Quote from: Charlie Nicki on March 29, 2017, 10:32:20 AM
I had a meeting with a therapist scheduled for Monday but couldn't go and haven't rescheduled. Deep down I feel like it won't work for me at all, I tried once 3 years ago and it didn't give me what I wanted which was reassurance.
So you tried once 3 years ago & you gave up after a couple of months because you didn't gel with her. That doesn't mean that therapy won't work - it just means that that particular therapist wasn't right for you. That's OK: we don't all get on with everyone and I've had therapists that were a complete waste of my time too. So reschedule that appointment and go and see this new therapist, and if that doesn't work out just look for another one.
Also, in my experience, therapists aren't there to give you reassurance, or permission, or validation, or whatever. Rather, they listen to what you're saying and they ask you pointed questions to help you think about what is right for you. They won't tell you what you need to do; they'll help you figure it out for yourself.
Quote from: Charlie Nicki on March 29, 2017, 10:32:20 AM
I've been reading here that even low dose HRT helped people feel better about their gender confusion so is there a test or something I can have at an endocrinologist that will help me know if my body "needs" the female hormone? (I'm a biological male) or if it will make me feel better?
Whilst I'm sure this is not how you meant it here, I'm not a fan of the term 'gender confusion' because it's one that is used by anti-trans types to invalidate & demean us; as if we are somehow deluded or simply can't make up our minds. Most trans people are not at all confused about our gender.
That having been said, an endocrinologist would assess you as a biological male and would check to see whether your hormones are in the normal male range. If they're not, you may be offered medication to adjust them into the normal male range. That would include checking your oestrogen & progesterone levels and making sure they're
low enough to be in the male range; if they're too high they'll want to bring them down. It's exceedingly unlikely that you'd find a reputable endo who would decide to switch your hormone profile round to the female range without a very good reason (such as a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria).
I would strongly advise against taking
any dose of HRT - which could mess up your body chemistry, damage certain organs, and cause irreversible changes to your body - without first determining whether it's the right thing to do. You need to figure that out with a therapist first before making any decisions that could permanently change your body. And then once you have a diagnosis, you need to work with a doctor to ensure you take HRT safely.
You may have heard reports of 'trans regret'. Many of them are fake, but there are some genuine cases out there of men who never actually had Gender Dysphoria but had some other reason to want to present themselves as female. So they transition to female thinking it's what they want, but they realise that it was the wrong thing to do because it doesn't solve what was wrong in the first place.
That's why it's so important that you get the right diagnosis: if you have Gender Dysphoria then transitioning may be very helpful for you. If you don't, it may be very harmful... especially for a gay man. Take it from me: it's utterly heartbreaking to be a gay man moving through the world in a female-looking body. When I presented as female I couldn't possibly attract any partners because the only men who were interested in me were straight, and they wanted me for all those female attributes. Gay men wouldn't give me the time of day. Imagine how lonely and devastating that feels!
TL;DR: If you're confused rather than dysphoric, work on the source of your confusion with a therapist before making any life-changing decisions.
