Hello everyone. My name is Jessica Rose, or at least that is what I hope it will be in a few years. I am not a great storyteller nor am I very eloquent, but here goes...
I started crossdressing in my early teens. I got caught a few times with female clothing in my room and my parent's were not very pleased. Since I did not have any sisters the situation was not easy to explain. Being caught always resulted in verbal and physical abuse. In the mid-1970's things like this were simply not discussed or deemed acceptable in my family.
I went to college and got married. I spent 12 years in the military. We had two awesome daughters and life was good. I was living up to the expectations everyone else had set. Still I was not truly happy. Although my wife accepted limited crossdressing I knew there was something deeper going on, but I could not figure it out.
Along came the internet, and now we had a world of information at our fingertips. I finally began to understand that my desires went much deeper than crossdressing. I realized that I wanted to be a female. Unfortunately this was still rare in the early 2000's. I knew my friends and family would never accept something like this so I gave up on the idea, but 'she' did not go away.
A few months ago I discovered Susan's Place. I began reading the stories of people in various stages of transition. I recognized myself in many of those stories - easily frustrated, quick to anger, and being unkind to those I love the most. The light finally came on. I realized that hiding my desire to become a woman was actually hurting the people I loved the most, my wife and daughters. On Dec 28 I decided it was time for me to live the rest of my life as the person I always wanted to be.
I started laser treatments for beard removal in early January. I have a moderate amount of grey that the laser won't get, so I started electrolysis a week later. My electrologist is amazing, and she is actually the first person I came out to. She made me feel comfortable and welcome. I have even dozed off a few times while she was working on me.
I early February I came out to my wife. She is understandably not very happy about it. I am still trying to explain things to her. We have been married a long time, and I made sure she knows that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
On 23 March I had an appointment with a wonderful doctor. She has been working with transgender patients for over 15 years, and she made me feel at ease. She asked me several questions about my life and my feelings. By the time I left her office, my prescription for estradiol patches was on the way to my local pharmacy. That night I applied the first patch, and I realized my journey has finally begun.
