Hey, my transition has been medically fantastic, I seen a therapist once, she set me up with an endo, which took a few months to meet up with her, I had my bloods done and a week later I was on full dose blocker and 75% estrogen dose. For 6 months I was on this until she upped my estrogen to 100%. Next appointment is at the end of may now, hopefully levels are perfectly female. In the time I waited for my endo, I had my DNA banked incase we ever wanna use it. Which was a weird experience lol
Now socially things are not all perfect, not bad but not perfect...
When I told my GF back at the end of February last year she was amazing about it, we sat up all night talking, like till 4-5 o'clock in the morning. They day after we did my make up, and got me dressed up nice, she had me feeling super confident and she has had my back ever since, she cried alot thinking of all the things i missed out on, as explained how I felt though our much of the events in my life. She has always seen me as quiet feminine, so it wasn't such a surprise and she its what she loves about me is my femininity that always shone through my rough edges lol.
After being on hormones 5 months one of my brothers visited and I told him the story, he was not really surprised either. After a month or two when I met my other two brothers I told them, they wher all great about it, they have been super nice which I never would have expected. They always seen my feminine side too. I found this so funny as none of them worked as hard at being a man as I did, I was always a great working around the house or too any farmers in our area.
Now my parents is a funny story, my mother new 5 years ago and made me feel so bad about it that I went into hiding again for years.
She is at the moment just getting there. She said something to me yesterday that showed me she is begining to understand. "I know it must be difficult" about me living this crappy double Life.
My dad has been so far terrible. This was expected, he was always a very harsh angry man, deep down I know he is good, but he is very insecure in himself.
He has pushed us all away even my mum. In his anger he has said some of the most horrible things a father could say to their children.
To me my insult in his time of absolute rage would have been to call me the many homosexual slurrs, as much as it is horrible to me it shows even though he is in denial about me being female, he always seen my femininity too, and this annoyed him enough that he would insult me about it.
My mum and bros got my back though.
Me and him wher the closest of us, as with my passive nature I would always forgive him.
My brothers talk much less with him than I.
It is this loss that probably hurts him the most, I still feel very sorry to have to do this to him. But I am done living my life for others.
Mum has told me he is a different person since I came out. He is trying to be nicer to them back home in Ireland. I live abroad now for work. this doesn't help me mend things either.
Myself I am still not out in everyday life and live in tiny village so I fear even walk down to get my car when I am dressed. My work too is a very male dominated place, (wine cellar)
I have come out two one female coleague who has been great about it and super interested and curious about it all. It so funny what is common knowledge for us, ordinary people haven't a clue about.
My last frontier is dropping the bomb on Facebook that I am trans and letting it snow ball from there.
Times have been tough, but I see I have been fortunate with alot of things too.
I put that down to my belief in God and and praying all my life to make me female. some people may laugh when I mention god.
But alot of my prayers wher answered, since like 7 years old when I became concius of female and male I always wanted to be seen female.
My hands and feet stayed small, i stayed slim and slender and am the smallest in the family after my mom. I have no body hair and very little facial hair. All my brothers have more than me even though they are all younger.
I never lost no head hair either.
I have been so fortunate in this sense too, I am i thankful for it all.
I hope things continue in this direction.
Recently found out that SRS here in Switzerland is free on basic medical insurance, which we all have
Life is so much brighter for me now.
