Rarely if ever getting clocked; Here's how it still happened ;)

[LiliFee]

So... This isn't an in-depth topic, just a quick rant about something weird that happened to me this weekend.

First of all, I've been on HRT for 1,5 years now and all is working out super well. As far as being read as trans, this pretty much never happens. And if it does, it's by people who either have had previous experience with other trans people, or those who've been running around in the queer scene in general.

You wanna know what happened to me? Somebody told you that queer people have a radar for one another? Well, generally I do, I'm pretty good at picking up who's who, usually to my amusement. Last Saturday I was at this party, and two girls walked in. The first thing that happened was that my damn Queer-Detector did (as I lovingly call it now) was to signal these two might be in love with each other, a suspicion that didn't take long to get its first acknowledgements by cute nudges, kisses and cuddles between the two. So far, so good

Twenty minutes later, one of the girls steps up to me and asks me "Now what was your name again"? So I tell her my name, and she nudgingly replies by asking whether I wouldn't want to be called by the masculine version... (which I actually did find insulting a bit, more on that later). To confirm it, I tell her again that in my native language there's this similar masculine version of the name, but that it wasn't my thing.

First things first: she had a radar too, and we noticed each other straight away. That was funny actually

As for her question: I don't get clocked a lot these days, and I have a closed narrative. In my apartment block (where the party was), nobody knows my history and as far as I can tell, nobody seems to have a clue. What I appreciate is that she didn't spell out the T-word in front of everybody else. Not to my amusement however, was the fact that she clearly saw me the way I am. Like, I present as a cis-female and that should have been obvious to her. No strings attached. Even then, she chose to ask whether I wouldn't go by a masculine name

Perhaps she didn't know, but that did actually trigger me. Not that I let her in on that, we played a round of table-football and I was off. She was a guest for the evening anyway, living on the other side of the country. So as far as I know, the status quo has been preserved. But: getting clocked, even in such a subtle way, didn't go down nicely

[Denise]

I would have been very interested in knowing why? There may have been a clue you telegraph in code that you might be able to eliminate.

Or....

My daughter's name was chosen specifically to allow it to be shortened to a masculine name for, I hate to admit it, professional reasons.  The feminine form is the syllables while the masculine form is one.  She uses the short version most of the time. 

[LiliFee]

I would have been very interested in knowing why? There may have been a clue you telegraph in code that you might be able to eliminate.

Or....

My daughter's name was chosen specifically to allow it to be shortened to a masculine name for, I hate to admit it, professional reasons.  The feminine form is the syllables while the masculine form is one.  She uses the short version most of the time.

Perhaps... I think there's something there, but it's kinda hard to know what. The thing is, getting clocked is a very rare occasion for me, so I've really been wondering whether it was me or her Believe me about that... some evidence about my passing privilege:

- Nobody in my shared flat seems to have figured it out, judging by all the conversations I've been having with the girls here about getting pregnant (and occasionally them asking me about period issues etc)
- Even though I've been in the hospital a couple of times lately (unrelated cause), pretty much every doc and nurse has asked whether I was pregnant before taking any steps or doing any scans
- I've been doing sports at an all-womens club, no problem there too

And then this girl steps in, and we immediately recognize each other for who we are. For me, it was just a feeling when I saw her. Something between the lines, like an intuition coming out of nowhere.

As for the name: I'm not from this country, and my first name definitely isn't from here. Plus: her eyes after asking me about the masculine version were VERY telling

[Daniellekai]

Could be she meant no disrespect and thought that you might be FTM/closeted. Always something to consider...

[Denise]

I like Danielle's take thinking you might be ftm.  Too funny.