Moving Forward

[ImSomething]

Hey everybody.

So I'm starting to think of where I want to go and how I want to proceed in terms of who I am and how I present and I think I have come up with a good, ambitious plan. I just worry that it might be too ambitious for my personality type or that maybe I'm overlooking some things. Which I guess is why I'm making this post? To hopefully use it as sort of a sounding board?

Anyway, I'd like to start moving towards a social transition. I'm feeling sick to my stomach constantly feeling the tug and pull between just grazing by in what my friends and family expect me to present as and my desired presentation. And so my current plan is to publicly come out at the end of this semester, around my graduation. This way I will have time over the summer to start experimenting and hopefully be at a more comfortable point by the time I move away to my next school.

Any feedback on this would be greatly appreciated!

[Dena]

The time to transition is when you are ready. In my case, I had a nice orderly transition planed and I just started informing management when I was laid off. That move the time table way up because I wasn't about delay the transition long enough to find a new job an work through probation before transitioning. Make your plans but be flexible because plans don't always work as expected.

[Denise]

I presented to different groups of people.  It started with a social group "in the city" then shopping by myself always not in my town then on occasion to local friends then my wife finally said "rip off the band-aid.  I never know what to expect." Then local shopping, then work then the last group was a social biking club (average age is 60+).  Even the biking club was receptive.

One thing I did that I'm very grateful I did was tell EVERYONE what was going on.  Then when it happened full-time they were supportive and not surprised.

I'm glad I did it that way and wouldn't change a thing.

[HappyMoni]

ImSomething,
   I don't think it is a bad thing to tell people a ways before  they see any changes. I came out at work a number of months before they saw the real me. (This is partly due to respect for the students I work with.) It worked out well because it gave everyone a chance to get used to the idea of the change before  seeing it. It emotionally gave them a buffer period between the old and the new. If you announced now, gave them adjustment time, then started your summer experimentation it might be a little less pressure all at once. It can also take a while to get the word out if you are telling people in person. Just a thought.
    Also, once I started making changes, it became intolerable to switch back and forth or take it slow. The more I changed the more I needed to continue. Changing schools could be a good start over time, a fresh start. My thoughts!
Monica