Tiight, Dry, Painful Vagina

[Zumbagirl]

Issue #2. Dry, tight, painful when having sex vagina.

That pretty much sums it up, lol! I absolutely do not regret SRS, but it's a pain.  Since day 1 my Vag has been tight and it never loosened. I've been great about dilating until the past 3 months.  I've travelled a lot and it's difficult to adhere to a dilation schedule when doing so.  I've lost about 1/2 an inch.  I'm not too concerned because I believe I can get it back. (learned that here).Any advice on tight, painful when having sex vaginas, will be greatly appreciated.  I 've actually stopped dating because of the sex thing.  My last bf was fine with it. We had anal sex instead. But I didn't go through all of this to be relegated to the back door!

Dear Angie, I am also in the northeast, and in the last few months I have also been suffering from an exceptionally dry vagina to the point of annoying rubbing. My surgery was in 2003, so my vag is 14 years old now and I figured I had everything all figured out until the last few months. Finally today I had an appointment with my gyn and he ended up writing me a prescription for premarin cream. I used it once before and it seemed to work well so I will try it again and see how it goes one more time. Weird that I have been so uncomfortable and yet I also got a clean bill of health from the gyn although he does admit he has little experience with post-op vaginas.

[angiedream]

Unfortunately, the cream doesn't seem to be doing very much for me. However the Vagisil moisturizer was fantastic as it really keeps me moist for several days. I'm going to keep using it though, and hopefully I'll notice a change. 

I'm still experiencing pain though, so I'm hoping I'll get to see Dr. Bowers when she's in town again. I'm hoping she'll have some remedy for me. My primary care physician told me that having sex at this point should not be painful.

Good luck!

[KayXo]

Progesterone taken orally did wonders for my vagina, kept the area moist and elastic and lubricating more than usual. Amazing! A dab of testosterone can probably help too.

[bronlee]

Angie, regarding your first issue. Do not be concerned about becoming older. I am over 60 years old and, as far as I can tell, people just accept me as an older woman.
I have been face to face with several other women, both young and old, and every one of them has accepted me as another woman.
In another post I related two recent experiences where I was face to face with two other women, one an older woman and the other a younger woman.
The older woman and I were standing together in a greengrocer's shop and we went to pick up  a carrot at the same time. We had our eyes on the same carrot. We did touch each other's hand as we went to pick up the carrot. That resulted in a little giggle and a smile from both of us.
In the other incident, I wanted to try on a skirt and went to the fitting rooms. The young woman gave me a card with '1' on it. I then turned left to go into the fitting rooms. The young woman told I should turn right and go into the women's fitting rooms. The men's fitting rooms were to the left. She completely accepted me as another woman.
So, young Angie, do not despair. Do not be concerned about not being accepted as you become older. In fact, I think people are more accepting the older one becomes.
Hugs,
Bronwen.

[SarahGemini]

Lots of great advice here.  I echo Dena's advice re estrogen cream. I have had some severe issues with tightness and lack of elasticity.  My gyn prescribed Premarin cream which I used to coat my dilation tool with or simply apply with the applicator it comes with internally and the to place a small about on the outer lips/labia also. 

As Dena mentions - I can help increase mucosal lubricatiion even for us to a certain degree.  Perhaps more important is it's ability to help make the lining of the vagina more elastic and flexible through direct effect of localized estrogen.  It helped me with dilation a lot. 

I haven't been able to have vaginal sex with my husband ever though.  He's just too big and although I had good depth 6-7"  (GRS with Dr Meltzer in 07) I've always struggled with width.  We have fun with other sexual activities for sure but I have struggled immensely with going through all the steps, work and effort to get the genitals I should have had only to be physically incapable of accommodating him.  We have just had to learn other methods but I struggle immensely with still feeling like I'm not woman enough or female enough because of this inadequacy.

Sarah

[AnonyMs]

I haven't been able to have vaginal sex with my husband ever though.  He's just too big and although I had good depth 6-7"  (GRS with Dr Meltzer in 07) I've always struggled with width. 

I've always had the impression that width is something you can increase over time. Have you tried anything to do this?

[Dena]

I haven't been able to have vaginal sex with my husband ever though.  He's just too big and although I had good depth 6-7"  (GRS with Dr Meltzer in 07) I've always struggled with width.  We have fun with other sexual activities for sure but I have struggled immensely with going through all the steps, work and effort to get the genitals I should have had only to be physically incapable of accommodating him.  We have just had to learn other methods but I struggle immensely with still feeling like I'm not woman enough or female enough because of this inadequacy.

Sarah

I don't know if you were told this but Dr Meltzer has another dilator that's not included in the kit which goes beyond the inch and a half diameter. It wasn't something we were told directly but it came up in the conversation before Mariah started her dilation. There would be an extra charge for it but the cost isn't excessive.

[SarahGemini]

Thank you Dena and AnonyMs - sorry not wanting to hijack this thread. Appreciate the advice. I was never able to get past the diameter of the 3rd dilateor despite trying multiple times a day fir months.  I was at 6.5" depth at that time.  I kind of wish I had a skin graft which Dr Melter had suggested as an option but at the point of my GRS I didn't really imagine being with anyone.

Sarah

[AnonyMs]

Is it a physical limit, or it just hurts too much?

[SarahGemini]

A physical limit. If tried many times to push through with larger diameter dialatirs but I just end up tearing and it heals with scar tissue. 

Someone earlier mentioned a dynamic dialation technique by Dr Supporn? Does anyone have any more information on this or perhaps a link they might share?  Thank you.

Sarah

[AnonyMs]

By physical limit I was thinking you're up against bone and there's just no more space. Tearing sounds different to that, and perhaps Suporn's dynamic dilation could help. I don't know much about it, but perhaps tearing my also be related to the tissue not being very flexible, and if so maybe an vaginal estrogen cream could help.

There's something on Suporn's dilation in this document, and I'll pm you a link to another one.

http://totalirc.net/hosted/Suporn2015.pdf

[SarahGemini]

Thank you AnonyMs. I'm starting work with a pelvic floor/massage expert too. I really appreciate these docs.   I do already use Premarin cream and found it helped a bit.