Am I actually a transgender mtf and not non-binary. Am I lying to myself?

[Dena]

Some transsexuals don't have surgery because of money issues, medical issues, personal reasons or possibly something else so not have surgery doesn't mean a person isn't transsexual. Transsexual means a person who wants to change their gender so as long as they have the desire, they would remain transsexual. In my case, I am no longer transsexual because I have changed my gender and I no longer have the desire. That is why I refer to me being transsexual in the past tense.

[Asche]

Somebody who is transgender can be either non binary or transsexual. Transsexual is somebody who has a binary view on gender. Somebody who is non binary is somewhere in the middle. Transsexuals desire to change their body to the opposite gender as much as possible however if you are non binary, surgery may still be desirable.

Well, different people have different interpretations of those terms.  I call myself a "transsexual" because I want to live as and have a body that is as close as possible to the "opposite" gender from what I was assigned at birth.  I call myself "non-binary" because I don't identify as either male or female.  "Male" and "female" are, to me, simply different systems of behavior for interacting with other people.  In my view, some people identify with one or the other system of behavior, the way people may identify with "American-ness" or with being a Yankees fan.  And some people don't.

You could call my view of gender "binary," in that society only has two such systems of behavior.  But they are social constructs, like language or laws.  Gender, as I experience it, is something society has developed and teaches us (starting at or before birth), not a biological fact (although biological factors are involved.)

[Devlyn]

Can you still tell people that they are transexual even if they didn't do srs,  or in the process of transitioning?

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Absolutely not. It's never all right to tell someone else how they identify.

Somebody who is transgender can be either non binary or transsexual. Transsexual is somebody who has a binary view on gender. Somebody who is non binary is somewhere in the middle. Transsexuals desire to change their body to the opposite gender as much as possible however if you are non binary, surgery may still be desirable.

Personally, I was a transsexual because my gender identity is fully feminine. Remaining male held no attraction to me and I have never regretted my decision. As for you, I can't say because I don't know exactly what you feel. It normal to be somewhat confused about where in the spectrum you fit in the early stages but that's why the RLE requirement exist. It gives you time to work with your gender and discover where you really fit into the picture.

Huh? First I heard of that. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Mikka55]

Absolutely not. It's never all right to tell someone else how they identify

Sorry they meaning me... Can I still be a transexual... even tho i didn't do srs yet and still in the process of transitioning.


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[Jacqueline]

Sorry they meaning me... Can I still be a transexual... even tho i didn't do srs yet and still in the process of transitioning.


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Works for me. I think if you identify as female on one end of the spectrum.... Yes, you are a transsexual.

With warmth,

Joanna

[JB_Girl]

I am asking this question because I am trying to find if I am non-binary,  or am I actual mtf trans gender.  (Here it goes)...........
Here is my story......
Back in Sept 2016 I decided to transition,  and started my transition. At the time I was still new to the trans gender world.   I'm still new to it but I'm willing to learn more.   At the time I knew I wanted to be a women and actually look like a women FFS,  Hormones, and possible SRS,  hair removal etc.   I already did my tracheal shave and I wanted to do more surgery.  If money was no issue and people weren't so judgement and if government paper work took shorter time to process,  I want to be a female this instant.
At the time I thought I was non binary gender fluid.  Because I wanted to keep my male self so people wouldn't judge me.  I wanted a androgynous appearance.   After I did some soul searching I may not be Gender Fluid.  The reason I say that is because I want to go fulltime female.   I don't want to be male,  Im male is because its how people sees me,  but its not truly how I feel.  So all this time have I been lying to myself and others so other people will be happier...
So my question is.......
.Has anyone ever experienced the same feeling as I am right now?  Do you feel you are actually the opposite gender,  but only say non binary to please other people so you don't risk your job or family?
I know everyone's story is different,  im just curious if anyone is experiencing what I am experiencing.

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Hi Mikka,
I identity as nonbinary, but express myself most of the time as female.  How you are yourself is separate from how you present.
What surgeries you may or may not pursue  is your business and nobody else's.
I am legally and physically female.  I've had GCS.  It makes life safer when I am abroad, and easier here at home. 
But I can be as butch or as femme as I feel and it is not anybody's business but my own.
We have the absolute right to identify as who we are, and acknowledge that that identification is fungible and on a scale, never fixed.
Hope this helps and does not hopelessly muddle  things.

JB

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[Ayla]

Hi Mikka,
I identity as nonbinary, but express myself most of the time as female.  How you are yourself is separate from how you present.
What surgeries you may or may not pursue  is your business and nobody else's.
I am legally and physically female.  I've had GCS.  It makes life safer when I am abroad, and easier here at home. 
But I can be as butch or as femme as I feel and it is not anybody's business but my own.
We have the absolute right to identify as who we are, and acknowledge that that identification is fungible and on a scale, never fixed.
Hope this helps and does not hopelessly muddle  things.

JB

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Hi Mikka

Just as many of us have shared, the taxonomy that you use to describe yourself is perhaps less important than understanding and expressing yourself.  This in itself may prove to be a journey of growth and discovery rather than a swift and direct route to the destination that you perceive or expect as you start your travels.

We are each quite unique, and it is good that the either/or binary strait jacket is increasingly an artefact of the past.  For many years while I understood myself to be transgender I thought that my only option as a maab, would be to understand and to declare myself as mtf.  This proved to be just as distressing and felt just as much of an 'act' as  when I earlier tried to reject and to resist my transgender nature and present as a binary alpha male.

Several years later, having had extensive ffs, transition levels of hrt and found increasing comfort in a more androgynous presentation, I am far more comfortable with my understanding and expression of my non binary nature.  Having said this, there is rarely a day that goes by when I do not ponder my final destination or landing point.  It is also fair to say that just as I am comfortable with the pronouns they/them, he/him, she/her, I am also comfortable should I end my travels as a fully transitioned mtf in the physical sense, even if I still understand myself as non binary.

Our journey is unique to each of us.  Authenticity and honesty are necessary for a successful journey. Perhaps my only counsel would be to listen to yourself,  seek counsel from fellow travellers and view this as a voyage of delight and discovery, free from the manacles of genitally assigned birth gender. 

Safe travels

Aisla

[JB_Girl]

Several years later, having had extensive ffs, transition levels of hrt and found increasing comfort in a more androgynous presentation, I am far more comfortable with my understanding and expression of my non binary nature.  Having said this, there is rarely a day that goes by when I do not ponder my final destination or landing point.  It is also fair to say that just as I am comfortable with the pronouns they/them, he/him, she/her, I am also comfortable should I end my travels as a fully transitioned mtf in the physical sense, even if I still understand myself as non binary.

Our journey is unique to each of us.  Authenticity and honesty are necessary for a successful journey. Perhaps my only counsel would be to listen to yourself,  seek counsel from fellow travellers and view this as a voyage of delight and discovery, free from the manacles of genitally assigned birth gender. 

I for one will call you girlfriend, teacher, and fellow traveler.  Over the years Aisla you have been a beacon of insight for me and countless others.  Understanding that gender identity need not be static and that gender expression is quite divorced from that was transcendent for me.  It feels good to circle back to the beginning and find that truth once again.  See you soon sweetie.

JB