I work for the Department of Defense, which is a very conservative culture, but it is also a place with lots of rules and regulations, including EEO guidelines, and they are strictly adhered to. This was much to my advantage when I decided I had to face my fears and come out at work at age 59.
People already had a clue: I had FFS and came back from three weeks of leave looking very different, and shortly after my return, I had to ask my supervisor to submit an SF-50 to get my name changed on my personnel records. I think there were some who probably connected the dots, but it took an overheard phone call, and a complaint to management about "personal phone calls of a medical nature" that made coming out at work a necessity.
I went to see an EEO counselor, and she helped me interface with management, set up a timeline, and helped craft an e-mail that management endorsed and sent out to my department (about 180 people). It specified my new legal name, the correct pronouns to use, and that I would be using the ladies restrooms.
I was a nervous wreck my first day, but things could not have gone more smoothly. Nobody made rude comments or treated me any differently. Management went out their way to ask if there were any problems or if I needed any assistance. Considering I had been with my current department over two years as a guy, I was amazed how nonchalant everyone was about it. There was occasional misgendering, but always accidental. It probably helped that my name went from Terry to Terri, so there was no "new name" for people to get used to.
It took me all of about three days for going full-time to seem completely normal. The biggest change was getting up 15 minutes earlier every day to have extra time to put on my makeup. That, and the forehead-slapping realization I had to buy some suitable work clothes. I have several nice outfits but they are much too dressy for work.
I am so glad that is all behind me. What a relief!
With kindness,
Terri