place. If we can't turn to each other for support, who can we turn to. If we can't talk to each other, who ARE we going to talk to? (I don't think the football coach would understand!  ) We HAVE to help and support one another because the world won't.

[MeTony]

Is there something creative you used to like or like today? Something you want to learn? In creative production your inner demons will stuck in your creations. Like paintings, music, clay, writing, dancing etc. I drew my demons on paper and that way got them out of my head. It helped me to beat depression.

If there is something you want to learn, go for it! Even if you feel you have no talents, I believe all people have a hidden talent, a rough diamond, that needs to be polished.

[kallaran]

 I haven't been around here much to post but I have to say that I am super sad right now. I wish that apart of me wasn't a weight on my shoulders.

[Jamie 65]

I am new to the page but would love to have friends that cross-dress.  I am able to dress in the evening and my wife supports me.  I have only been doing this for about 9 months.  Willing to be friend others

[Dena]

I am new to the page but would love to have friends that cross-dress.  I am able to dress in the evening and my wife supports me.  I have only been doing this for about 9 months.  Willing to be friend others

We are pretty thinly spread in the population so depending on where you live, there might not be a group near you. On the forum you might be able to make friends through PM and then Skype with somebody anywhere in the world. I did this when I was learning how to become a moderator and well over a year after that.