Susan's Place Logo

News:

According to Google Analytics 25,259,719 users made visits accounting for 140,758,117 Pageviews since December 2006

Main Menu

Any Trans Parents with Trans Children?

Started by Metanoia, March 03, 2017, 08:28:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Metanoia

Hi there,

I haven't posted in a while, but this one is bothering me...

I have a 5yo son who for the last couple months has been saying some intriguing things, including most recently that he likes dresses and wants to have one of his own.

I know dress ≠ trans and biopsychosocial ≠ genetic...

But I don't even wear dresses much, and have never around him. Maybe a skirt once or twice, but Im genderqueer so I wear whatever is clean, basically...

I'm intrigued. I've been taking low and slow e patch and spiro for 4 mo now, which has been successfully quelling my dysphoria...

But my son's revelations are starting to make it tingle again. I didn't start feeling my dysphoria until puberty, and I just wonder... If my son is feeling it earlier.

I'm not the only genetic relative he has that has had troubles with gender. So, there might be some credence to this idea of trans being slightly genetic...

I want to give him the freedom to express himself, but I also don't want to do this too fast for him. He might be just rationalizing what I'm doing with his own identity as a young child... I really don't know.

I'll let it play out and maybe buy a dress for him. He does have a set of 'girl' PJs and some 'girl' shirts, and we let him wear the shirts to school, with not many comments from his classmates.

I live in a mostly conservative area, and I haven't had the strength to wear anything overly feminine myself. I have long hair and people have openly asked if I'm a sir or ma'am before, which is funny in its own right... But I haven't felt safe enough to wear a skirt in public, but that might also be because I don't have shoes to wear with them.

Baby steps.

I'm just wondering if anybody else has had experiences with gender bending children?
Strong's Greek 3341

Original Word: μετάνοια
Part of Speech: Noun, Feminine
Definition: repentance, a change of mind

Merriam-Webster: Metanoia - a transformative change of heart

"Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together" - Red Green
  •  

AlyssaJ

Well I am transsexual and I do have a transgender child (she's non-binary). However, I don't know how much my experience will help you.  She came to terms with her gender in high school and beyond.  She actually led the way in a lot of respects.  Her courage and knowledge are what helped me to face who I am.  So how to handle a young child who may or may not be experiencing his own early gender dysphoria is not my area of expertise.

That said, my one suggestion would be try not to read into it.  It could just be him exploring his world or it could be the beginnings of a gender mismatch.  There's no way for you to know.  So I think you have to try and not let your own experience bias how you treat him.  Allow him to explore, support him in the choices he makes if he does want to wear dresses or other things, and let him learn at his own pace.  Let him define where it leads rather than you trying to guide it one way or the other. Teach him how to be a good person, teach him that it's ok for him to be whomever he is, and let the rest take care of itself.
"I want to put myself out there, I want to make connections, I want to learn and if someone can get something out of my experience, I'm OK with that, too." - Laura Jane Grace

What's it like to transition at mid-life?  http://transitionat40.com/



  •  

FTMDiaries

Well... I first experienced dysphoria at age 5 but didn't transition until 35 years later.

I have two daughters: the eldest is stereotypically girly, but the youngest loved playing with Lego & fire engines and dressing in boys' clothes. When she was around the same age as your son, she wanted to dress up as Ben 10, The Hulk, Spider-Man... that sort of thing.

I had no idea whether she might be trans; the only thing I knew is that she preferred boys' clothes and wanted to be Spider-Man. So we bought her Spider-Man costumes, and boys' clothes, and fire engines... basically, we let her express herself however she wanted to. She never asked for a male name or pronouns, though - which became significant later.

Fast-forward a couple of years, and as soon as puberty hit she actually became embarrassed by her previous boyish behaviour. She grew her hair long, started wearing make-up, and became comfortable with the changes in her body. That's something I never experienced; puberty was hell on Earth for me.

So she's (apparently) cis. She wanted to be boyish when she was little, so we let her be boyish. She wants to be feminine now, so we support her in that too. That's a text-book definition of a tomboy. So my advice to you? Right now, it's just a dress. It's only fabric. So let your son express himself however he wishes: it may just be a phase, or it may be something more serious. You won't know until later, but letting him express himself is the best way to find out how serious it may be.





  •