Finally registered and time to say hello

[Scorpio2Scorpia]

I want to start by thanking Susan for starting this, and every wonderful person I have seen giving words of encouragement to one another. I have been reading many forum topics for the past couple weeks (has pretty much become a hobby, as I love to learn new things anyways), not only for myself, but also I share what I read with my remarkable wife.

Me:
I am 35 years old, have 4 amazing children (2 boys 2 girls), and have been with my wife (not legally married, that's another story) since I was 17. Throughout my life, I can recall this feeling that I wasn't 100% boy. Yeah I had a boy body, name, looks, etc; but there was something about me that didn't feel right. As I grew older (especially puberty) I felt like my body wasn't developing properly. I was seeing a psychologist regularly (a long story for another time), but I never brought this up the many times I saw him; mostly out of fear of being labeled with more than the ADHD I had. Around that time, there was a MTF at the company my mom worked for, and I remember how she got disgusted and appalled that she was requesting use of the women's restrooms, as she was transitioning, and dressed/acted her intended sex. I was locked in fear at my own thoughts and feelings about myself, and hearing this made me close that door to anyone (luckily my mom has done almost a full 180 on her feelings towards MTF and FTM persons). Fastforward just over 2 decades, and here I am. My wife has known about certain aspects of this side, but it wasn't until the past few months, I knew more about what was in my head, and finally able to share more with her. She is the love of my life, and my soulmate. She is my anchor when I need to stay, and the winds when I need to sail. I have been crossdressing almost everyday when it is just her and I, and the more I do, the more at peace I feel within myself. She has taken me shopping, and she even helped me find someone we believe to be the best professional for both of us to talk to.

I will end it here (for now), and just want to let everyone that reads this know, there is more than random people here; this is a family. This website is like a ship, and we all have a destination to get to. Please don't be discouraged, and please don't be afraid to ask for help or input from others. I look forward to my journey, and I won't be a stranger (to myself) much longer.

[V M]

Hi Scorpia2Scorpia 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

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Hugs

V M

[Scorpio2Scorpia]

Thank you very much V M. I must say that over the past couple of months reading multiple threads, I feel that this is the right place, and the perfect to find myself

[JeanetteLW]

 Hi Scorpia,

  It's about time you quit yakking elsewhere (exasperated sigh) long enough to come to this forum so I can give you my "official unofficial" greeting. (I let the moderators give the "official official" ones (wink)

  Hi, I'm Jeanette, And I wanted to welcome you to Susan's Place (even though you've been here awhile already). Come on in... well heck I can't say that you are already in and by the looks of it you have already gotten yourself comfy on the sofa. (feet up on the coffee table, drink in hand etc) I guess it's a little late for all of that. Anyway welcome I can see that you already feel at home.  You sure messed up my standard greeting you know?

  I'm glad you are finding yourself (and so young yet) and having help from your wife too. That's a big deal. Not many are so lucky. So you've crossdressed? Yeah me too. I started years before you were born. Yup I'm old, my friends call me a mean rotten old fart in a cowboy hat. I'm not sure how they will accept me as a mean rotten old broad :-(. I'm not sure how I'm going to accept me for than matter. I better though I am already doing that HRT thing and am seeing ummm developments. (blush)  For many years I fooled myself into thinking crossdressing was enough, but when I really think about it, it hasn't been. You probably have had these thoughts too.  I'm still struggling with doubts now. They seem to crop up in the days before I need to be doing something to take another step along this bumpy road.

  Oh heck there I go again, off on a tangent about myself when i should be welcoming you. I best leave it at that and say I'm glad you (and your wife) are here.

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

[Scorpio2Scorpia]

Come on in... well heck I can't say that you are already in and by the looks of it you have already gotten yourself comfy on the sofa. (feet up on the coffee table, drink in hand etc) I guess it's a little late for all of that. Anyway welcome I can see that you already feel at home.  You sure messed up my standard greeting you know?

HI Jeanette, and thank you so very much for allowing me to sit here so comfortably I will admit that I have read MANY of your wonderful welcomes to others, and just as many of your wonderful comments helping others. I apologize for messing up your standard greeting, but you put a smile on my face with it. As for your comment of being "the mean rotten old fart in a cowboy hat," well let me say that true friends will still love you as "the mean old rotten broad" too! I am an all around geek (just got lucky I guess). I have my concerns of how people would accept me as I feel I need to express, but then I remember something my mom's mom taught us, "Who the hell cares?! As long as you're happy, not hurting anyone, it's no one's d*mned business what you do." BTW her middle name was Jean, and my dad's mom name was Jean too (and I've talked with my wife, if we progress to the point of choosing a new name for me, Jean will be my middle. As a tribute to two of the most influential women in my life).

Now that I have rambled on as well, I look forward to chatting with you more, and reading your comments as I stumble across them

[HappyMoni]

Welcome Scorpio,
   As you have stated, people are nice here. I would caution you to watch out for Jeanette because she is always moving the furniture around making people comfortable. I can't tell you how many times I fell on my behind falling victim to her 'feng shui.' Seriously, this is a great place. We share, we vent, and we learn. Glad you are here.
Moni

[Scorpio2Scorpia]

Thank you Moni for the heads up! I guess it's like being at Walmart, falling prices everywhere, and now I gotta make sure I don't stub my toe on a newly arranged piece of furniture with Jeanette around lol! You honestly had me in one serious guffaw with that (I'm very good with mental images and pictured it perfectly). I feel so accomplished already, 3 amazing peers who's comments I have read across the forums have greeted me, giving me a wondrous welcome .

I read my wife almost everything I post here (and we discuss many things I have seen but not posted on), and I hope she too will be able to find as many useful things here as I have.

Again, thank you ladies for your tremendous warmth that you spread across the forums!

[JeanetteLW]

I would caution you to watch out for Jeanette because she is always moving the furniture around making people comfortable. I can't tell you how many times I fell on my behind falling victim to her 'feng shui.'
Moni

   HEY!! now Moni !! It isn't my fault you don't look before you plop. You should look to see if your chair is still there before you sit back down. After all our new guests have priority don't they?

  Hugs,
  Jeanette

[HappyMoni]

Scorpio,
   Welcome to your wife too. Do you care to offer a name for us to call you?  Just wondering.  For some  reason I want to call you Serpico.

   HEY!! now Moni !! It isn't my fault you don't look before you plop. You should look to see if your chair is still there before you sit back down. After all our new guests have priority don't they?

  Hugs,
  Jeanette

That 'spains it,' I was aiming for the sofa, Jeanette!
Moni

[Scorpio2Scorpia]

Scorpio,
   Welcome to your wife too. Do you care to offer a name for us to call you?  Just wondering.  For some  reason I want to call you Serpico.That 'spains it,' I was aiming for the sofa, Jeanette!
Moni

There is a name that my wife and I use, Valerie, because that would have been my name if I would have been born a girl (mom was told I was and here it is, guess I'm 35 years late lol). We haven't set anything in stone, because I don't look, or really feel like a Valerie. We have some other names tossed about, I love Kara (have been a Supergirl fan most of my life). I chose this as a user name because I am a Scorpio, and I liked the play on words of Scorpia  (masculine and a feminine version of it) for myself. I read a week ago that it can be changed, and I figured this would get me by until I discover who's hiding in my own head. If it helps, you and anyone else is free to use Valerie until (if) the time comes to be changed

[HappyMoni]

Valerie,
   I like the name. I also think Vanessa is a pretty 'V' name. I like knowing names if possible, it makes it more personal when you are talking to someone. 'Hey you' doesn't cut it when you are having a heart to heart chat.
Moni

[Scorpio2Scorpia]

Vanessa is pretty, but I couldn't use it because it's my cousins middle name, and I would constantly think of her (which there's no problem between her and I, it would just always be there). I also like Veronica, but I'm no Veronica. I'm really leaning towards Kara, not just because I'm a Supergirl fan, but then I'd keep my 1st initial.

As for "Hey you", it's funny to me because there was this guy I was an acquaintance of (we had mutual friends and he looked like easy money Tom Cruise and I looked like Top Gun Tom), and we never knew each other's names but we had each other's phone numbers. The weird part is we had saved each other as "that guy" without knowing it. But you are right, "hey you" is a bit impersonal.