Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

Does the idea of pregnancy make you feel very uncomfortable/creeped out?

Started by WolfNightV4X1, February 19, 2017, 08:59:40 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Silver Centurion

I had my son before I understood myself, and I never thought that I would have kids at all. When I was going through pregnancy I never felt like one of the other expecting moms in the area that were in groups that I got talked into going to. I didn't feel right being there and I didn't have a similar experience. I've practically raised my son alone so I see myself as both mom and dad though I am FAR more Dad like. I felt very disconnected from pregnancy but not my son if that makes sense.  Since I began transitioning a lot of things make more sense to me but I know that I wouldn't want to go through pregnancy again personally.
  •  

meatwagon

i would love to have a child of my own if it were possible, but as far as i'm concerned, it's not, because the thought of being pregnant is repulsive to me.  i imagine it would give me a similar feeling to periods, in the sense of experiencing something strongly associated as female-only and being unable to do anything about it.  it would feel very wrong for me.
  •  

Vincent J

I understand the feeling. I am mortified of the thought of ever being pregnant.
  •  

Kylo

For me it's got nothing to do with females or that it's a "female only" activity for most people.

It's the fact something is growing inside you and you have no control. A lot could go wrong and you have no control. If nobody is around if something does go wrong you have no control and you could potentially die. And the whole birth thing is - by most accounts I heard - not a pleasant experience, humiliating with other people around (in a hospital), painful, etc.

The mental association I have with pregnancy is debilitation, helplessness and danger.

To a lesser degree I feel that way about menstruation also and handle that so well I ensured I haven't experienced that for about 9 years now, for good or ill. Cannot deal with it.

Then there's those other aspects of my personality that would prevent me from going through it - I have a feeling it would take a hell of a lot for me to feel attached to a kid I just gave birth to, I typically don't "like" anyone at first sight and it was the same according to my mother with me. She wasn't really attached. I know what it's like having a parent who is distant and it sucks. I wouldn't want to repeat that on someone else as I'm am absolutely certain it has profound effects on the kid to have a distant parent. I would be so conflicted and freaked by the whole thing I couldn't vouch for being the standard of parent I would expect.

Being a father, though. That sounds comparatively normal to me. That said I still fear repeating my parents' mistakes too much and I'm still dealing with my hatred for them. I don't think it would be wise for me to ever get myself in this situation.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
  •  

WolfNightV4X1

Quote from: Kylo on March 03, 2017, 12:45:47 PM

Being a father, though. That sounds comparatively normal to me. That said I still fear repeating my parents' mistakes too much and I'm still dealing with my hatred for them. I don't think it would be wise for me to ever get myself in this situation.

Yeah, I feel the same. Though if it helps, I imagine the way to be a better parent is to make the mistakes of those before you, as in know your past and what you know harmed you as a child, and make a concise effort to never do the same and to make a change.

Not saying you have to be one, but just some thoughts in case it was a potential option.


  •  

Kylo

Yeah, my sister does that... her kids are never away from her for too long, she spends a lot of time with them, spends a lot of money on them and making them happy compared to what we has when we were kids. I think they'll turn out ok, their parents don't fight in front of them or have meltdowns over money or get massively drunk and verbally abuse them, etc.

It's too late for me personally, but yeah, I don't know. It's the distance the abused tend to put between themselves and other people. While I don't consider myself directly abused, I've definitely been neglected and screwed with mentally, and my sister wasn't (she came 8 years after). It makes sense she doesn't have the same sort of problems I do.

Good advice for others, though, who might have the same fears.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
  •  

RoryM

Yeah pregnancy would be terrible.

I probably would end up incredibly suicidal and even more depressed since it is the most biologically female thing you can do. Thankfully that's never gonna happen.
  •  

ghoulified g

Quote from: Stone Magnum on February 20, 2017, 02:33:58 PM
I'm very much a 'live and let live' kind of guy. Whatever someone else wants and/or needs to do with their body is their business.
That being said, I'd completely lose my **** if I was forced into being pregnant. A long time ago when I was starting to come 'of age', I had distant relatives chomping at the bit to remind me that pumping out babies was (apparently) my prime directive in life. Those closer to me (mom, dad, grandparents, close aunts) knew better, but that didn't stop the others.

"You'll understand when you have children of your own..."
"Isn't that little baby cute?"
"Do you want to hold him?"
"One day you'll find a nice man and you'll have the prettiest babies..."

Nope. Honestly, I didn't even like other kids when I was a kid myself and I've never liked babies.
I knew that if anything ever happened to me against my will and I ended up getting pregnant that my first trip would've been to PP to fully exercise my right to choose. Thankfully, nothing ever did.

Most people have a hardwired biological drive to have children--trans and cis--and are able to put aside certain things and make sacrifices to have them.
Me? I still don't like kids or babies whatsoever. There's no way I'd put myself through that personal nightmare for something I don't even remotely want.

Different strokes.

I feel exactly the same way, except at the same time as more distant relatives are telling me about all the kids I'm gonna have, I have to deal with my brother (four years younger than me, and I'm still in school) telling me I need to have kids while he says he won't be a dad himself. He says some hilarious things like this sometimes xD

But if someone wants to have kids, why should anyone else be against it? "How does it actually affect you?" is what I usually say in these kinds of situations, I had one last weekend actually when that same brother of mine started badmouthing people who play Pokémon. I think people could benefit from maybe being a bit more tolerant of these things; like, they might not agree with something or want to do it themselves but unless it's actually happening to them then there's no reason for them to get worked up about it. Just let people choose for themselves...
  •